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Does this still stress you now?

(77 Posts)
Mollygo Wed 07-Oct-26 11:02:50

New research reveals that the most time-consuming back-to-school task for parents isn't the school run, but planning family meals. According to a survey by Mindful Chef, parents spend the equivalent of 15 working days annually deciding what to cook, adding to the stress of the new school term.

I sometimes find it difficult to decide what we’re going to eat for the week.
Should somebody tell these poor parents that this stress doesn’t get any easier?

Mollygo Fri 09-Oct-26 13:45:51

GG13
I do that too.
Maybe the next call on schools should not be to teach cooking per se, but to teach the art of meal planning for a week and maybe extra classes to help existing parents.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 09-Oct-26 13:42:09

Mollygo

NB
It is the planning or thinking what they’re going to serve, not the actual cooking that the survey says young parents find so stressful.

I think I have always planned meals on autopilot

A brief look in fridge and larder to see what I haven’t got, a whizz round local shops/farmers market to replenish when needs must.

Then a gaze in the fridge/freezer each morning to see what we fancy.

Even with a houseful I never really planned a week ahead, as I never knew what I or the others would fancy.

Mollygo Fri 09-Oct-26 13:26:01

NB
It is the planning or thinking what they’re going to serve, not the actual cooking that the survey says young parents find so stressful.

FranP Fri 09-Oct-26 12:08:33

You can buy EVERYTHING pre-prepped these days, so where is all the stress?? Frozen packs of veg to pull our and pour into the air fryer/microwave/pan
Meat is all pre-prepped, but if you want healthier, it is cubed/diced/minced/in portion packs. It is even delivered with recipe.
Make a 4 week plan and cycle through it.

Hungry?? -used to be fruit or bread and jam, now there is pre-packs of fruit, sultanas, crisps they can help themselves to.

Lunch stress?? make them have a school meal - they are much more child friendly than in my day - never see a cabbage.

We do have so much more choice that my mum did - veg and fruit was only in season. But all year round so no need to think.

CarrotTop Fri 09-Oct-26 12:07:27

Mollygo: I sometimes find it difficult to decide what we’re going to eat for the week. Should somebody tell these poor parents that this stress doesn’t get any easier?

And should somebody else tell them that they have to put some effort into bringing up their kids because everything is hard about bringing up kids! Kids aren't just for the baby shower, they're for life.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 09-Oct-26 12:04:59

I have been pondering over this thread, even when all five of the children were at home and I was working I cannot remember cooking or meal planning being stressful.

I actually find cooking therapeutic when in the kitchen on my own.

When the kitchen is full of friends and family I get a feeling of warmth and all is right with the world.

I have also cooked like a demon in times of emotion, especially after the death of my parents.

I really feel that the kitchen and food is the beating heart of the home and the family 💓

Norah Fri 09-Oct-26 11:59:03

Cooking has never been stressful, I enjoy cooking.

Lilyflower Fri 09-Oct-26 11:48:09

Plan the weekly menu once considering healthy choices and family preferences (without pandering to picky eaters!) and then stick to it.
We still have:-

Monday - fish, chips & peas (I eat five chips only)
Tuesday - curry day
Wednesday - OH has steak/chicken pie and veg and I have soup
Thursday - OH has a variation on cooked breakfast and I have soup
Friday - smoked salmon, prawns and home made bread
Saturday - roast something and veg
- Sunday - salmon, potato wedges, salad/asparagus

You can mix it up within the basic menu but it makes shopping very easy, prevents arguments and makes for little or no waste.

Yes, it is dull and a little OCD but it is a bit like Obama only wearing grey suits. Life is too short to spend time angsting about what to wear.

Maggiemaybe Fri 09-Oct-26 09:58:00

I’m very lucky because after years of my planning and cooking for 5, my DH asked if I’d mind if he took over the cooking when he retired. Would I mind?! To be fair I was always first home when the children were young, so it fell to me. I didn’t find it stressful, but it was mostly boring. Even then he used to make weekend cooked breakfasts and could do a mean Sunday dinner.

These days it’s like having a personal chef. He’s found some great recipes and just cracks on. We do have a Gousto box every fortnight that covers 3 meals as he likes to try new things, but he lets me choose them. smile

If we have a crowd to cater for, eg if we have guests or a family get-together, I still do it, and enjoy it, and I’m still the baker if bread or cakes need making, so I keep my hand in.

monami Fri 09-Oct-26 09:17:26

Spot on, todays people make heavy weather of EVERYTHING

monami Fri 09-Oct-26 09:14:43

They make their own stress, it's so easy to make a meal, why the plans, meat and 2 veg, chops and chips, braised steak etc whats so difficult ? How silly we have become

Taichinan Fri 09-Oct-26 08:45:53

Ferry I remember that exact moment - the day after we came back down to earth after our honeymoon;!! And just now I opened the fridge door and thought oh no not again! What an I going to have for dinner? It's harder now I'm alone because there's nobody else here to come up with a suggestion. Baked potato and baked beans it is then 😉.

MayBee70 Thu 08-Oct-26 23:23:16

I keep scribbling down recipes from instagram. Then not understanding what I’ve written cause I need pictures with recipes. And I keep finding ingredients that I’ve bought for various recipes and not knowing what they’re for confused.

