Gransnet an online community to support,chat and discuss.

Be kind and polite to everyone not because they are but because you are. Nonetheless it is hurtful to be shot down in pieces or have someone be rude to you. I had this on one occasion from a particularly nasty poster, now gone I think/hope. I responded with a pithy remark and got threatened by gn’s regulator. So be careful about fighting back but I do agree with all Sago says.

I came to Gransnet after some dreadful bullying on Mumsnet. I like to think I can stand my ground but a particular poster was pretty horrendous and eventually the Mods stepped in.
I feel much more confident in asking for advice or information on here.
I have recently had some excellent help and advice from a lovely Gransnetter (new word?) and I am very grateful for her kindness.

Excellent post Sago.
I am still relatively new here but I have been disheartened by the aggressive responses from a small group of people who regularly seem unnecessarily combative and rude. Their input seems designed to bully others. I am aware that some of these posters may have issues and use this forum as a way of decompressing, but their contributions have a disproportionate effect on the whole. I have no way of knowing how the moderators react but it would be good to think they issue warnings to posters who deliberately seek to make others unhappy.

HelterSkelter1

Magenta8 it may be that they have not read all the posts and haven't seen yours.

That begs the question do they only read posts by GNs they know and like?

I always to at least try to scan read previous posts before posting, which is difficult when the thread runs to many pages but these were not multiple paged threads.

Last time I checked this is a free country but if you watch GB news, are against uncontrolled immigration or are not a fan of Labour then the coven of witches really have it in for you!

It is clear they work closely together by the timing of their posts in response to mine. They make spiteful, sarcastic remarks and deal with my posts as though they are marking under exam conditions. They obviously think it makes them look superior but it just makes them look like bossy bullies.

Unfortunately we've had plenty of practice on the estrangement forum for dealing with unpleasantness Galaxy.
TBH some of us have come to expect it but it is upsetting when there's someone posting for the first time, especially when they don't return.

I understand totally what you are saying
Sago. Am relatively new on here and have already had a poster being unpleasant, using block capitals and personal insults, and a few others being snippy. If it wasn’t for a kind member sending me a PM I might have given up because my life is a nightmare right now.
We don’t know people’s lived experience so if we can’t put our point of view across without hitting below the belt perhaps we should refrain from posting.

As usual on 'state of the board' threads I just start to think I understand who or what is being referenced then someone comes along with a post that shows that either I, or they, have completely missed the point.

I appreciate that nobody wants to draw fire from a 'clique', but would love to know what is going on if anyone would like to tell me.

As far as I can see, the only posting that has happened that may appear to be a clique - lots and lots of posters have criticised Farage and aspects of the Far right. This is not as far as I can see a clique, but rather a great number of people agreeing and saying the same thing in different ways.

The same posters, on another topic, will not agree. For example, there are a big mixture of feelings on the left about Starmer going and Burnham arriving that has been going for some time. Or on different approaches to economic policy and taxing wealth.

Fallingstar

I understand totally what you are saying
Sago. Am relatively new on here and have already had a poster being unpleasant, using block capitals and personal insults, and a few others being snippy. If it wasn’t for a kind member sending me a PM I might have given up because my life is a nightmare right now.
We don’t know people’s lived experience so if we can’t put our point of view across without hitting below the belt perhaps we should refrain from posting.

When it happened to me early on Fallingstar I wish now that I had reported it, as it was bullying, ("get a life")

But I was far too new to know that could be appropriate. The other thing about reporting bullying is that if the post is deleted, posters don't see a bully at work.

Also one looks at fun or chatty threads or help threads and sees in the N and P people a different side - people are rarely caricatures?

Reverting to your initial,post, Sago, I find it shocking thst you were bullied because of some alleged grammatical slips. Another gransnetter apparently had the same. I think it says more about the perpetrator - probably someone with low self-esteem who boosts her(him)self by making these unpleasant comments. As well as being a bullying tactic it’s also very rude.
Just remind yourself that that person has their own problems

Wyllow3

Fallingstar

I understand totally what you are saying
Sago. Am relatively new on here and have already had a poster being unpleasant, using block capitals and personal insults, and a few others being snippy. If it wasn’t for a kind member sending me a PM I might have given up because my life is a nightmare right now.
We don’t know people’s lived experience so if we can’t put our point of view across without hitting below the belt perhaps we should refrain from posting.

When it happened to me early on Fallingstar I wish now that I had reported it, as it was bullying, ("get a life")

But I was far too new to know that could be appropriate. The other thing about reporting bullying is that if the post is deleted, posters don't see a bully at work.

Personally, I think if someone posts "get a life", or the other personalised insult, "get over yourself" / "get over it" - they've already lost the argument... regardless of what that argument is.

... and should, really, simply be ignored.

Well now Wyllow I vividly remember your scathing remark to a posters expressed concerns.
“You should get out more.”

Pretty much the same as “get a life.”

Bullying?

Perception seems to be very much a one way thing when it comes to hurtful or damaging remarks.

Lathyrus3

Well now Wyllow I vividly remember your scathing remark to a posters expressed concerns.
“You should get out more.”

Pretty much the same as “get a life.”

Bullying?

I have never said that.
Not my style.

Where, when, to whom?

I would never, ever, say that to anyone, actually, with my personal history.

It’s there. In one of your previous posts about immigration.

Are you sure the context wasn't part of a sentence or something like that re going out and about in city life and meeting and mingling with different multicultural communities as I have certainly suggested that.

It must be fairly recent - where is it?