Frustrated with parents!!

I know people say I’ve had a full life and don’t mind dying, but if you see the way people are dying in hospital, alone and in agony, on a respirator, no family to hold your hand or say goodbye. Maybe no-one to your funeral. (Apart from the cold hard fact you’d be taking up a hospital bed) for people to say “I’m not going out of my way to protect myself” well, words fail me.

Utterly disgusted with those who continue to flout the guidelines...whether youngsters or elderlies. If they were only putting themselves at risk...we'll so be it.
The message to attempt to get through to them...YOU ARE KILLING PEOPLE.
And if they don't hear it, then I'm afraid that there should be a call to the local police (who, let's face it, don't want to be assuming this 'big brother' role but have no choice.

I’ve just been out for the first time (other than a walk) in a month. I was collecting new born nappies that my son had bought for his sisters baby. Baby was born 8/3 and she was having trouble getting small nappies. He wouldn’t take them to her. I was shocked to see most of the people out in their cars were nearly all elderly. ( I’m 63) There was no reason for them to be out at 10:00am driving on a Sunday morning. My son was cross with me for going out and made me feel bad.

I live alone, very recently bereaved after nearly 50 years of marriage and even before then, never lived on my own.

Just setting my scene

I think the people, be they young or old, or whatever, are being selfish,,
it`s the ME, ME, ME syndrome..

cross infection, infecting others,, prolonging this ...

selfish, in my opinion.. I am struggling.. but I am trying to do what the "experts" consider to be the best at the moment

Where I live, not the Uk, there arent many restricions in place, life seems to be going on as usual wih a few exceptions, over 70,s should be at home, but the shops and chemists are all right to visit, consequently these places are full of over 70,s.There arent really many rules here which annoys me, the shops have JUST started to mark the ONE meter distansing.We can meet neighbours etc in our own gardens not indoors, we then have to sit a meter apart, there seems to be a double message going out here,I wish somebody would put their foot down and make stricter rules! I must add the death toll isnt as bad as anywhere else YET

First of all we are following the rules ,
BUT
Us oldies are from a generation that remembers TB and Polio and typhoid epidemics and how we were expected to carry on with normal life then plus getting out in the fresh air and sunshine was encouraged as a way of staying well .
I am very well aware that viral infections are very different from bacteria ones and may be a little eduction for the oldies in your family would help them accept that this situation is very different .

Gizzy: Please reread geekesse's original post. She states that she goes out for only an hour a day, and then walks where she will see no one. She is following the guidelines, but not taking extreme measures. She says she will not put others at risk by being reckless. Please don't be cross with her.

Your point is that many of us will be carrying the virus and not be aware of it. A valid point: we must practise social distancing, and limit our outings to the essential. Geekesse is doing this.

Her point is that she has come to terms with the knowledge that she is not immortal - she accepts that death is inevitable.
I think she is a brave woman.

No,its not the really young ones,my college age son& university age son& their friends are all so afraid of not having a future that they are all following the rules to the letter and have been since before their education ended.its the older end doing this mostly,surely if theyre not bothered for themselves they could be bothered about putting everyone else at risk? People who have a whole life to live yet,like children& young people? ( news said a 5yr old died yesterday from it!??) How do other countries manage this problem-Italys got more older people??Its possibly just the sheer bloody-mindedness of the British older generation- which helped them in the war- but as said,this is an unseen enemy!!!

Gizzy48

Brilliant post. You have hit the nail on the head!

My dad is the opposite . He is taking it all very seriously and letting me do all of the running around . He will be safe . I on the other hand might be a very different story .

Nan 79
"they are the ones spreading the virus, not us seniors".

Oh. Oh, oh, oh. It only takes ONE contact to infect you. Just visiting family would be enough
The clincher is this 14-day incubation period. You don't know for 2 weeks that you're infectious, so you could still pick it up from one person you were so sure was "safe"

And if you have read the rest of this thread, it should be obvious to you that in many cases it IS seniors who flout the rules. Where I live I have not seen many gatherings since the lock down, though I have seen quite a few pairs of people, with or without children, pass by our house - but they are always distant from others, and very likely from the same family. Exercising their right to exercise (oooh)

We assume that anyone taking 'the car for a run' may not be altogether on line so here are a few thoughts

Ask if you can have a copy of their 'living will' The form is downloadable on line but you can send them the form. Insist you need their instructions on end of life treatment.

Tell them the photos if the thirteen year old boy' coffin being lowered into the ground by strangers in hazmat suits made you cry. It did me.

Send them some information on being fitted with a ventilator. Very u comfortable but I hear that mostly people are sedated first now.

Tell them that you have read somewhere that the Government may start charging for ICU treatment i n some cases/deny ICU treatment to others but you can't remember where you saw it. This is especially effective if they dont like Tories.

Tell them you cant stop crying since the five year old/nurses/retired doctors died.

Tell them my friend's husband died even though he was isolating. The family assume one of them picked up the virus while shopping for him. They are not ill, and not all of them can go to the funeral.

