NUTS !!!!!!!! nickers !!!! and noodles...
That's "knickers" The "k" is silent as in "knackers"! 
any Grandads can stay in the shed in the far corner
Calling all unattached Grandads! Come on chaps, we've been given open slather in that shed whilst the "girls" sing soppy songs around their campfire. And remember, no DHs, partners or other party-poopers have been invited. I'll bring a pack of cards and a case of quality Sth. Aus. Shiraz while one of you brings a crate of full strength beer; none of that "lite" rubbish! We also need one of you to book a stripper; not one from the campfire; someone a bit lot younger. The professionals are good value for money (so I'm told!
) and don't worry about cost as I under stand GNHQ are picking up the tab! Oh! I almost forgot; can someone bring a defibrillator in case someone's heart is not up to it!? All we need now is a date and time for booking the stripper; 8 hours should be enough! See you there! 
Kettle to make lots of tea
(I was going to say knickers - black lace too! But I thought it was a little bit too racy!! 
)
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