When you are so incensed and find your inner bravery!

Yesterday we went shopping, to a shop selling farming equipment. There was quite an oldish man, perhaps late 70 s paying for something at the till. He stood there for quite a while afterwards talking to the two young girls behind the counter. I couldn’t hear quite what they were talking about but one of the girs said ‘You need a donkey.’ ‘Oh I have one of those,’ said the man. ‘The wife’. My mouth just opened and I said ‘Thank God I’m not married to you. ‘. And walked straight past him out of the shop.

I became very incensed and brave when a woman (a friend of a friend) I had put up in my home so she could be near the hospital where she was having tests, put her bottle of vodka on my kitchen counter and proceeded to pour herself a stiff double. It was 10 a.m.

My bravery 😂 was so incensed 🤣🤣 that she found alternative accommodation soon after.

I can remember all the way back at Senior school when a teacher made my friend cry! I was incensed and stood up for her and berated my teacher.

I often would find my inner bravery at work if I felt someone else was being unfairly judged or singled out in meetings.

I’m fairly laid back BUT if someone pushes me or presses the wrong button I’m more than happy to “bite back”

I loathe “unfairness” “rudeness” and “injustice”, those are the things which normally trigger me to speak out.

Retread

I became very incensed and brave when a woman (a friend of a friend) I had put up in my home so she could be near the hospital where she was having tests, put her bottle of vodka on my kitchen counter and proceeded to pour herself a stiff double. It was 10 a.m.

My bravery 😂 was so incensed 🤣🤣 that she found alternative accommodation soon after.

It was her own vodka.
What was the problem ?

"It was her own vodka.
What was the problem ?

Agree with this. I can't see the problem.

Possibly vodka is incompatible with the type of illness for which the lady was having tests???

I'm not sure becoming "incensed" is something to get proud of.

DaisyAnneReturns

I'm not sure becoming "incensed" is something to get proud of.

If there is a genuine reason for it, then sometimes that's exactly what is needed!

Two months ago on my local train 3 teenage boys swearing and then 2 got off the 3rd one wanted them to go too the city but they had to go home. He started banging his head on the window worst swearing you could think of he was shouting . So I told him if he wanted brain damage carry on and end up like a vegetable but shut your mouth. He looked at me and moved to another part of the carriage and was silent. I am disabled. A man said that's brave he could have attacked you told him I would have hit him my stick handle which is weighted. But knew he was a coward and playing silly buggers because he coukd still see his friends.

I have zero tolerance for bad behaviour being widowed since I was 45 had to fight a lot of battles on my own. Its people who turn a blind eye let's bad behaviour become the norm. I am 68

DaisyAnneReturns

I'm not sure becoming "incensed" is something to get proud of.

There we are then!

Ten o'clock was opening time for the local pubs when I was at university, Retread, so the timing seems acceptable. Did she offer you a shot? Are you a non-drinker?

Whiff

Two months ago on my local train 3 teenage boys swearing and then 2 got off the 3rd one wanted them to go too the city but they had to go home. He started banging his head on the window worst swearing you could think of he was shouting . So I told him if he wanted brain damage carry on and end up like a vegetable but shut your mouth. He looked at me and moved to another part of the carriage and was silent. I am disabled. A man said that's brave he could have attacked you told him I would have hit him my stick handle which is weighted. But knew he was a coward and playing silly buggers because he coukd still see his friends.

I have zero tolerance for bad behaviour being widowed since I was 45 had to fight a lot of battles on my own. Its people who turn a blind eye let's bad behaviour become the norm. I am 68

👏👏👏👏👏👏

Well said!

You’ve just reminded me of a story from my 20’s when commuting to London to work on a very very hot day.

We were crammed into one of those awful single carriages that trains used to have, two long seats and opening doors at each end.

It was stifling hot, dusty seats, and almost no room to breathe, with two men reading broadsheets wide open across their neighbouring passengers.

A young lady stood up and opened one of the windows just a tiny bit and then wriggled back into her place.

