Home Schooling - Pros and Cons

Maybe, Sago or maybe one-to-one he would flourish?

I have declared before my anxiety about the fact that such children are not checked upon.
I'm sure that most home educators have thought about this carefully, have decided that it is in the best interests of their child, and are doing a good job.
However...it is not the responsibility of anyone to check on the progress of these children, to see if they are safe and well, and such a child has no one to whom they might tell if things are not good in the family.
You might recall the little Asian girl, murdered by her father, with input from her stepmother and uncle. The pathology report suggested that she had been subjected to long term physical abuse.
She was " homeschooled".

Nearly 50 years ago, we seriously considered home-schooling . We joined and spent a lot of time with a group of home-schooling families called "Education Otherwise" to see how it was working out for the parents and their children, both educationally and socially.

I was a fully trained qualified and experienced teacher ( of children and adults); DH's career had had a suprising side-road training graduates in his own profession. He's a natural teacher. Between us, we could (and have) cover a full education from ABC to A level. We had 4 kids under 6, some at opposite ends of educational needs, and the eldest two were in our nearest state school which was not meeting their (polar opposite) needs or my professional expectations.

So, we saw a lot of kids and parents in home education and all but one family were a terrible warning against it. One family had two delightful confident neurodivergent boys, in a remote area, living the kind of outdoors/adventure childhood we envisaged for our kids. At 12 and 13. Mother had just coached them successfully through Common Entrance so they could go to school for the first time ever. They both wanted an academic education in sciences which she had neither the skills or facilities to provide. They also "needed more boys" for their kind of active outdoor activities. They were off to a small boarding school.

Since then, I've encountered another successful home-ed family (4 kids) . They are all happy, independent self-supporting adults who never went to school, in careers ranging from a plumber to a university researcher. Only two home-ed successes. But I've met a lot of weird home-ed parents not providing their kids with the social and educational skills for independent adult life.

Instead of home educating, we moved our kids to a different state school where they thrived. When it came to secondary schooling, I spent a huge amount of time visiting many state and private schools to identify the right one for their varied needs. (I could write a book about that experience). They went to a rural state comp where they had a very happy time in school with excellent social and academic support.

Sara Sharif had been known to Surrey County Council’s children’s services before she was born.
There was a catalogue of errors really.
I don't think you can really blame being home educated as really she wasn't.
She may have been technically home educated but was taken out of school only after the school had seen multiple injuries.

So the abuse was started during her schooling. She was removed and the tragic murder happened in the summer holiday period.

Sara Sharif: Home education check was made at wrong address the day before her murder
Review finds there 'can now be no doubt that Sara's father and stepmother used home education to keep Sara hidden from view in the last weeks of her life'

Council officers attempted to carry out an elective home education visit to Sara Sharif’s home the day before she was murdered, but went to the wrong address despite the school providing the correct one, a review has found.

Ten-year-old Sara was murdered by her father Urfan Sharif and stepmother Beinash Batool in 2023 after two years of abuse. She had been known to Surrey County Council’s children’s services before she was born.

A child safeguarding practice review published this week found there were “clearly several points in Sara’s life, in particular during the last few months, where different actions could and should have been taken” by authorities.

It also suggested a register of all children not in school – planned as part of Labour’s children’s wellbeing and schools bill – “would not have protected Sara”.

^Officers visited wrong address
On April 17, 2023, Sara’s parents informed St Mary’s Primary School in West Byfleet that they wanted her to be home educated.^

The school then completed a referral form which gave the family’s new address to Surrey County Council’s inclusion team to carry out an elective home education visit.

According to the council’s protocol, Sara would remain on the school roll until a home visit was completed to confirm she should be removed within 10 days.

This went beyond Department for Education guidance at the time, which stated that parents did not need to inform schools of their intent to home educate.

But this was delayed multiple times over the next four months, until a visit was attempted, but at the family’s previous address. Council officers realised the mistake once they returned and planned for a further visit to the correct address in September.

Sara was found dead at her home on August 10.

The review said there “can now be no doubt that Sara’s father and stepmother used home education to keep Sara hidden from view in the last weeks of her life”.

Had the proper procedures been followed “it is likely that the abuse of Sara would have come to light,” the review added.

Catalogue of concerns from school
Before this, the school had made multiple enquiries with the council and family with concerns for Sara’s safety.

