Limericks 8

My mum`s an intrepid motor biker
But was once a very keen hiker
She`d march up Snaefell
Muttering, “Oh, this is hell”
'Cos the mozzies all seemed to like 'er!

There was a young lad from the Dales

There was a young lad from the Dales
Who wanted to walk backwards to Wales

There was a young lad from the Dales
Who wanted to walk backwards to Wales
With a smart periscope

There was a young lad from the Dales
Who wanted to walk backwards to Wales
With a smart periscope
And oodles of hope

There was a young lad from the Dales
Who wanted to walk backwards to Wales
With a smart periscope
And oodles of hope
And boots with enormous hobnails.

Outside Leeds he was blighted with blisters

Outside Leeds he was blighted with blisters
So he put on some tights of his sister's

Outside Leeds he was blighted with blisters
So he put on some tights of his sister's
He stayed comfy for miles

Outside Leeds he was blighted with blisters
So he put on some tights of his sister's
He stayed comfy for miles
And in spite of the smiles

Outside Leeds he was blighted with blisters
So he put on some tights of his sister's
He stayed comfy for miles
And in spite of the smiles
He persisted with blister resisters

These limericks sure make me laugh

These limericks sure make me laugh
It's fun to indulge in some chaff

These limericks sure make me laugh
It's fun to indulge in some chaff
They're witty and snappy

These limericks sure make me laugh
It`s fun to indulge in some chaff
They`re witty and snappy
Make people feel happy

These limericks sure make me laugh
It`s fun to indulge in some chaff
They`re witty and snappy
Make people feel happy
Now I'm off for a pint (or carafe)

Now I do like a nice glass of gin

Now I do like a nice glass of gin
Mine is with ice, a slice and a grin

Now I do like a nice glass of gin
Mine is with ice, a slice and a grin
Let's head for the bar ?

Now I do like a nice glass of gin
Mine is with ice, a slice and a grin
Let's head for the bar ?
With a loud "Ha, Ha, Har!"

Now I do like a nice glass of gin
Mine is with ice, a slice and a grin
Let's head for the bar ?
With a loud "Ha, Ha, Har!"
And not leave 'til it dribbles all down our chin

There was a young woman from Chester

There was a young woman from Chester
Who couldn't use shoes due to a blister

There was a young woman from Chester
Who couldn't use shoes due to a blister
So she walked on her hands

There was a young woman from Chester
Who couldn't use shoes due to a blister
So she walked on her hands
Which confused some brigands

There was a young woman from Chester
Who couldn't use shoes due to a blister
So she walked on her hands
Which confused some brigands
Who chased the poor woman just to test her.

The rain outside is keeping me in

The rain outside is keeping me in
I'm afraid it would shrivel my skin

The rain outside is keeping me in
I'm afraid it would shrivel my skin
I'd look like a prune

The rain outside is keeping me in
I'm afraid it would shrivel my skin
I'd look like a prune
Where went? - flaming June

The rain outside is keeping me in
I'm afraid it would shrivel my skin
I'd look like a prune
Where went? - flaming June
But July here has been hotter than sin!

But I admit today we have thunder