Good morning Micheal and all GN's on a very dark and , as far as I can tell ,still morning in North Yorkshire. Cant even see any smidgen of an outline anywhere. When I dont sleep well and am up very early, the sight of dawn cheers me up and I enjoy watching the light touching the tree etc. So of course this time of year is not good, especially as despite the good weather recently, I cant pretend that autumn which I love, but then winter cold will be following it, and there aint owt I can do to stop it, as King Canute would say!
Well I am in a reasonable mood considering that I have had so little sleep and my wretched body clock seems to have gone haywire, and I am unable to do much about it at the moment. I get annoyed with myself when it all goes wrong, and I cannot seem to do anything to alter it whatever I do. You would think I would have learnt to just accept it and shrug my shoulders but I still try to change things. Once again after a busy day I planned to sit down and watch Downton Abbey, as a pleasure and a calming down ready for bed, instead of looking at things that can set me worrying too much. Just saw about 5 minutes and the next thing is it is 1.30am and I have missed it all, have been asleep in the chair, with my legs on the floor and my back and neck hurting from the position I am in. Then of course, whatever you do, to go to bed you have to move and then are wide awake and cant get back to sleep!! Grr! I did all that I could to try and ease things and dozed a bit but by 4.20am I gave it us as a bad job, and so am up and dressed and poised to get off to the supermarket when I have finished this and my coffee. Want to get my local paper , firstly to check on what is happening around here and then I can make a decision about what I hope to do on saturday, that will lead on to decisions about what shopping I need etc.
I am definitely into the "get things sorted" mode , which is my september start of the school year normal thing. Despite being retired I think I retain that habit of looking at many things at this time of year. Checking paperwork and things like car insurance etc, remembering to see if my driving licence photo is up to date, and looking to see what the calendar has already got on it to decide which if any of the courses that tend to begin now I might join.
So yesterday, I had done a bit of sorting out, but I was really struggling physically, which is very frustrating , when I am in the get up and go mode but my bodies union seems to be on strike and is reluctant to move at the speed I want it to. I was pleased to have done a few things, but everywhere was irritating me as it all looked so untidy and I wasnt able to do much about it, other than sorting out the mountain of ironing that needs to be attacked when it is miserable outside.
I had the meeting at the womens group to go to, and wasnt sure what they were planning to do, and my pain level was such that I was in two minds whether to go or not. However I got myself going, hung all the washing out - with difficulty- they have recently put new washing lines up. Very good as the old ones were sagging and getting tatty. However on a day like yesterday, even going down there on the trusty yp, I really struggled to get the duvet cover over the line, which was very taut and it took me several goes to get it up and pegged. Then I got back to the flat and hurriedly tidied myself up, and no time to even get washed up, set off for the meeting.
There is a locked door which I can ring the bell and get someone to let me in, so that I can leave the yellow peril safely in an area and locked and then go up in the lift. So hobbled in and joined the group. They were doing some craft things and making some pompoms which I gather are probably for decorations for that time in December (which for me is only to be spoken about after bonfire night!) Well I enjoy art and various craft things that make something that I consider useful or beautiful, but I am afraid that the pompoms do not come into that category for me, so was quite happy to have a coffee and join in the discussion about what we might try to do in the coming weeks.
