Home Schooling - Pros and Cons

Aveline

How does a child differentiate between mum the mum and mum the teacher?

Do they need to?

What is right for one child may not be for another.

One of my adult children thinks he would have "done better" at a very strict formal school.
Maybe.
He is doing pretty well though with a lovely wife and a business and his student loan paid off...
(I think he may have been behind the bike shed rather too often as he was fairly lazy and chose Leeds for university as it was then known to be a "party city"!)
We cannot live two things at once.

My friend's four children wete in-and-out of school. One didn't go. Two were taken out at different ages, two went flexi time for a while.
One did a year or so at 14 or 15... The oldest decided at 16 to join the local 6th form...

Different needs.
Different developments.

How does a child differentiate between mum the mum and mum the teacher?

Sara Sharif had been known to Surrey County Council’s children’s services before she was born.
There was a catalogue of errors really.
I don't think you can really blame being home educated as really she wasn't.
She may have been technically home educated but was taken out of school only after the school had seen multiple injuries.

So the abuse was started during her schooling. She was removed and the tragic murder happened in the summer holiday period.

Sara Sharif: Home education check was made at wrong address the day before her murder
Review finds there 'can now be no doubt that Sara's father and stepmother used home education to keep Sara hidden from view in the last weeks of her life'

Council officers attempted to carry out an elective home education visit to Sara Sharif’s home the day before she was murdered, but went to the wrong address despite the school providing the correct one, a review has found.

Ten-year-old Sara was murdered by her father Urfan Sharif and stepmother Beinash Batool in 2023 after two years of abuse. She had been known to Surrey County Council’s children’s services before she was born.

A child safeguarding practice review published this week found there were “clearly several points in Sara’s life, in particular during the last few months, where different actions could and should have been taken” by authorities.

It also suggested a register of all children not in school – planned as part of Labour’s children’s wellbeing and schools bill – “would not have protected Sara”.

^Officers visited wrong address
On April 17, 2023, Sara’s parents informed St Mary’s Primary School in West Byfleet that they wanted her to be home educated.^

The school then completed a referral form which gave the family’s new address to Surrey County Council’s inclusion team to carry out an elective home education visit.

According to the council’s protocol, Sara would remain on the school roll until a home visit was completed to confirm she should be removed within 10 days.

This went beyond Department for Education guidance at the time, which stated that parents did not need to inform schools of their intent to home educate.

But this was delayed multiple times over the next four months, until a visit was attempted, but at the family’s previous address. Council officers realised the mistake once they returned and planned for a further visit to the correct address in September.

Sara was found dead at her home on August 10.

The review said there “can now be no doubt that Sara’s father and stepmother used home education to keep Sara hidden from view in the last weeks of her life”.

Had the proper procedures been followed “it is likely that the abuse of Sara would have come to light,” the review added.

Catalogue of concerns from school
Before this, the school had made multiple enquiries with the council and family with concerns for Sara’s safety.

In 2021, Sara started wearing a hijab to school after a visit to Pakistan.

The review said the headteacher was “proactive in questioning this change” and called home to ask about it. The headteacher was told it was Sara’s choice, as Sara said she had developed a “fascination with the culture and food”.

In June 2022, Sara’s class teacher noticed a bruise under on left eye, which Sara said had been caused by a younger sibling. The school’s designated safeguarding lead believed there was no safeguarding concern, the review said.

That same month, Sara’s parents were told she was working below age-related expectations. Following this, Sara’s father said he wished to home school his daughter.

The review said he “gave various reasons, including concerns about bullying and that Sara had worked well at home during lockdown”.

The headteacher met with Sara’s father and stepmother where she shared concerns about the plan to home school her, but the decision was referred to the council.

As the council delayed its handling of the case over the summer, Sara’s father said he wanted her to return to school in September 2022.

Then in March 2023, Sara was absent from school for two days, which her parents said was due to illness.

But upon her return, the headteacher and designated safeguarding lead “noticed Sara had her scarf pulled down over her face and her demeanour had changed – she was quiet and coy”.

Sara said her sibling had punched her, which caused the headteacher to call her stepmother, where “differing explanations” were given about the bruising.

The headteacher eventually referred to the council’s children services for advice, which resulted in Sara being given a social worker.

Whilst this was a dreadful case and poor Sara had obviously suffered, it really was a case of terrible abuse that was repeatedly missed, manipulative parents and probably overwhelmed staff at school and County.

