Putting myself on the chopping block ...

Sorry, I can’t keep arguing about all this. This thread isn’t about you or me.

If you want to see something in my wording, then go for it.

This thread has now got nonsensical, so I’m out.🙂

Interesting wording there

VioletSky

Do you believe my story is genuine?

As far as I recall, (and I could have it wrong), you felt your mother to be abusive, so you estranged her and some siblings?

So, as far as you’re concerned, that’s factual. I’ve taken it as true, but, as I say, I could have remembered it wrong.

But, I honestly don’t go on other estrangement forums, so if you’ve been batting back and forth saying that “it brings you joy to get posters here going”, I haven’t seen it.

But, this thread isn’t about you or me anyway.

Do you believe my story is genuine?

VioletSky

Everything the OP has said has been a response to this forum, she posted about us elsewhere after joining gransnet...

This is what concerns me

Is that really the reaction any of us would want another person to have?

I think the OPs story is genuine and don't have any reason to doubt it. It has been shared before, before her reaction to this forum

Well, as she posted about “getting them going”, etc as per I’mnotahypocrite, , I’m not sure what was posted when.

But, fine, if you think it’s genuine, then that’s your opinion.

If others think not, then that’s their opinion.

I don’t know her in real life.🤷‍♀️

Everything the OP has said has been a response to this forum, she posted about us elsewhere after joining gransnet...

This is what concerns me

Is that really the reaction any of us would want another person to have?

I think the OPs story is genuine and don't have any reason to doubt it. It has been shared before, before her reaction to this forum

VioletSky

That's what I am saying DL, we all have opinions but to claim your opinion/perspective to be a "fact" is a step too far

I have always been the only one in this situation willing to apologise and take responsibility for engaging in heated arguments and I've completely healed that part of myself. So given my experiences here (and some of them deeply hurt me at the time) I think that there aren't many of us who can stand in judgement over the OP

Well, obviously, some things are facts. If I said I’m a Londoner, which I am, that’s a fact. It can’t be argued.

But, if a poster posts with their problem, we all take what we do from the post, and advise, according to opinion.

I’m only talking genuine posts here, obviously.

This thread isn’t about you (or me). So, apologies, about past events, are irrelevant. .

It’s just about different people giving different views on the OP.

eddiecat78

VioletSky you seem to be saying that nothing can be factual! My ex-dil claimed I had said things that I hadn't said. This a fact - not just my opinion

I make no comment on your personal situation that is between you and your ex dil

If that's your truth that is your truth but we also do know that memories, especially at times of strong emotions, can be tricky which is why I am not typing "no I am speaking facts".

Perceptions vary

But if I am saying many things that were said at that time deeply hurt me, what reason do you have not to believe me?

AEC Thread support threads

Gransnet at that time advised me to set up our own support only threads because every thread started by adult children descended into an argument. They could have been left alone very easily, they were not, it was chaos. But anyone is able to read them and see who took something from us that I desperately tried to keep supportive and a place that those estranged at older ages could use here

VioletSky you seem to be saying that nothing can be factual! My ex-dil claimed I had said things that I hadn't said. This a fact - not just my opinion

That's what I am saying DL, we all have opinions but to claim your opinion/perspective to be a "fact" is a step too far

I have always been the only one in this situation willing to apologise and take responsibility for engaging in heated arguments and I've completely healed that part of myself. So given my experiences here (and some of them deeply hurt me at the time) I think that there aren't many of us who can stand in judgement over the OP

That’s what forums are. Everyone posts their own perspectives and opinions, and the OP reads and listens to what s/he wants to.

It’s not arguing, it’s opinions. Bit like politics. 🙂

Well, I will continue to share my own thoughts and perspectives and you can continue to disagree Smileless but arguing with me is your choice not mine

Thank you VS but I have plenty of positive relationships so don't need lessons on how to cultivate them.

What I have previously posted as being factual isn't my opinion or perspective, it is fact.

Smileless a fundamental truth is that no one gets to place their opinion or perspective above another's and state that only they speak fact...

This is a helpful thing to understand when it comes to cultivating positive relationships

There seems to be a mix up NotSaghetti I know Mamasperspective isn't a new poster and have said so. I thought you were referring to EllaMayo.

Smileless2012

I must have done NotSpaghetti, where are they because nothing's come up on the GN search?

If you put Mamasperspective into the search box you will see loads of different threads she's commented on - what to buy for a baby, something about mother of the bride/groom outfits, mothers day, time with grandbaby, etc.

The one thread I remember best she was worried about going no contact so it's directly related to this thread.

BUT that said, she is definitely not a new poster.

You are VS, as we all are but that doesn't mean you wont be disagreed with.

It would be so lovely if I were allowed my own opinions from my own perspective

That's what "space" means

that should be 'I must not have done'

I must have done NotSpaghetti, where are they because nothing's come up on the GN search?

eddiecat78

It says a lot about someone's character when they choose to post for the first time just to be unpleasant

I'm sorry you felt my post was unpleasant eddiecat78. I realize it sounded forthright but I take my lead from other posters on this site and call it how I see it

It wasn't her first posting on Gransnet - maybe you didn't notice the other(s)?

Posting for the first time to argue on any separate thread will show a negative facet to a person's character. It not what is said but how it's said.

Well if I'd had such a negative experience on a particular online site, I wouldn't go back. The OP has posted several times on GN since her 'negative experience' and prior to this thread.

I certainly wouldn't go on to goad those who were supposed to be responsible for my negative experience, expecting a "tirade of abuse" and entertaining others on another site with my exploits.

Who is having to fight and argue to be allowed any space here VS?

I find it very strange behaviour TBH.

Well I suppose it sets the standard eddie.