One of the broadsheet readers, a man in his 50’s, leapt up, and shouted in this poor women’s face “ASK, BEFORE YOU OPEN THE WINDOW” and slammed it shut!

I waited about 5 minutes, then stood up and very calmly asked “Does anyone mind if I open the window?” Looking pointedly at Broadsheet Bully.

No one said a thing, Broadsheet Bully hid behind his paper and a few passengers smiled wryly. I then opened the window halfway down and sat down.

When we reached our destination, Fenchurch Street, Broadsheet Bully pushed and shoved his way to be first out of the door, I was close behind him.

As I walked passed him on the platform I looked at him and said very loudly, “I feel sorry for your wife!”

I enjoyed the rest of my day, I loathe bullies.

I don't know if anyone saw a video posted on the internet yesterday of a lady taking on a man who was pestering young schoolchildren for their phone numbers. After checking that the large group of children didn't know him she told him repeatedly to leave them alone and go away. He argued a bit then noticed that the woman's friend was videoing him and left. The lady informed the school.
I hope I'd have done the same but can't be sure.
As people on here know I'm keen to complain about fairness though.

ViceVersa

DaisyAnneReturns

I'm not sure becoming "incensed" is something to get proud of.

If there is a genuine reason for it, then sometimes that's exactly what is needed!

And you are entitled that opinion ViceVersa.

As the eldest in my family, I would often have to take my younger sister with me to various places. So whilst feeling very shy to ask something for myself, I was always prepared to ask on her behalf , so asking for the lavatory , or telling the adult at a party that my sister did not like egg sandwiches etc., sort of set the pattern. I have always been prepared to stand up for other people with no problem, and still do so, whilst sometimes struggling to do things for myself.

Regarding swearing, on one occasion when there were 4 lads talking and swearing badly about their sandwiches. I said "What are you going to do when you need it then?" and when they looked puzzled and one said "what do you mean" I said if you use such swearing over a sandwich what will you have to say when something awful happens? They looked at each other and one actually smiled and off they went.

Some years ago when I was working I was travelling down to London to sing in a concert. I chose the quiet carriage and in those days had a walkman and my sheet music to look through and study. Not a lot of people in the carriage and then this man got in talking loudly on a phone and had a laptop and sat on the opposite side of the carriage to me. He continued to talk loudly and constantly , and some of that inane stuff about oh we are just passing York or whatever, and I went across and asked him to please remember that it was a quiet carriage and he said he was working. I told him that so were the rest of us.

I gave him about 10 minutes to settle down and as he persisted in his attitude, I put my walkman on and then proceeded to begin singing an aria. He looked astonished and said "what are you doing?" I replied that I was working just as he was. Others in the carriage looked on. He said I should be quiet. I agreed and sat quietly until he began to shout again when I started to sing again. The second time I did this he slammed his things together and went off to another carriage. The journey continued with no more hassle and as I went to get off I got a round of applause!! I much prefer it when I can give a compliment or help someone but will stick up for what I think is right and fair.

Re the comments and questions on my earlier post:

- Aldom has it in a nutshell.

- It was a magnum of vodka. She meant business!

- I can't imagine making myself at home like that in a relative stranger's house. Let alone their kitchen! 😃

Anyway - it doesn't matter what caused it. I was recounting an occasion when I became incensed!

grumppa

Ten o'clock was opening time for the local pubs when I was at university, Retread, so the timing seems acceptable. Did she offer you a shot? Are you a non-drinker?

I'm certainly a non-drinker of spirits at that hour.

However, I'm enjoying a glass of chilled rosé right now. 🥂

Retread

grumppa

Ten o'clock was opening time for the local pubs when I was at university, Retread, so the timing seems acceptable. Did she offer you a shot? Are you a non-drinker?

I'm certainly a non-drinker of spirits at that hour.

