That Christmas Billy and me went carol singing. We’d done all the old people who lived in Larch Ave and I was ready to go home but Billy wanted to try the detached house at the very end of the road.
He trotted ahead of me up the drive and as soon as we got near the front door I could see that this was some house. There were lights on in all the rooms, spilling out into the dark in a comforting sort of way. In the front room there was a Christmas tree in a red pot with what looked like real candles flickering on the branches. A fire burned in the grate and right in the bay window there was this lady with her baby. She was sitting in a rocking chair and holding the baby up so it could see the lights and the baby was laughing and kicking out its feet. Its arms and legs were all plump and round and the lady was so happy and the room was so cozy that part of me just wanted to stand there and gawp. But Bill wasn’t having any of that. He marched up to the front door and started to sing.
“Away in a manger no crib for a bed, the little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head.” His voice was so sweet and sad and the scene in the window was so loving and warm that it made me think of all those babies out there in war zones and such with nowhere warm and safe to sleep. And then there was Alec who’s so scared of the dark that Mum has to sit by him ‘til he drops off and he still wakes up screaming. And he’ll never learn, not with what’s wrong with him. He’ll never know that it’s all right, that the dark’s nothing to be scared of and in any case you can always switch on the light.
I don’t There’s no point, but all of a sudden I filled up with tears and this time it was me wiping my eyes on my sleeve. Billy sang and sang then knocked on the front door. It wasn’t the loud thump he usually gave but a gentle tap as if the magic of that scene had got to him too.
For a moment I thought the lady hadn’t heard us and was about to tell him to try again. Then the door opened and there she was with the baby in her arms. Behind her the hall was all shadowy and warm and I swear I could smell pine needles and wood smoke.
“That was lovely,” she said. “Thank you. There you are. Happy Christmas.”
“Happy Christmas to you too,” we chorused. Billy’s hand shot out and he palmed the coin she’d given us before I could see it properly, but by the hall light I thought it was a two pounds.
When the door shut behind her, we both felt a bit sad, so I said we’d got to go home and Billy didn’t argue. He didn’t even moan when he had to wait while I raced round Sainsbury’s for mum’s present. Thanks to him we had plenty of money and I bought us some chocolate with what was left over.
It was when we were walking home that I realized, Billy had kept that last coin for himself.
“How much did she give you?” I asked. Billy licked the last of the chocolate off his fingers and rummaged around in his trouser pockets.
“Dunno,” he said puzzled.
“What do you mean? You don’t know? Here give it to me.”
“It’s mine,” he whined.
“It’s ours,” I said. “If it wasn’t for me taking you out you wouldn’t have anything not even that Snicker Bar.”
He handed it over reluctantly and I looked at in the light coming from the 24 7 store. It felt heavy but there was something not right and when I held it up I couldn’t work out what it was meant to be. Part of me thought she’d cheated, given us something foreign, but another part knew that she wouldn’t have done that. Not her, not tonight, not on Christmas Eve.
“We’ll ask Dad when we get in,” I said.
“Well blow me I haven’t seen anything like this in years,” he said when I handed it to him.
“Here’ Jen come and take a look at this, a two and sixpence. Well, well,” he shook his head and grinned. “Where did you two get hold of this?”
“Why?” Is it valuable?” I asked.
“No. I don’t think so. It’s not legal tender any more. They stopped doing these in 1970 something. Before you were born anyway. “
“So she was cheating us then? “ I felt strangely disappointed.
“Who’s that?” Mum asked.
“The lady who gave it to us. The one in the last house on Larch Avenue.” Mum shook her head. “No you’ve got that wrong love. That house isn’t there anymore. It was burnt down one Christmas Eve when me and your Dad were little.” Her voice went a bit strange and then she was hugging us, holding us so close we could hardly breathe. It was like she knew what we’d been doing and why, like she was saying thank you before she’d even be given her present.
But when I looked up into her face I saw it was something else. There was fear in her eyes and in Dad’s voice when he ruffled my hair and muttered something about us being good kids.
It was all so weird, I didn’t have a clue, not ‘til later that year when our Billy was killed in that freak accident by that driver whose lorry went out of control.
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