I feel it's wrong to use this as a "home education" disaster when all the checks had basically failed.

schoolsweek.co.uk/sara-sharif-home-education-check-was-made-at-wrong-address-the-day-before-her-murder/?hl=en-GB

Nearly 50 years ago, we seriously considered home-schooling . We joined and spent a lot of time with a group of home-schooling families called "Education Otherwise" to see how it was working out for the parents and their children, both educationally and socially.

I was a fully trained qualified and experienced teacher ( of children and adults); DH's career had had a suprising side-road training graduates in his own profession. He's a natural teacher. Between us, we could (and have) cover a full education from ABC to A level. We had 4 kids under 6, some at opposite ends of educational needs, and the eldest two were in our nearest state school which was not meeting their (polar opposite) needs or my professional expectations.

So, we saw a lot of kids and parents in home education and all but one family were a terrible warning against it. One family had two delightful confident neurodivergent boys, in a remote area, living the kind of outdoors/adventure childhood we envisaged for our kids. At 12 and 13. Mother had just coached them successfully through Common Entrance so they could go to school for the first time ever. They both wanted an academic education in sciences which she had neither the skills or facilities to provide. They also "needed more boys" for their kind of active outdoor activities. They were off to a small boarding school.

Since then, I've encountered another successful home-ed family (4 kids) . They are all happy, independent self-supporting adults who never went to school, in careers ranging from a plumber to a university researcher. Only two home-ed successes. But I've met a lot of weird home-ed parents not providing their kids with the social and educational skills for independent adult life.

Instead of home educating, we moved our kids to a different state school where they thrived. When it came to secondary schooling, I spent a huge amount of time visiting many state and private schools to identify the right one for their varied needs. (I could write a book about that experience). They went to a rural state comp where they had a very happy time in school with excellent social and academic support.

I have declared before my anxiety about the fact that such children are not checked upon.
I'm sure that most home educators have thought about this carefully, have decided that it is in the best interests of their child, and are doing a good job.
However...it is not the responsibility of anyone to check on the progress of these children, to see if they are safe and well, and such a child has no one to whom they might tell if things are not good in the family.
You might recall the little Asian girl, murdered by her father, with input from her stepmother and uncle. The pathology report suggested that she had been subjected to long term physical abuse.
She was " homeschooled".

Maybe, Sago or maybe one-to-one he would flourish?

During Covid our 6 year old GD came to live with us for a few weeks as the home schooling was not going well, our daughter was pregnant and working full time from home along with her husband who sometimes does 18 hour days.

My husband did all the academic work in the mornings and the afternoons were baking, crafts,nature walks etc.

We had a lovely time together and thoroughly enjoyed the experience, when she eventually returned to school she was doing well and had gained more confidence particularly in maths.
She still talks about it now as she remembers her walks and the baking.

It was a happy time and I’m glad we were able to do it but it was very much a “honeymoon” period and being 6 she wasn’t stroppy.
If I had to do it now with her 6 year old brother it would probably be a nightmare!

My experience of home schoolers has not filled me with enthusiasm. Yes there are some good examples but school is about more than the national curriculum.

I do believe our primary schools are generally very good. There’s too much emphasis on academic subjects, not enough on learning through play.classes of over thirty with one teacher and no TAs is not appropriate. Inclusion is good but needs resourcing. A class of nine year olds I know had 32 children, one teacher and eight boys with send.

As sago reminds us Sarah Sharrif became home schooled

Newer cons
- now thete are more families doing this you rarely get the museum/gallery space that we were lucky enough to enjoy.
- Colleges have much less "wiggle room" to let your 14 year old take (say) A level photography and GCSE maths alongside their own full time students and instead you have to travel many miles to sit exams in a "centre".
- when your home educated children decide to home educate you keep watching them (!)

I home schooled my son from 11 and it was the best thing I ever did. One caution you do not get any financial assistance from your local authority so you have to pay for all equipment and resources. My son was only offered a place at a school 7 miles away rather than the local school with all his friends, primarily because he was in a wheelchair and the authority would not then upgrade a school preferring to send SEND children out of county.

