Dinner time probs

For Gods sake don't pressure them to 'eat up'. Apart from rampant eating disorders we have an obesity epidemic in this country. Half our problems originate from this situation. Let them eat what they want, then leave the rest. A lot of our weight loss problems are related to portion control, and the subtle pressure to 'eat up'

I can't see why it is a problem - definitely can't see why it is a grandparents problem- unless you have sole, full time care. Just chat to them - eating is a social occasion.

It was the au pair pressurising them to eat that made them cry, and the parents seem to get annoyed by their slow eating, im only there occasionally observing.

Twiceasnice et al, I only get to visit them a couple of times a year, I live in N Ireland. The au pair makes the meal, the parents are both still at work (London) and adults eat later.

Then someone needs to put the au pair straight!

Mcem, its the parents who are complaining, also the au pair who makes their food, I'm just looking for a solution to what they see as a problem.

I am not Retrogran posting re car journey and needing to pee. I spell mine Retr0gran. I only mentioned the eating slow problem as I am an occasional visitor as I live far away, and the parents and au pair are the ones concerned about it. Thank you for all your comments.

Many, many adults wolf their food down and hardly taste it. Fast eating can lead to overeating. Be grateful they are slow eaters.

A little more information in the original post then would have been helpful. I stand by my comments but it appears they should be directed at the au pair /parents.

It seems to.me that Retr0gran has losted twice and had very little help/sympathy either time, yet other posters have lots of sympathy. I don't understand why this is. Yes the advice has been there but the tone has been very critical. A lttle understanding would be nice.

Posted not losted!

pollyperkins - I think Retr0gran got rather unsympathetic replies to her posts because she asked about slow eating children, then went away and didn’t respond for a couple of weeks so some people thought it was a ‘wind-up’ post like another from Retrogran (different poster) about whether to stop the car for a child wanting to pee!

Thanks, polyperkins! In my defence, I couldn't reply then as I was on holiday and travelling with no internet access for about a week, and was using data for only essential things.

As granny, you could ask the children for an honest answer about how kind, or otherwise, the au pair is when no-one else is around.
Children do exaggerate but you could sort out the truth.

Does the problem lie more with the au pair and how they feel about her?

Jalima1108, its not just the au pair, its the parents who get annoyed about the slowness of eating. I'm just backing them up, but also looking for other suggestions, thanks for those you've given here! I could say its better for their digestion and they should let it go, but that might appear as criticism! Like walking on eggshells! Prob best to say nothing.

Life is all rush these days; I feel sorry for children rushed and chivvied from pillar to post as parents both try to juggle work, family and leisure; perhaps remind them of this Retr0gran:

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Ahh One of my favourites and so true.
Only children and retired folk.

Those in between are on spinning in the proverbial hamster wheel

They could be just slow eaters and the more they are chivvied the less likely they are to want to eat.

The au pair and the DP sound as if they are creating problems for the future by making such an issue out of this.

Thanks everyone this has helped a lot. Next time I'm visiting then (if that ever happens....!), I'll not say a word, ie, just chat about their day!