Estranging all family

Does anyone know if a s or d who has excluded all family, their and their husbands, even extended , all cut out. Its caused so much hurt. All this over a twenty year period. They have their chosen friends, I feel the partner goes along with it because of their children. I started to count how many, then stopped as I couldn't think of anyone not cut off. I feel as if it's my fault as I can feel their hurt, but I have to say I don't know. .