Limericks 8

Should never have had that glass of wine
My antics now are tomorrow's headline
I stood on my head
Jumped off the bed

Should never have had that glass of wine
My antics now are tomorrow's headline
I stood on my head
Jumped off the bed
Now I'm in A&E with a "don't resuscitate" sign.

Perhaps I will float up to heaven

Perhaps I will float up to heaven
But please, not until I'm hundred and seven

Perhaps I will float up to heaven
But please, not until I'm hundred and seven
There’s still life in me yet

Perhaps I will float up to heaven
But please, not until I'm hundred and seven
There’s still life in me yet
So I'll hop on a jet

Perhaps I will float up to heaven
But please, not until I'm hundred and seven
There’s still life in me yet
So I'll hop on a jet
And fly off to Devon with Kevin

A winsome young lady from Crewe

A winsome young lady from Crewe
Walked down the street, all dressed in blue

A winsome young lady from Crewe
Walked down the street, dressed in blue
She sashayed and pouted

A winsome young lady from Crewe
Walked down the street, dressed in blue
She sashayed and pouted
And all of us shouted

A winsome young lady from Crewe
Walked down the street, dressed in blue
She sashayed and pouted
And all of us shouted
Where are you going, she hadn't a clue!

I once had a dog called Rex

I once had a dog called Rex
Who frolicked around with Tex

I once had a dog called Rex
Who frolicked around with Tex
His paws were both white

I once had a dog called Rex
Who frolicked around with Tex
His paws were both white
And last thing at night

I once had a dog called Rex
Who frolicked around with Tex
His paws were both white
And last thing at night
He made a cat's cradle with flex

There once was a hedgehog called Mikey

There once was a hedgehog called Mikey
He wanted some trainers from Nike

I oncehad a dog called Rex
Who frolicked around with Tex
His paws were both white
And last thing at night,
He would rear up and show us his pecs

My cat is supposed to be white,

There once was a hedgehog called Mikey
He wanted some trainers from Nike
He'd then speed across roads

My cat is supposed to be white,
But really looks rather a fright

There once was a hedgehog called Mikey
He wanted some trainers from Nike
He'd then speed across roads
Avoiding all toads

There once was a hedgehog called Mikey
He wanted some trainers from Nike
He'd then speed across roads
Avoiding all toads
But his survival was highly unlikely

I met a tall man from the West

There once was a hedgehog called Mikey
He wanted some trainers from Nike
He'd then speed across roads
Avoiding all toads
And lorries that would stop him being spiky

Oops! Sorry Bellanonna.

I met a tall man from the West
Who had the most hairy broad chest

I met a tall man from the West
Who had the most hairy broad chest
I fancied him rotten