We were fortunate that we could afford for me not to work. I accessed the Times Educational Supplement every week, was able to use my local university library, purchased computer interactive programmes and paid for him to attend a computer class where he passes his CLAIT exam. Nowadays resources are more easily available online. We also joined Education Otherwise for home schooled children and went on several educational trips with other HE children.which they organised.

The LEA did a yearly check that my son was being taught at home. This is important to make sure children are not sat doing nothing or playing games or being left alone or forced to work for their parents. I had to produce school work that he had done. Of course, there was some flexibility on the subjects we chose to do.

When they are 16 the authority will pay for these children to go to further education colleges. My son did his City and Guild in Gardening.

Tbh it worked for my son and others who maybe would find school difficult for whatever reason. To gain academic qualifications it is more achievable in the school setting.

Cons:
- When your children are out during the school day they are constantly questioned by other people as to why they aren't in school.
- You have to pay for all materials yourself
- Only one of you can work at any one time (years of two of us working longish part-time hours)
- Lots of (extra) driving to clubs, other home educated friends, activities etc
- You never turn off being an educator/facilitator. (I know I still do this sometimes!) You are always aware of potential "learning opportunities"!

It is important to distinguish the difference between good and bad home ed, and good and bad in school ed.

Each have their good and bad.

We home educated from choice nearly 50 years ago.
We never "home-schooled".

What is the purpose of a "school" at home?

We facilitated, encouraged, helped our children grow and flourish.
Over the years I've known maybe 100 home educating families personally.

Of those there were a couple I thought could be doing a better job - but of 100 or so families maybe schools haven't served one or two of them well?

The record of children brought up this way is probably the same as those who went through mainstream education.
Sometimes damage is done within the system and parents are "driven to this" rather than choosing it.
I think there are as many reasons for home education as there are families doing it.

I have a friend whose daughter wanted to home school her child, she couldn’t afford to unless she resigned her job and drew benefits.
So the child is being badly let down by the LA who have failed to provide an appropriate school place, 1 hour a day the child has in education.

I was unhappy with my DDs' education and would have done this myself if I had not been tied up working because my late OH was too unwell to work other than very part time after the age of 42.

DD1 - did OK at primary - very bright. Went to a private girls' secondary where the bitchery had to be seen to be believed. Very bored by all but the music and poetry. Then local sixth form college where she did well as she had choices.

DD2 - primary school was hopeless for her. They did nothing but compare her to her very bright older sister and failed to actually notice that she had a brain but was dyslexic! Secondary was no better - no help for her. Bored to tears.

DD3 - Steiner school till age 7. Tolerated primary after that - but took no joy in it. Secondary - only option was a CofE school with its inevitable indoctrination. She just coasted through, doing what she had to to get the bits of paper - what a waste of childhood!

None felt inspired - which is what education should do.

I always wish I had been able to home ed.

Of about 10 families who I know did this, only one came anywhere close to doing it properly.

Most of the rest were woeful.

Home schooled children get a wider choice of subjects and can choose what exams they take. Or choose n9t to.
What I am saying is that home Ed does not close doors. It gives choice.

Luckygirl3

*However, how would you deal with both further and higher education without the nationwide uniform entrance criteria?*

Home educated children take GCSEs and A levels and enter the tertiary education system and apprenticeships the same as school educated children.

So, clearly, you’re not totally against the formal curriculum because in order to sit these exams these children will have followed said curriculum.

I’m well aware that these children can arrange to sit formal exams.

As you “rubbished” the curriculum I simply wondered if you had any alternatives for those home schooled children who wished to rejoin further and/or higher education?

However, how would you deal with both further and higher education without the nationwide uniform entrance criteria?

Home educated children take GCSEs and A levels and enter the tertiary education system and apprenticeships the same as school educated children.

Homeschooling seems to be talked about more since the Covid lockdowns I have noticed.
Possibly a number of children are being home educated because of anxiety surrounding returning to school, rather than a decision regarding the education itself.
It must be the hardest thing to deal with, seeing your child so distressed and I would hope that there is help for the parents and children dealing with this.

Aveline

I've just checked and we have a very special school, a 'second chance' school for children who couldn't cope with mainstream education for a whole host of reasons. The testimonials are amazing. It really seems to be excellent for more fragile children but I see the fees are £31,000 pa per child. I wonder if local authorities pay for this?

Wouldn’t it be great if they did?
However with budgets being squeezed what would have to be “given” up to fund this.

We have at least two schools like this near me that are LA funded.

