Guilt for going no contact

I don't know if a relationship could ever be solid again even when love remains. We haven't stopped loving our ES but sometimes love simply isn't enough is it.

www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse

We are more inclined to work hard at relationships and often take much more harm than we should (non abusive women anyway) but eventually, push us too far and it is like flicking a switch. It is just gone

I think that is very true VS. I know that I can be pushed a very long way but once someone has pushed too far and lost me that's it, it's gone! I'm not particularly talking Estrangement there, just the meaning in a relationship has gone and doesnt come back. Flicking a switch is a good description

I agree, I struggled on for years, not with particularly good grace, but I was dutiful, I did what was expected of me, and more.
Then something happened, her timing was extraordinary, she pushed me too far when I had a lot going on, which meant nothing, it was all about her.
I said, I never wanted to speak to her again, and I never have.
She did me a massive favour, I was set free.

the meaning in a relationship has gone and doesn't come back that puts it very well Madgran.

I can understand that Sara and sometimes by comparison with what's gone on in the past, the 'straw that breaks the camels back' can seem rather insignificant, but it's that constant drip drip that's taken it's toll, bringing you to the point where enough is enough, and you can't take any more.

Smileless
Absolutely, it did seem trivial. Something I might normally have rolled my eyes about, and moaned a bit.
But her selfishness, her disregard for anything else going on, the accusations they threw at me, which were ridiculous, as you say, last straw.
Probably could have got past it if I didn’t already dislike her so much.

Sara1954

Smileless
Absolutely, it did seem trivial. Something I might normally have rolled my eyes about, and moaned a bit.
But her selfishness, her disregard for anything else going on, the accusations they threw at me, which were ridiculous, as you say, last straw.
Probably could have got past it if I didn’t already dislike her so much.

I suppose there is a sort of positive in that Sara if it acts as a "release" to do what you need to do for your own well being

Madgran
I think so, had it not come to a head I think we would have stayed locked into an awful, dysfunctional relationship, which made neither of us happy.
I don’t think she likes me anymore than I like her, so not a great loss to anyone.

Had things not come to a head for us I'm certain we'd have become "locked into an awful, dysfunctional relationship" you must be so relieved to be free of it Sara, and I can't help but be relieved we were spared it.

Sara1954

Madgran
I think so, had it not come to a head I think we would have stayed locked into an awful, dysfunctional relationship, which made neither of us happy.
I don’t think she likes me anymore than I like her, so not a great loss to anyone.

You do seem comfortable with your decision which is nice to see.

It is nice to see I agree Madgran and Sara's posts always come across that she is comfortable with the decision she made.

Well said

Well say