However, I'm enjoying a glass of chilled rosé right now. 🥂

Me too!

madeleine45

As the eldest in my family, I would often have to take my younger sister with me to various places. So whilst feeling very shy to ask something for myself, I was always prepared to ask on her behalf , so asking for the lavatory , or telling the adult at a party that my sister did not like egg sandwiches etc., sort of set the pattern. I have always been prepared to stand up for other people with no problem, and still do so, whilst sometimes struggling to do things for myself.

Regarding swearing, on one occasion when there were 4 lads talking and swearing badly about their sandwiches. I said "What are you going to do when you need it then?" and when they looked puzzled and one said "what do you mean" I said if you use such swearing over a sandwich what will you have to say when something awful happens? They looked at each other and one actually smiled and off they went.

Some years ago when I was working I was travelling down to London to sing in a concert. I chose the quiet carriage and in those days had a walkman and my sheet music to look through and study. Not a lot of people in the carriage and then this man got in talking loudly on a phone and had a laptop and sat on the opposite side of the carriage to me. He continued to talk loudly and constantly , and some of that inane stuff about oh we are just passing York or whatever, and I went across and asked him to please remember that it was a quiet carriage and he said he was working. I told him that so were the rest of us.

I gave him about 10 minutes to settle down and as he persisted in his attitude, I put my walkman on and then proceeded to begin singing an aria. He looked astonished and said "what are you doing?" I replied that I was working just as he was. Others in the carriage looked on. He said I should be quiet. I agreed and sat quietly until he began to shout again when I started to sing again. The second time I did this he slammed his things together and went off to another carriage. The journey continued with no more hassle and as I went to get off I got a round of applause!! I much prefer it when I can give a compliment or help someone but will stick up for what I think is right and fair.

Madeleine 👏👏👏👏👏

I'm OK. on the smaller things, and as others have said, sticking up for someone else on these everyday challenges (loved the 2 train stories)

but on big occasions of being squished by a group of male bullies, at work in the past or a recent very distressing incident as it involved a whole group with differing POV despite what the law said, find it very hard as I'm too approval dependant.

Oh I would have liked to be there at the window and opera incidents 👏

DaisyAnneReturns

ViceVersa

DaisyAnneReturns

I'm not sure becoming "incensed" is something to get proud of.

If there is a genuine reason for it, then sometimes that's exactly what is needed!

And you are entitled that opinion ViceVersa.

If you are a quiet person who wouldn't normally say boo to a goose, then there will take a very good reason for you to have become incensed enough to speak up. It is amazing how much notice the people who usually ignore you will take when you blow your top. "There are three things that all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night without moon, and the anger of a gentle man" Or a quiet woman. (Quote was by Patrick Rothfuss)

Elegran I agree. Love the quote.

I know I am very easygoing and I have that reputation amongst friends and family. I blow my top once in a blue moon, and when I do, it surprises everyone. Including me!

Something happened today . I went out for an early dinner with my family . We were walking home up the high st. A man had parked his car literally almost the whole width of the pavement ( still in it) you could barely get by. My daughter glared at him but said nothing. As we got to the side of him I said “ how is a pushchair supposed to get past that” . He didn’t say anything back but at least I felt better. Some people are so entitled

Ive never had the slightest hesitation in telling people off. But then I have always been in jobs where it was my duty to manage staff, students or some kind of service point. So you aggress against me at your peril. Ive done it in cultures where women are traditionally passive, and men look at me aghast when I put them in their place.

Like the man who came up behind me in a cyber cafe in Kathmandu and said "I need to use this computer!" I told him my time was not up and he would have to wait until I finished. There were other machines free so he was trying to scrounge time for free. He continued to stand alongside me so I said "GO AWAY" in a very loud voice and stood up to face him. Nepalis tend to be small and I was a head taller than he was. . He actually jumped and nervously backed away to speak to the manager. The manager shrugged his shoulders and made a helpless gesture. He went outside the shop and sat on the doorstep until I left.

One of the backpacker types who was using the next computer said "He does that every day and never pays" I was glad I told him off. Did he think he could boss me about because i was a woman?