Grand Christmas Ball....all welcome

Very good likeness of you Chewy although the sunglasses are a bit OTT ( said sniffily) ?

Under no illusions ... I am gonna be in BI-I-I-IG trouble when Mr Scribbles sees the photos in Country Life. He thinks I'm at a Townswomens' Guild conference. ?

Totally gorgeous chewy. I didn’t recognise you in your sewage cleaning gear
Hope everyone has a ball today. Merry Christmas one and all. Try not to get too ? ? ? or ?. Enjoy x

So that’s you Chewy. And very glam you look too if I may say so. You’ll certainly put the rest of us in the shade.

Chewbacca Now that's what I call classy.

Rightly so Doodle, thank you. Here I am, all ready for my photo opportunity.

Queue. Form an orderly queue please. All those who want their photo taken with Chewy. Famous socialite and glamour sewage worker. Queue here now. No pushing ?

Paparazzi? They'll be here for me! I'm famous don't you know? Well, I've been in the local
paper quite a lot recently.

OMG ! The paparazzi ! Wonder who they’re chasing. I swear I saw Andrew in the shrubbery.

Nikons! The paparazzi have arrived so smile nicely 'cos we're all gonna be in next month's Tatler and Country Life.

My soop don’t you look a picture.
Sorry the Argy has closed. I did tell you it was food poisoning didn’t I. Can’t remember who used to do some cooking for us .............
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Chewbacca That's what I told the shifty looking chap loitering outside the venue. After some haggling he said that I could have two for the price of one. Seems like a bargain. I shall stand on the street corner in all my finery and hope to ensnare a titled gent who will be proud to have me hanging on his arm (as we enter] and off his shirt tails (when we leave). My husband has offered to taxi me home. Can't handle 'anky panky at my age!

My word soop you look amazing! You paid £1.00 for your ticket? You woz robbed!

Well now...I have only just discovered that one of my favourite drinking holes; The Argy Bargy Caff has closed. I am beside myself with grief. It wasn't the cleanest/tidiest/most selubrious (?) joint in town BUT it was fun. I liked the staff. Always good for a belly laff.

Anyway, I managed to get a ticket for the Grand wotsit. It cost all of a quid on the black market. I was horrified. In my day., you could have a week's holiday in Benidorm for that much.

I looked out my figure-hugging fish-tail sparkly dress. It doesn't fit. I settled for ripped designer jeans (the label, swinging from the waistband, reads £2000 (which is a lie). I have a Bardot, off the shoulder top. My "pretend boob" jiggles about a bit when I jive. Who cares...not moi. As for shoes...I have some white, pointy-toed stilettos left over from my gadding about days in the fifties. They are a bit scuffed. Star-struck chaps would keep stepping on my toes. Therefore, I shall super glue a sprig of holly over the toe cap. Classy...dead right! where's the powder room? I need to slap on some lippy.

Lord L in his onesie can easily be mistaken for a kangaroo. The trick is to look at the feet - Lord L always wears plimsolls with his onesie. Seeing double or triple is normal after a party at this establishment.

Kangaroos ?!
Just seen one bounding across the lawn. Where did it come from lemon? Can’t quite believe it. Mind you I have had a fair bit to drink ?

Jumpers, Gemini! Sadly, Christmas jumpers came between us.
I caught sight of Lord L chasing the under-parlourmaid up the back stairs while wearing a flashing Rudolf sweater with his lacy pants and I had a road-to-Damascus moment. How could I ever fancy a man in a polyester jumper? Sorry, Lord L but at least Lemon can put the shotgun away before she accidentally shoots out any more of the chandeliers.
Now, didn't Lord Lucan get seen in Sarf Efrika recently?

I am going to fall out with you now , Scribbles ! Are you calling me two faced ? If I was I’d choose a better one than this one. Good job we’re anonymous. You’re spared the shock.
Now I want to know more about your crush on Lemon’s OH.

Happy Days!
Oh thank you dear friend, they will be a godsend.?

Goodness me Lemon! Surely you don't think I'd have forgotten you, do you? Because I know how frequently you get a little "merry" get hammered at this time of year and sometimes stumble --fall down unconscious--; I chose these for you. No one will know if you've got your foot stuck in a drain or not with these shoes, will they?

See how I think of your best interest?

FFS!
Those are my push me/pull you yellow shoes!
Gerrramoff!

Excellent! Thank you chewy I love them and just my colour too. Now what can I get chewy for Christmas ?

Designer shoes for Doodle. These will be ace for when she doesn't know whether she's coming or going.

Choking with laughter about Lord Lucan.? As if I would! I'm a woman of taste and refinement, I'll have you know. I modelled myself on my mother's old friend, Edna Everage.

Sorry for my earlier mistake, Gemini. I just realised your name means there are two of you so you must have been standing side by side in your vintage vests - or has the booze and other substances got me seeing double again?

By the way, you look ridiculous in those leggings. (Did they have them in my size? ?)