Shazmo24 Thu 08-Oct-26 23:10:20

Its not just back to school parents who stress over what meals to cook. I also stress about it & we're retired!

Juicylucy Thu 08-Oct-26 18:25:34

Mince on Mondays
Chops on Tuesdays
Midweek roast wednesdays
Casserole Thursday
fish chips Friday
My childhood days

Oldnproud Thu 08-Oct-26 17:12:54

It didnt really bother me at much in the past, either when the children were still at home or after, but for the last five years or so I have come to hate it.

It certainly hasnt helped that my OH will no longer eat most of the meals that we used to have, having sensibly cut out red meats, cheese, and countless other things that we used to eat regularly, following a small heart attack a couple of years ago..

I dont mind eating most of the meals that he now eats, but I still want some of our traditional meals some of the time, but I feel guilty if I tell OH that he will have to make his own dinner that day because I am having what I want for a change.

On top of that, our youngest grandchild dislikes most foods, and another family member keeps changing what they can / will eat for (genuine) health reasons. I want to give them all what they want, but I am finding it really hard and stressful to do that now. I used to have them up for a meal quite often, but not any more.

AuntClarasDoorknobs Thu 08-Oct-26 16:59:56

We often have the conversation that Mom never needed to plan different menus. We all eat the same, or went hungry. Sunday was the joint (only real choice of the week , lamb, beef, chicken.) Monday, same thing but cold meat. Tuesday, shepherds/cottage pie. Wednesday Fish and chips (mom worked and bought them home with her) Thursday cheese pie and salads. Friday mixed grill (my favorite). Saturday, pork pie and cake, bread and butter, any other cold stuff. We shopped and visited Gran, so no cooking tea. Then back to Sunday again. Baring special occasions, that was it, week after week. In the 70’s she got much more adventurous, and things got more interesting. But more work!

icanhandthemback Thu 08-Oct-26 16:59:23

Fallingstar

Oh I would love to have staff who could take over the weekly shop and making of meals. I sometimes like cooking but it can get tedious and time consuming.

This is what I intend to spend any significant lottery winnings on. Or should I say my husband’s lottery winnings on as I don’t waste my money.

tripsyG Thu 08-Oct-26 16:52:45

I loathe having to think of meals - but I have developed a strategy that makes the whole process a bit easier. With an A5 notebook open on two pages I write on the left hand side my meals and on the right hand side page I write the ingredients I need to buy. Anything from the fruit and veg aisle is asterisked so I can spot them and not have to go back across the shop later. Anything that is not food gets a C in a circle (don’t ask me why) and then I can spot those items easily and not overlook them. By doing this, I can look in the notebook and see what meals I have bought ingredients for (I used to forget what I had planned). If I am struggling for inspiration sometimes, I can just look back through my notebook for meals we’ve not had for a while. It works for me. It makes my planning and weekly trip to the supermarket so much easier. I also spend less too, as I know I am only buying items I actually need.

Lixy2 Thu 08-Oct-26 16:47:50

I enjoy planning and cooking, always have done.

I wonder if the ‘stress’ comes from trying to ensure that an evening meal is different from the lunchtime school dinner?

I know my GCs sometime have shepherd’s pie/ jacket potatoes/ pasta twice in one day when I cook for them. They haven’t complained yet!

MT62 Thu 08-Oct-26 16:41:44

Stressful enough for us Grans, never mind mums with a few kids, especially if they are fussy eaters 🙄

Erica23 Thu 08-Oct-26 16:35:30

Oh yes it’s so tedious! My first son was a fussy eater and had allergies, my DH likes very plain food, and won’t eat reheated food either.
Nowadays I have a DH that can’t tolerate lots of things, two fussy DGC and another DGC has coeliac disease. I’ve always been the cook since we married 48 years ago.
I think I’ve earned a rest 🤪

Cabbie21 Thu 08-Oct-26 16:08:45

I think it helps to have some sort of routine. Not too fixed, so room for flexibility, but saves starting completely from scratch.

DH was very rigid about his food, but he was diabetic so needed to be. I probably ate more healthily too.

Because I need to go out early some nights, I have started having my main meal in the middle of the day. Then a small sandwich at 5 pm. I am hungry when I get back and don’t want to cook, so this leads to too many carbohydrates- toasted fruit loaf or cheese and biscuits are my favourites.

kittylester Thu 08-Oct-26 15:43:52

I think being organised is the key. I had to be with 5 kids and a very busy husband. And, i think it is now.

I plan a weeks menus before I shop and try to ensure that I have everything I need in the house.

Then Sod and his law kick in and a lot of quick rethinking goes on - as it did when there were 7 of us. But, there are lots of ingredients in the house to work with and we have access to some decent restaurants and take aways.

Batch cooking can save the day too as it did when the children were at home. In fact it is difficult to switch off the mind set of at least doubling up.

And we have frozen Chef Alika (sp) in the freezer too and they can be cooked from frozen.

MarieElla Thu 08-Oct-26 15:41:41

Oreo sounds like you're married to a toddler!
Leave the mess for him to clear up.