The small amount of money that was a basis for the group has come to an end and has been allocated elsewhere so now we must pay for whatever we do ourselves. This is a council decision, and whilst I understand their need to use money wisely, I really do feel that again they are looking only at the short term and obvious benefits. The group is run by volunteers and we all take our turn in helping out, so there is not a lot of money spent. However the total ethos of the group is that any woman of any age or any situation, whether it is a newcomer to the area, who knows no one, a mum with children at school, a pensioner, someone from the womens refuge or living alone with no local friends. All are welcome, and find a weekly place to come and lighten the worries in life. We learn about lots of different things from, speakers ranging from the hearing dogs to a speaker we have coming in a couple of weeks about AI and safety issues. So besides that once a week meeting, between the many and varied women who come, there will be someone who has been in your position in the past, or is an ex civil servant or in my case, I am happy to look at forms people have received - mostly government types - which are of course written to cover their backs and not to be clear and easily understood english for the reader. English is a wonderful language for its variety and different ways it can be used, but that also means that even a sentence can be read in 3 different ways, which will affect your answer. As far as I personally know, most people are honest and wish to fill them in correctly, but can become very worried in case they misunderstand the meaning and put in a wrong answer, which might mean having to refill 10 page document in all over again and delay things. So our group provides informal help, can direct people to the place that they need to go, and this indirectly also helps the NHS. When you live alone and are worried about something and dont see how to solve things, this can lead into depression and anxiety , and a downward spiral where you dont see how to proceed. This is the great thing about the group, that it doesnt matter if a person speaks about a problem or not, they feel that there is somewhere that they can go for advice and help. If we cannot keep the group going I think it is going to be a great loss for many people and the other thing that is useful is that if there is something happening in the town, such as the paths being dug up and not replaced properly by zoom, we can make a list of all the problem roads and paths and then approach the council and try to get something done, before there is a costly accident. We really are a hub, and with the weather getting colder, just knowing that you can come to a warm place for a couple of hours is another good point.
I hadnt been there long when I had a message from my cleaners to say could they come earlier as they had had a cancellation. As I was desperate to get things sorted and also needed to ask them to do various things I needed doing especially, I had to shoot off and get home, and they were already there. I had to sit and think of what I had made a list of and other bits and pieces I had thought of, such as of course opening a beetroot jar, which I had fought with for some time to my annoyance ! Anyway they were a whirlwind of sorting and cleaning and hurray getting all those bits and spoons and a knife which had fallen to the floor and my grabber just would not pick up. So I shot off and retrieved my by now, clean and dry washing, and so was somewhat shattered but pleased to be sat in a clean and tidy home with the bliss of clean bedding to enjoy after my shower. Ah if I win the lottery (fat chance!) I shall have clean linen sheets put on every day and someone else can iron them so that that lovely feeling sliding into bed will be a daily bliss with the smell of washing dried outside. Ah not everything that is lovely costs the earth does it?
Today I have to get off early to get a few bits and of course the paper, then it is off to Bocca at the library, which I do intend to try and go regularly to. It is at least some form of exercise - doesnt compare to my lovely savage squash playing in the past - and the people are pleasant. Then home for a quick lunch and a few jobs before getting off to the doctors for 3pm, which is for my annual diabetes check up, and then later this month I have my eye check up at specsavers which is related to the diabetes things. It is something I do get stressed up about, as there is nothing I can do, but wait for them to tell me if my eyesight is still ok to drive with. I have no real worries on that score, and am not so stupid or selfish that if I noticed some problems , I would continue to drive without a check up; but you just have no idea. I have had one check up where I thought I was fine and they said I needed new glasses and a later one, where I thought they might say I needed a change and they didnt need anything doing, just slightly altering the frame angle so who knows? My driving is so important to me at the moment, especially when my back is very bad. It is that freedom to get about at my own pace. Trying to stand waiting at a bus stop or taking for ever and a day to walk down for a loaf of bread is hard, so thank goodness for the yellow peril, which is keeping me independant if windblown so far!
Well hope the fish and chips are good today Mike and you have a pleasant trip out. Hope you have a lovely day with the boys Bellasnana, and can you make a plan to meet a friend or go to an exhibition on the day they start school, as something to look forward to for yourself to counteract that missing them feeling? Whilst you are still lucky enough to have lovely weather you could perhaps go off for a picnic somewhere. I love the early autumn times and have my box of tricks in the car so that I can take a sandwich etc if I have planned it, but also have plates and so forth with me so can buy some fish and chips and go up on the moors and enjoy them there with a lovely view of the purple heather. I even keep a bottle of vinegar in the car for such occasions.!
Well wishing all GN.s a pleasant day and a chance to make the most of the autumn days. I shall be watching out for a good conker or two, used to be quite a conker queen in the past. Sadly not many people my age seem to play that any more!!
