Patronising or what!?

Having been patronised quite a lot in my younger days, any such behaviour now is really like water off the proverbial. In fact, I tend to see the benefits rather than let it affect my mood. If someone else can do stuff for me because they assume I'm too weak/ditzy/stupid why not let them.
I haven't yet been treated like a little old lady but when that does happen I shall definitely make the most of it!

You're talking to my driver! - love that!

There's a difference between being offered help and being ignored and you were ignored Luckygirl3, that's not acceptable. I;d probably have quipped. "excuse me I'm the patient, you are talking to my driver" It would have made DD laugh!

I am happy to receive help gracefully and with gratitude.

What I did not like was someone assuming in advance that I could not use a tablet and addressing my DD to ask her to help me with it!

I was struggling with a heavy suitcase on a flight of steps on the Paris Metro. A young woman stepped forward and asked if I needed help. I accepted her help and in poor French thanked her for her kindness. I'm always extremely grateful to people who offer help, even if i don't need it. IMO kindness should be rewarded with a smile and some gratitude even if it is misguided or comes over as patronising, it's much nicer to refuse help in a friendly way than be snappy as the person after you might need that help and not be offered it because of how you have reacted.

I too am in my eighties and I must say that I'm grateful for anything that somebody does to help me. I always thank them with a big smile. I then go home feeling happy.

There are a lot of older people out there completely non tech savvy. Some can hardly use a mobile phone only using it to receive and make phone calls. So the rest of us have to suffer being patronised by people who think they are being helpful. That’s no excuse however for not talking direct to a person.

I'm another one, in my eighties, who used a computer at work.
My new window cleaner asked me how I would prefer to pay and was I able to use the internet.
I just smiled to myself and answered, by Bank transfer.

There are a lot of us here who are quite rude.
Why?
Just because someone is sounding a bit patronising (probably unintentionally) why would anyone be so full of venom?
Surely it's better to acknowledge their "error" and help them learn/realise that older people do often have the required skills etc? Spend a moment to chat to them about it maybe?

Why are people so cross and angry?

Redhead56

Arrogant little prick he would be sorry he opened his mouth. Talking to a customer who he considered not capable of dealing with technology. He would regret every word he said if it was aimed at me.

Blimey ….

I think that it is possible that some younger people do not realise that tech was part of our working lives latterly. I would have been a bit stuck with my final job in a media company if I had not been able to use a computer!

Arrogant little prick he would be sorry he opened his mouth. Talking to a customer who he considered not capable of dealing with technology. He would regret every word he said if it was aimed at me.

A little bit different but my 12 year old Granddaughter asked me today 'Why are you texting like an old person, Grannie.... I am 80 !

I was struggling with my older phone getting it to access their unhelpful wifi. My phone was taken from me and told it is easy, a very simple system.

My reply? If your wifi worked, it would be easy - but thank you, I designed and built it.

Dear God Estrellita I would have whipped my phone back and left saying something along the lines of "and fools like you lose business" But I may have replaced the word fools with something rather rude.

Luckygirl...lol. I guess this is coming for all of us...;)

There’s a fine line between kind and considerate and patronising.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I worked with a woman who used an electric wheelchair. She was very IT literate and had perfected the comeback "It's the legs that don't work - not the brain", delivered in a sharpish manner..! I watched young men shuffle away when she said it...!!!

Parky

For goodness sake. I have no idea how old posters are, but offers of assistance from people is a politeness not an insult. Maybe someone would be grateful for such an offer, nothing to do with age, just courteous behaviour. Manners are important. A thank you doesn't hurt you

She did not offer me assistance but asked my DD to help me on the groundless assumption that I did not know how to do it. Had she simply offered to help me I would have said - thank you but I am able to do this.

SuzyG

Agree.. am so fed up with being patronised now I'm older. I know they are probably only trying to be kind but it is still annoying

I'm never annoyed, fed up or offended by someone trying to be kind

It works both ways doesn’t it ? I act dumb sometimes because I can’t be stuffed doing things myself e.g. at airports messing around checking in my own luggage , weighing it etc.

I took my phone to be repaired recently. The man in the shop said to me "old ladies like yourself don't understand technology". And he didn't fix my phone so I had to go somewhere else!

Back when I was in my seventies I remember being shocked the first time someone offered me their seat on the train. Now I’m just grateful if someone does!

One time I was having trouble with a badly designed website which just kept taking me round in circles. My nephew (who is a techie) could not get it to work either.

I asked him "If I who have a Ph.D cant do this how do stupid people manage?"

He said they just find someone to whinge to and do it for them.

I'm left-handed, and some years ago, aged 23, I had to fill in a physical form for a job interview in front of the interviewer. Started writing with my left hand. I hold my hand and pen as normal, not "upside down" or screwy or anything, and he said 'I'm right-handed; would you like me to fill it in for you?'' As if I were a 1-year-old with no brain of my own!

I literally threw the form and pen at him and walked out!