My Dil’s DM and step-father live behind it, near the back entrance.

Every single day there are children climbing up on the roof, chucking others bags out of upstairs windows, screaming and swearing in the playground.

It takes amazingly special teachers and Heads to successfully run schools like this and control unacceptable behaviour for children who believe rules don’t apply to them.

Simply “dumping” children who’ve been excluded from other schools due to “poor” behaviour, isn’t really the whole area.

Interestingly though, my DiL’s step-father works in a local boxing gym where these same children are taken once a week and behave so much better there than inside school.

Further afield is another specialised unit where Secondary aged children, who for many many reasons, are not or cannot attend mainstream schools. This “school” spends mornings doing core subjects, maths, English and IT and every afternoon learning some practical trade, these include hair/beauty, mechanics, animal husbandry, the incidents of truancy and poor behaviour are far lower than the school I mentioned earlier.

Whatever the approach though, all children need boundaries, need to feel safe and need to be prepared for adult life (imho).

Sago

I started a thread on this matter some years ago.

I was involved with a family who were home educating their children.

In the very immaculate home there was not a picture, piece of artwork or any evidence of homeschooling.

The kitchen was really only used to prepare cold food (cooking made a mess) and there was no outside play.

We took the children to the beach for the day and they had a wonderful time but then got stressed on the way home they Mummy would be cross because of the messy sand!

There were very many safeguarding issues, I cannot believe they were checked out and signed off.

I did of course take appropriate action but do not know the outcome.

The two children were desperate to have a normal life, friends and school.

I’m sure there are good home educators but any parents that go down this route should be “red flagged” and closely monitored, there is no better way to hide neglect or abuse.
Sara Sharif was a prime example.

I couldn’t agree more!

Luckygirl3

I am very pro home ed. Done well it produces confident well-educated children.

I find the sausage factory one-size-fits-all approach of state schools, especially large ones, quite disturbing and know how damaging it can be to some children.

One of the biggest assets of home ed is that the child is free from the stranglehold of the narrow national curriculum with its emphasis on academic and STEM subjects and absence of cultural input.

I get the danger that a child in a disturbed home will have no external agencies monitoring their safety and well-being. Better input from LA is the answer to that - I wish ......

I know several home educators and they are doing a great job in every way. They should absolutely have the right to do this.

The argument that home educated children do not know how to socialise keeps being raised but is nonsense. Good home educators get together for group sessions and their children are in the ordinary local sports teams and gyms clubs, and Brownies etc.

I have serious reservations about our current education system and applaud those who are brave enough to take on the task of HE when they feel it is right for their child.

I agree, as you’ll see from my post.

However, I do think we also need different types of formal schooling for different types of children at Secondary level.

Isn’t this what AB is attempting to do?

Also, it’s a little ott to completely dismiss our entire educational system, as it does and has worked for many children.

I absolutely agree that children need schooling which matches them, rather than attempting to mould the child to meet the school requirements. However school is about far more than just academic learning. It’s about preparing children for “real life”. In our working and adult lives we have “rules” and “laws”, so whilst I do agree schools need to fit the child attending, there comes a point where children have to learn that in life things are not always going to be “on their terms”. Companies are not going to amend their processes and policies and daily activities to suit every employee.

However, how would you deal with both further and higher education without the nationwide uniform entrance criteria?

Personally I have no issue with our Primary school education system, it works for most children and most schools have good teachers prepared to utilise the national curriculum flexibly.
If I changed anything, I’d change the approach to formal learning and make it slight later in infant education and far more emphasis on learning to play and socialising.

It’s Secondary school where I think we absolutely fail too many children.

I started a thread on this matter some years ago.

I was involved with a family who were home educating their children.

In the very immaculate home there was not a picture, piece of artwork or any evidence of homeschooling.

The kitchen was really only used to prepare cold food (cooking made a mess) and there was no outside play.

We took the children to the beach for the day and they had a wonderful time but then got stressed on the way home they Mummy would be cross because of the messy sand!

There were very many safeguarding issues, I cannot believe they were checked out and signed off.

I did of course take appropriate action but do not know the outcome.

The two children were desperate to have a normal life, friends and school.

I’m sure there are good home educators but any parents that go down this route should be “red flagged” and closely monitored, there is no better way to hide neglect or abuse.
Sara Sharif was a prime example.