School refuser, advice needed!

My granddaughter was the same, changed schools still didn't want to go so we went down the home school route.She was fortunate to receive help from CAHMS,ended up coming to live with us for a year,attended a college more suited to her needs,she now has an apprenticeship with Tesco,has moved back home and is thriving....

And seek professional help with his education as mentioned by others here. Good luck!

I’m about to go to bed but please look up NEET advice and solutions

I was wondering, how is he with the computer? So much school learning is done this way these days, that maybe his mum could set up some work to do and let him tackle it independently. Then she could come along and ask him about it to keep the communication going.

BBC Bitesize covers KS3 and KS4 and is free. Maybe that's worth a go?

Poor boy. He’s digging himself into a hole isn’t he. Can his mother build on something, anything, that he likes doing? His father may just not want to face the problem he’s created ànd may pull round later, but that’s not much help now.
You don’t say who your daughter is dealing with. Could she go over the head of whoever it is?
Is there a local youth service? Youth workers are very skilled people.
Anything I would say to get him engaging in something without seeming to lose face by complying, wh he obvs isn’t ready to do.

Thank you for all your replies. Personally I believe he is just choosing to be naughty’ simply because he knows his mom isn’t able to do anything about it! I don’t believe he is autistic or adhd but have tried to get her to take him to the gp. He refused to go! She has requested help but all she is getting at the moment are demands for her to show how his home schooling is developing! They said because she chose to go down the home schooling route and he wasn’t actually expelled from school that she is responsible. It was really a matter of her jumping before he was shoved! She felt it was better than him being expelled long term It also means she can’t get funding for him to attend a college now he has turned 14! It’s all such a mess and she seems to be running around in circles and getting nowhere.

Sounds like your daughter needs some support and advice on home schooling. There are a number of organisations she can find online, including HEAS. Your gs does not have to follow the national curriculum closely and with a bit of help, it’s very possible, that he will be able to progress educationally. If during this, it comes to light that he needs some psychological support, I’m sure that would be available too.

I think having your father walk away and not care about you any more is enough to throw any 14 year old boy off track and into rebellion.

Parental rejection is incredibly painful and damaging, no matter how hard the other parent tries.

Sadly, a solution to that is not easy to find.

I agree,*eazybee*,it's neither necessary nor advisable to go down the "mental health problems" route immediately. In my experience this won't be the first time a child is being thoroughly naughty, but that's for the experts to decide not the parent who is often too involved and too desperate to fully assess the situation.

Did something happen to him outside school, to trigger him into not wanting to learn?

Is he very bright?

Does he have an idea of what he would like to do when he is an adult?

I doubt if either of the two schools had time to form much of a relationship with the boy, plus the time he is being home-schooled, or not. His mother should ask for an assessment via their doctor or the Education department. I would not say he has severe mental health problems, a stupid term to use without a diagnosis, but I think his father's desertion has compounded his lack of confidence and anxiety.

Your daughter needs help as well; she is clearly trying to do her best but needs professional support and advice as she is having to cope on her own.

Is there any sign of autism or adhd ? This may help . You need to contact the Sen department at the council and have a chat with the local senco x

sankev
If you are in the UK your DD should contact her local council’s education department. They will have a specialised team to help with these issues.

See the GP and ask for a referral to the Children's psychological service. If there is a long wait, and there may be, then, if you can afford it ask for a referral to a private child phsychological service.

This child obviously has mental health problems and the schools he was at should have picked this up and made the referral themselves. I think it is unlikely that your daughter could be summoned or fined because your DGS is not attending school because the reasons he is absent is so obvious due tto, what I would describe as, severe mental health problems.

He could also be suffering from depression, possibly as the result of the breakdown of his parent's marriage and his fathe has a new partner and clearly has lost interest in him.