Tell them that life insurance may not pay out in these condirions. Ask for a copy of their Wills

Any one of these thoughts dropped into the conversation should help them to concentrate. Dint try to tell them what to do.

Niucla97, the 'I'll take my chances' brigade (those ignoring the rules) seem to be incapable of understanding that their behaviour is dangerous to others.

You wish there was a hotline - but there is. Their local police might be able to talk some sense into them. Here it's call 101 for non-emergencies.

that is so frustrating, what on earth are their excuses for going out, we have not been told to stay in without good reason, , just do not understand

I know these are most difficult times with all of us trying our best.

Keeping things light-hearted get the police around to give them a telling off. Ask the council to slap an A.S.B.O on them and have them electronically tagged so they are curfewed at home. I am sure your father will be quite annoyed but he will have to comply.
I am only looking for a solution for you and know this could not happen but we must keep all the people at home as much as possible particularly the naughty pensioners.

Where are you Joesoap? Because i thought MOST of other countries now had much more strict rules in place,more than britain even! Its ridiculous! How can they not see its going to last a lot longer,and KILL many more, if they dont stay in? And i think government need to knock the 'excercise allowed' rule on the head too- IF youve got a garden,use that instead- if youve no garden,then exercise INDOORS! HOW HARD CAN IT BE???Open a window or door for fresh air,but what's with the sudden need to go out especially among people who hardly ever bother anyway.

I like to think we are all doing our best to do the right thing.
I am staying in. I know if I get the virus it’s very likely I won’t get a hospital bed. I have had the conversation with my son that in all likelihood I will die alone and it’s alright. I love him and he needs to look after the cat.
Unfortunately not everyone does the right thing but it’s freedom of choice - or selfish if you wish.

Look, I haven’t been within 20 yards of another human being for 14 days. I am making sure, rather more carefully than many of you, that I don’t risk infecting anyone else. But I’m not condemning all of you who have to go for a bit of shopping or walk your dogs in public places. Some of you are making vicious personal attacks on me because I do nothing more than offer a theoretical defence of those who choose to interpret the law in a different way to me. Look to yourselves. If you’ve taken a more responsible attitude than I have, go ahead and bitch at me.

As difficult, boring, frustrating and ‘inconvenient’ it is, we must stick to the requirements. The longer this all goes on, the greater the chances of civil unrest, especially if we get a glorious summer. If civil unrest does ensue, what will the lockdown look like then?

Nannan2 : I am particularly worried about being allowed out for a little bit of exercise which I heard this morning on the radio the government are considering doing. That small slot for exercise is something that even Mental health practitioners are saying is important and for some people is all that is keeping them holding onto to some sanity. One person taking a walk alone and keeping complete social distancing is adequate to stay safe. I do think they should tell couples to walk separately and people to exercise/walk alone.

Even though we are getting papers for my parents every morning and offering to get anything else they need, my parents are still going out as well . They are getting sneaky about it though. They only live a couple of roads away from us and we can see if their car is there when we walk our dog. Invariably it isn’t but they deny going anywhere. We’ve started checking where the valves on their tyres are positioned!

Those stupid people (young and old) are risking other people’s lives!
I wouldn’t hesitate to phone the police if someone I knew was flouting the lockdown rules and going out unnecessarily.
Maybe a visit from the police and the risk of a fine will get through to them?

My DIL is a doctor looking after Covid-19 patients in a London hospital. Aside from the lack of ventilators, the medical staff themselves do not have sufficient suitable protection and are relying on inadequate plastic aprons and ordinary masks. Many of them will contract this virus and some will die.

It’s irresponsible behaviours like this that make me so angry. If you know someone flouting the rules, report them. This isn’t about being a nosy neighbour, it’s about everyone doing their duty and being a responsible citizen!

Give up any idea of controlling your parents. They are adults, if their actions give them the virus and it kills them, it is their fault, not yours.

I am 81 and my husband is 87 and our daughters have insisted that we do not go food shopping even though we are still fit and active. I do feel guilty about the fact that our one daughter is having to get our shopping as well as hers for a family of four. However we are prepared to put up with this as we know they want to keep us safe.

We are fortunate that we live in a retirement apartment with a balcony with nice views of the cathedral and large pool and it is very quiet with very few people about so easy to go for a walk each day. However I would find find it hard to cope if we were stopped from going for walks.

On another note I have a friend who lives in a small village with no amenities and is still driving to the next town to go to the supermarket in spite of neighbours offering to get shopping for them, she is 89 and her husband 91 with ill health. I must admit I do feel appalled by this. Unfortunately her family live a couple of hundred miles away

I heard this morning that 3000 people were in Brockwell Park yesterday and so today Lambeth Council have closed the park. I used to live very close to the park and most of the roads nearby are houses with gardens although there are 3 tower blocks also nearby so I don't understand why so many people needed to go there.

Most of the visitors seemed to be younger people. I wonder whether so much emphasis has been placed on the elderly being more likely to die from the virus that young people don't think that they will catch it.