In 2021, Sara started wearing a hijab to school after a visit to Pakistan.

The review said the headteacher was “proactive in questioning this change” and called home to ask about it. The headteacher was told it was Sara’s choice, as Sara said she had developed a “fascination with the culture and food”.

In June 2022, Sara’s class teacher noticed a bruise under on left eye, which Sara said had been caused by a younger sibling. The school’s designated safeguarding lead believed there was no safeguarding concern, the review said.

That same month, Sara’s parents were told she was working below age-related expectations. Following this, Sara’s father said he wished to home school his daughter.

The review said he “gave various reasons, including concerns about bullying and that Sara had worked well at home during lockdown”.

The headteacher met with Sara’s father and stepmother where she shared concerns about the plan to home school her, but the decision was referred to the council.

As the council delayed its handling of the case over the summer, Sara’s father said he wanted her to return to school in September 2022.

Then in March 2023, Sara was absent from school for two days, which her parents said was due to illness.

But upon her return, the headteacher and designated safeguarding lead “noticed Sara had her scarf pulled down over her face and her demeanour had changed – she was quiet and coy”.

Sara said her sibling had punched her, which caused the headteacher to call her stepmother, where “differing explanations” were given about the bruising.

The headteacher eventually referred to the council’s children services for advice, which resulted in Sara being given a social worker.

Whilst this was a dreadful case and poor Sara had obviously suffered, it really was a case of terrible abuse that was repeatedly missed, manipulative parents and probably overwhelmed staff at school and County.

I feel it's wrong to use this as a "home education" disaster when all the checks had basically failed.

schoolsweek.co.uk/sara-sharif-home-education-check-was-made-at-wrong-address-the-day-before-her-murder/?hl=en-GB

How does a child differentiate between mum the mum and mum the teacher?

What is right for one child may not be for another.

One of my adult children thinks he would have "done better" at a very strict formal school.
Maybe.
He is doing pretty well though with a lovely wife and a business and his student loan paid off...
(I think he may have been behind the bike shed rather too often as he was fairly lazy and chose Leeds for university as it was then known to be a "party city"!)
We cannot live two things at once.

My friend's four children wete in-and-out of school. One didn't go. Two were taken out at different ages, two went flexi time for a while.
One did a year or so at 14 or 15... The oldest decided at 16 to join the local 6th form...

Different needs.
Different developments.

Aveline

How does a child differentiate between mum the mum and mum the teacher?

Do they need to?

I think that children have very different relationships with teachers than they do with their parents. If mum is always 'the teacher's that's pretty chilling really.

I'm not sure "mum is always the teacher"

It could be dad, someone else's mum/dad, a paid professional, a local expert in the field....

It could be a group class at home or elsewhere.
It might be online...

But your primary caregiver is always your 1st "teacher", surely.

A Mum is more than just someone who teaches you how to read etc. especially as children get older they need to be able to rebel or at least put a distance between teacher/mum and outside life.
Could be very claustrophobic.

NotSpaghetti

The point I was making was that any child removed from school or not registered at a school should be a red flag.

I was not using the example as a home ed disaster just highlighting the fact abusers and neglectful parents are likely to go down the home ed route so extra diligence is needed.

Teaching is a skill by itself. It’s not something everyone has. There is a reason people go to school to learn to teach. Additionally, the social interaction with peers is invaluable. Socialization is necessary for all children. Standards by which to judge a child’s academic progress are also necessary to ascertain the aptitude of the pupil. It’s a job to teach children and much planning and organization is needed, same as in a traditional classroom.

Having said all that, if someone has the skill set to teach, has frequent scheduled socialising time for the child, and recognized standards by which to judge academic progress, then homeschooling is not a bad idea. Small learning settings can do wonders for children who need them. Dedicated tutoring without the bullying, insecurity, or overwhelming competition may be very helpful for some. And for those children who are especially gifted academically, learning without being held back by the slower pace of their peers can help them thrive.

Life is not one size fits all. What works for some will not work for others. Homeschooling may be for some, but not for all.

I knew a child who never left his mother’s side until he was sixteen. He had no friends and no social life at all but he was very clever. After sixth form at the local school he went to university.
I thought he would be unable to ever form normal relationships but he married very young and has a very good job.
Home-educated children must have socialisation and there should be checks that extremist parents aren’t failing their children.