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Adult children and worrying

(34 Posts)
Slimswim Tue 28-Jul-26 18:02:26

Do we ever stop worrying about our children even when they are adults (middle aged)? Our eldest has always had us worrying over the years and now just as we thought everything was okay there’s worry again with the threat of being made redundant. I’m sure we’re not the only ones but sometimes it feels like we are.

BlueBelle Tue 28-Jul-26 18:07:41

No of course we never stop worrying about them it’s called love whatever age they are

MissAdventure Tue 28-Jul-26 18:08:14

I worry about my grandson being out in his car.
If i hear a siren, my stomach lurches, but I'm confident that a good enough job has been done that he'll cope with problems, (even if they're of his own making)

Fairislecable Tue 28-Jul-26 18:13:50

I have 4 adult children and find that with the ups and downs of life I feel they are sorted and then one of them ‘jumps out of the box ‘ I have mentally put them in!

A friend pointed out to me: you are only as happy as your unhappiest child.

I hope that this is just a hiccup and with a loving family you can all help each other.

tanith Tue 28-Jul-26 18:42:33

I worry about my 3 they are at the back of my mind regularly, I also worry about my Grandchildren one has just been made redundant, one diagnosed with ME I could go on and on. Its family love and I'm now the only elder still alive the one they ask for advice so I feel that responsibility every day.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 28-Jul-26 18:50:29

I have never stopped worrying about our five.

If you love, you worry 🤷‍♀️

Fallingstar Tue 28-Jul-26 19:00:57

I worry about my two DDs, SiLs, GCs, and a lot about my DS in Australia who hardly ever calls and hasn’t visited for years, we used to go there but because of my DH’s disabilities we can no longer make the journey. He hardly ever contacts his sisters either.

M0nica Tue 28-Jul-26 19:03:58

I do not worry about them. I just love them and care about them

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Tue 28-Jul-26 19:11:41

I try not to worry. They’re sensible. Just 🤞crossed really.

As my late darling mum used to say “Let them go. Let them make their own mistakes. Just be a safety net in case they need one.”

Wise old bird, my mum.

Lathyrus3 Tue 28-Jul-26 19:21:54

I occasionally worry about things that nobody can control like serious illness when they have to have tests. When I start thinking about our genetic problems.

I don’t worry about jobs or relationships or stuff that is just life. I’m pretty confident they can make good decisions and get things sorted if needed.

They seem to have all turned into competent adults 😬

Iam64 Tue 28-Jul-26 19:23:42

I’m with you FGT. I remember watching my daughters and sons in law bring nth no up their children, relaxing and realising that my work here was done. I’m emergency grannie and delighted my grandchildren are always pleased to be abandoned here when they’re ill or their parents need some support

MayBee70 Tue 28-Jul-26 19:25:18

Yes. My son had a health check up via work and something was red flagged. A condition that is totally reversible with a change of diet but he won’t take any advice from me and I don’t want to be seen as the interfering mother in law. I’m really worried about it sad.

Retread Tue 28-Jul-26 19:36:09

It's not just about choices or mistakes though, is it?

It's an adult child diagnosed with a serious illness; or infertility; or divorce; worklessness; an accident or some other major life event.

I congratulated a friend on the birth of his 4th grandchikd recently, and he replied "One more to worry about".

Slimswim you're not alone.

MT62 Tue 28-Jul-26 19:41:28

I don’t have children. None to make me laugh, none to make me cry as the saying goes.
But that said, I worry a lot about my step daughter (stroke whilst pregnant), grandchild, niece’s & nephews, who do make me laugh & sometimes cry 😢

Madgran77 Tue 28-Jul-26 19:43:56

I think worry/concern is an inevitable part of loving someone!

MissAdventure Tue 28-Jul-26 19:48:23

Retread

It's not just about choices or mistakes though, is it?

It's an adult child diagnosed with a serious illness; or infertility; or divorce; worklessness; an accident or some other major life event.

I congratulated a friend on the birth of his 4th grandchikd recently, and he replied "One more to worry about".

Slimswim you're not alone.

My worrying would have no difference to the outcome.

ronib Tue 28-Jul-26 19:50:12

Some life experiences are so much more heartbreaking than others. It’s worth remembering that some redundancies can lead to much better career outcomes than was previously possible. No gain without pain.

anna7 Tue 28-Jul-26 19:51:23

I worry about my three sons all the time. I wish I could stop but there always seems to be something. One has been through an incredibly nasty divorce and one has health problems. I'm very proud of all three but I can't stop worrying.

SueDonim Tue 28-Jul-26 20:05:43

One of my DC has a terminal illness. It’s almost broken me, to be honest. I hardly dare to say that he’s doing ok at the moment 🤞 but I dread the future and also the lost opportunities he might have had if this illness hadn’t arisen.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Tue 28-Jul-26 20:08:40

Oh SueDonim! Heartbreaking to hear. Worse to be living it.
💐

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Tue 28-Jul-26 20:10:15

True Retread.

Curlywhirly Tue 28-Jul-26 20:15:01

I am a real worrier - I worried about my two sons, and now worry about their wives and children too! I know it's pointless, but I could worry for England and win 🙄

Erica23 Tue 28-Jul-26 20:33:50

Oh yes it’s never ending, even when occasionally there’s nothing too serious going on I’m left wondering and waiting for the next worry to come along. I could write a book !

Iam64 Tue 28-Jul-26 20:40:20

So sorry to read that SueDomin

GrannyGravy13 Tue 28-Jul-26 21:02:15

SueDonim sending you a (((hug))) you are living my worst nightmare xxx