Ah dear - why does getting older equate to diminished brain power?

At the moment DH has a palliative care nurse on the phone and visiting. Sadly she sounds like my sis in law who I really don't like. So I have to grit my teeth. And she is one of the ones with the awww bless replies. I dont think DH hears it thank goodness.

Sorry ferry. Hijacked your thread.

I meant to be complimentary about you😀

Being fed up about my knee and lack of walking I phoned up the number mentioned on the saga website about local exercise classes for knees and hips. The lady I spoke to was lovely. She told me her name, told me about her husbands successful knee operation and was generally cheerful, friendly and helpful. I still haven’t found a class I can go to and still can’t walk very well but the way she spoke to me made me feel so much better and I’ve been feeling happier ever since. I guess that, getting older is much the same as the way people talk differently to eg people in wheelchairs.

Thank you Lathyrus.

The books sound interesting, thanks I shall do some downloading. 😊

Afraid I think it rather hard to blame Lucy.
You sound well able to identify activities for yourself.

winterwhite

Afraid I think it rather hard to blame Lucy.
You sound well able to identify activities for yourself.

Sorry, I don't understand your post.

Blaming her for what? And yes, if I wanted to, and if I could get out of the house, I could source activities. I never said I couldn't. I'm afraid you've lost me.

Sorry if I misunderstood you. I thought you were blaming Lucy for not treating you appropriately. Criticising may have been a better word.

I hope you get rid of the compression bandages soon.

I understand where you are coming from.
Dreadful how we are treated as we age and have health issues. I hope your leg improves very soon and you can return to your life as you wish too. 💐💐

I wonder if all the lovely ladies on here, with a leg wound, may have considered that they have a reaction or allergy to the medicine/cream they give you. I had the same, but mine cleared up, after I stopped the creams and dressings. I used plain antiseptic wipes, that I used every day, and sensitive skin dressings. A friend had good results from natural, not supermarket, honey on her wound. If you can find somebody with bee hives.

I certainly know where you are coming from!

I live in an area where anyone over retirement age who is trying to make new friends , as I am, can only find well-meaning activities for the 70+ age group that assumes we have the mental acuity of a child of three, have spent all our
school-days staring out the window, and all our working lives doing some mindless task that called for severely limited motor skills.

We are likewise supposed to be uninterested in attending church, going to concerts or the theatre or to various talks and lectures, as we can go to them all right, but we cannot get home again, as there is no public transport after 9 p. m. on weekdays, or before 10 a,m, on Sundays at Christmas or Easter.

Now what makes the municipal planners believe that a section of the general public that they deem to be mentally at the same stage as a not particularly intelligent nursery school child, is still able to drive a car?

sandelf

I do understand but at least they are offering some sort of help/advice. We (DH and I) have recently come into the orbit of 'Crisis Support' - no previous experience of this area (HD suddenly and very seriously ill). Met many knowledgeable and helpful MH workers - yes some very young, heavily tattooed, etc etc. Everyone has been expert - as well as kind and patient. I think they are a bit surprised that we really appreciate all they are doing and try to use their advice and help. So I hope something useful comes of your contact and 3 cheers for those who try to help, even when they are from a different age and area.

Yes yes and yes

I agree an older advisor is usually better, but I've met some exceptional young people in that or similar roles.

A good advisor is an empathetic listener, is able to gauge whether you need endless suggestions or more like personal support for a period of time.

Ye gods was I fed up with a worker who endlessly suggested this or that despite knowing I was quite capable of following leads up and if they would work for me.

I demanded a change and got one but explained why, as some people genuinely needed her direct advice and specifics. Her over anxiety at wanting to make "everything all-right" in a hurry.

Some grasp that you cannot equate being articulate with being well: others miss that point entirely.

all the best with some of these suggestions above x

Auntie E: What a hoot!!! I was in hospital in May and had to tell the consultant that it was my body that was disintegrating and not my brain!! Afterwards, the staff nurse came over and congratulated me!!

I'm shocked that we have people walking around whose wounds cannot be healed; 1 didn't know that. Is there any way, FERRY 23, that you could find more research on this topic, or seek out a top specialist?
How is it that trillions are spent on sending astronauts in to space, when there seems to be no viable research that would be an effective cure for you?
I'm with you. I too really hate being patronised.

Yes, I too would be aggravated by some younger people’s assumptions and manner of address. Doesn’t matter what you say to them the response is invariably, “Aww.bless”. It reveals their own poverty of intellect that they have nothing intelligent to say in reply.
I’m very sorry about your leg. The compression stocking must be a real bind. Please forgive the pun! As for getting out and about, have you investigated the use of a mobility scooter? There are many different types and you can purchase online. I wouldn’t be without one now!

