Friend hijacks conversations

JenniRen

Oreo

It was a bit of a tongue in cheek comment, but seriously I don’t believe that 50% of the population has it.
Of course some people genuinely have it but there is definitely a bandwagon being jumped on in my view.

If 50% of the population does have ADHD perhaps that is not a disorder at all, and people are being wrongly labelled.
Perhaps we should be looking at the 50% who do not have it, wondering if they are the ones with a problem, being overly introverted.

50% of the population don't have it. That wasn't what I meant. 50% of the population would have been completely disregarded before they realised that women present differently. Now a percentage of that 50% will be assessed with some of them being diagnosed which is why it looks like there is an explosion. Add to that the understanding that just because you aren't jumping around all over the place and awake most of the night, it doesn't mean you don't have it as there are 3 different types of ADHD. People like my son who can't concentrate properly but don't find it difficult to stay in their seats wouldn't have been diagnosed 20 years ago. Now they are because it is recognised that it is their brain that is hyperactive not their bodies. Medicating him has completely transformed his life which would have been helpful when he was studying! .
Under 2% of the population have been clinically diagnosed although experts believe more will actually have it. That is actually a small percentage of the population.

Shell1951😂

She probably feels a bit lonely and needs more social contact than she is actually getting. I have come across this a few times.

We have a woman at our knitting club and if anyone speak over her then she stares at them and tells them that she is speaking and can they wait their turn! It works.

You could be describing my DH! Honestly, if we are in company then it’s him who has to but in and take over the story. I’ve actually said that it’s my friend who I’ve known since 1982. He doesn’t seem to ever take the hint.

Oreo

It was a bit of a tongue in cheek comment, but seriously I don’t believe that 50% of the population has it.
Of course some people genuinely have it but there is definitely a bandwagon being jumped on in my view.

If 50% of the population does have ADHD perhaps that is not a disorder at all, and people are being wrongly labelled.
Perhaps we should be looking at the 50% who do not have it, wondering if they are the ones with a problem, being overly introverted.

Actually several people have said that about her!

Call her out on it. Say, "Yes, you told us," or "Yes, I knew you'd like my idea," or "I just love your sense of humnour..." which would make her ask why, hopefully. If all fails, shout "Stop!"

Perhaps it just needs simple but polite response “ please allow me to finish what I was saying”. Equally you are all adults so just butt in and change the subject or say “0h we haven’t heard your news” indicating to someone else within the group. It may well be that Beryl doesn’t have contact with anyone else so gets carried away but good friends either tolerate or seek to find a solution. It’s not worth loosing a friend over this.

But aren't lots of people programmed from childhood. I know a family where all the adult children (now elderly) thought they were superior to everyone else and spoke down to everyone as if they were stupid. The Pater Familias was like that so they got that off him. Sadly, one of them is now in a position where I would like to connect because we share something but I know her version will be ten times superior to mine so I have left it go.

I often wonder how our friends see us. I think we all have certain idiosyncracies that maybe our friends wouldn’t dare mention. In the circle of friends I once had one woman was a habitual show off, the kind that if you said you had visited Mount Snowdon would being with ‘ah, when we went up a mountain in Peru once with a couple of trusty guides….’, another woman would moan about her husband all the time when we all knew he treated her like the Queen bee, and I was too quiet so they thought I was being funny until I told them I was an introvert and made an effort to join in more.

Oreo

It was a bit of a tongue in cheek comment, but seriously I don’t believe that 50% of the population has it.
Of course some people genuinely have it but there is definitely a bandwagon being jumped on in my view.

I did not say 50% of the population had ADHD; only 1.19% have a recorded diagnosis although it is thought to be actually somewhere between 3 and 5 percent of the population who suffer. However 50.75 percent of the population are female and up until recently, females weren't considered to have it as they presented differently as they do with ASD, heart attacks and many other ailments. Now women are being put forward for diagnosis, there are far more people as recognised as having it.
You may think you are being tongue in cheek but the reality is that this is the sort of comment being spouted by a lot of people including the media. People wouldn't make this sort of comment about somebody who say had had a stroke so they were perhaps compromised by the part of the brain which deals with language and ADHD is something that compromises the brain so it is brings its own difficulties.

So maybe Beryl does have it.

It was a bit of a tongue in cheek comment, but seriously I don’t believe that 50% of the population has it.
Of course some people genuinely have it but there is definitely a bandwagon being jumped on in my view.

Oreo

Maybe she has ADHD…the rest of the country seems to have it.

That is quite a derogatory comment especially to those who have ADHD. There isn't an explosion of ADHD, there is an explosion of diagnoses because we now recognise how 50% of the population display it whilst previously it was almost solely something recognised in males. Women who have felt unheard for years really don't need comments like yours to make them feel like they are somehow climbing on the band wagon.
As for ADHD being an explanation, it is quite possible if the friend has always been like this. I know I can be guilty of this but I am honest about my faults and ask my friends to tell me if I do this. I don't take umbrage, I just apologise and take a back seat for a while. I find it difficult to keep my mouth shut so I fidget a bit more but I'd sooner not make my company tiring for people.

I tend to do this as I have ADHD, my friends have all been given my permission to tell me to shut the f up

That's the trouble with groups.......they are childish.

Shel1951

Cut in and change the subject.

Exactly…….I think you need to take the bull by the horns and speak up the next time Beryl ‘holds court’! Things like……’Beryl, do stop butting in’ or ‘Beryl, will you just let me finish before you hijack the conversation’ or you could be very blunt and tell Beryl to STFU!

Perhaps just say, "Can I finish my story please?" when she butts in.

In the end there’s no easy answer to your problem OP if you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

People who live on their own often tend to talk a lot in company which is understandable.
People who don’t live on their own often tend to as well.My DD’s can talk the hind leg off a donkey and so can Mum, whereas I tend to listen more.

We have a name for people like this ….. Elevenereef (one better than Tenerife!!!)

Maybe she has ADHD…the rest of the country seems to have it.

yogitree

I've had it with Beryl and I don't even know her. Time to be forceful.

😂

I've had it with Beryl and I don't even know her. Time to be forceful.