It is very annoying to be treated like a child. A few years ago I was admitted to hospital as an emergency with a perforated appendix. One of the young doctors asked me what I used to do and when I told him I had been a judge there was a marked change in how I was treated. It shouldn’t have made any difference though.
Sadly it didn’t continue when I was put on a ward.

I’m so sorry the compression garment has brought you down so much, but can understand.
The late Queen Mother’s legs were ulcerated and bandaged, but of course she had taken to drink years before so I’m not suggesting that for you😁

My left hand is very painful with arthritis at the moment and one thing can make life a drag. I’m glad it’s not my right as I draw and paint, but who knows what lies ahead?
Ageing is not for cissies as they say and I hope things improve for you.💐

I so understand this.
I have to keep reminding my daughter and it drives me potty

I so understand how you feel.WE are the sixties babes .
I have to keep reminding my daughter and it drives me potty.
I do hope you can overcome this situation you find yourself in

Its when they refer to me as “lovely” or “dear “.

I used to visit this lovely old man I knew in an old peoples' home for retired professionals. He was a retired GP and the other residents had all had responsible jobs. He told me he had intermittent nominal aphasia but most of time he was perfectly articulate. Some of the care assistants were awful and patronised and spoke down to the residents, one of them said "Standy up sunshine" to him when she was helping him out of a chair. The lady in charge organised activities for them which included making things with bits of cut out leather and painting by numbers. My friend had a CD player and he liked to listen to Bach and Handel but one of the carers decided this music was too dreary so she brought in a CD of songs from the shows and she used to remove whatever he had playing and play her CD.

You have my sympathy having to wear a compression garment, especially in this weather.

I was going to make a similar point to semperfidelis

Rather than concentrating on tactics to make the awful compression stockings more tolerable, have you explored every avenue to getting your wounded to heal properly?

You are a well educated woman who presumably has held down a number of professional jobs , so maybe you have the wherewithal to investigate the private sector, where you may well find consultants at the top of their game, one of whom could help you?

We all know that these days we have to be pro-active with managing our health, rather than just accepting what’s on offer.

Of course you may well have done all this.

ferry23 I’m sorry that you are feeling low at the moment and unable to get out. I know what that’s like. I also hate the feeling of being talked down to by some, well meaning, clinicians. Even my DGD thinks I’m an old duffer ( see my previous post) but she’s only eight so can be forgiven.
If you’re unable to get out I wonder if you might consider starting an interest group in your home, something like local history, or a book club or a discussion group where you discuss items in the news or other topics of interest. Of course you will need to find a way to make sure attendees are genuine. Perhaps contact the local WI or church group explaining that you are housebound at present. Does your town/village have an electronic message board where you could advertise it, or could your lovely nurse put a notice up for you in a local shop. You might be surprised by the interest you get.

JenniferEccles

I was going to make a similar point to semperfidelis

Rather than concentrating on tactics to make the awful compression stockings more tolerable, have you explored every avenue to getting your wounded to heal properly?

You are a well educated woman who presumably has held down a number of professional jobs , so maybe you have the wherewithal to investigate the private sector, where you may well find consultants at the top of their game, one of whom could help you?

We all know that these days we have to be pro-active with managing our health, rather than just accepting what’s on offer.

Of course you may well have done all this.

Yes, I have

I also see a private lymphoedema nurse every six weeks or so and she is very proactive in new treatment regimes.

I have however been referred for a 2nd time to the vascular unit by my GP. The specialist nurses at the wound clinic and the private nurse are a bit bemused as to why as the wound is what they term as "superficial" and is healing, albeit at a snail's pace. The pressure readings in my leg are ok. I suspect my GP was at a bit of a loss as to what to do with me! I shall be taking the opportunity again, to explore any potential alternative treatments. I've checked and the Consultants at the NHS hospital vascular unit are those who practice at the two nearest private hospitals.

There are those, myself included, who find any form of compression virtually intolerable. It's honestly difficult to articulate and emphasise enough how much it affects my life. I am conscious of it pretty much 24/7 and can only sleep in bursts of maybe one and half to three hours at most. I'm sitting here right now in this oppressive heat with three layers of heavy bandaging interspersed with cotton wool wadding and a yellow line tubular over the top of it all. From toes to knee. It's like dragging a house brick around. It compacts around my ankle and digs into my skin. It aggravates the skin on my foot. It's tight and uncomfortable. I've spent a small fortune on shoes that will go over it, but of course the shoe for the other foot is 2 sizes too big. Because I have arthritis in my spine and my fingers I have to be sure I can reach any fixings on shoes. It's dangerous for me to drive with ill fitting footwear and sometimes it's difficult for me to flex my ankle.

I seem to spend a lot of time complaining and I hate it!

Just a thought, but the Royal Volunteer Service provides transport services for social clubs, medical appointments, shopping etc. Would that be something that might help? Have a look online to see if it operates in your local area.