Preganancy and childbirth now compared to your experience.

I had my first child in a British Military Hospital in the Far East. It was horrible, painful and traumatic and DS was a large baby and needed a forceps delivery. I was not allowed to hold him or see him for three days! DH was only allowed one brief visit to see him. I think that enforced lack of initial bonding was very significant to my ongoing relationship with him as a baby, even after getting him home. I struggled as a new mother.

Fast forward four years to the birth of my second child, DD. Again in a military hospital but one run and staffed by Americans. Their mothers want for nothing. They considered natural births to be rather barbaric and epidurals were the norm followed by a week in hospital where babies were removed to a nursery at night to enable mothers to sleep undisturbed. After care was a world away from BMH.

When my GS was born DD had a traumatic time and had to have a Caesarian but the hospital were wonderful, and in the last four years we have welcomed three new babies into the wider family, two of whom were seriously premature. There are not enough epithets to praise the neonatal services here. They are just incredible. All children are doing very well.

No.1 born in November, 1969 at local, very run-down maternity hospital which was closed the following year. Just two baths for all of post-natal, no showers, quite cold. Was taken in when waters went, but it was 48 hours later before I could be put in a drip to encourage labour (should have been day after I went in, but there were not enough drip holders!!!

They refused to phone my hubbie when I was in labour, he knew nothing until he arrived that evening to visit and found out he was a Dad. Baby was small and taken from me after birth. I had episotomy and had to wait for a long time after delivery for the one Doctor to come in the sew me up and needed to have gas and air for that. No nurse with him. I was given the mask and that was it.
I was in considerable pain the following day from the stitches, eventually one of the experienced nurses told me to sit in a bowl of heavily salted water in one of the baths. Sounded dreadful to me, but worked. I always included a packet of salt in future packings for births.
Was in there for ten days - so was taught how to bathe and care for baby. Very useful.
We had been trying for a baby for nearly five years, so was just so happy to have one - did not fully realise what a dreadful experience the birth had been.
Eleven month later, my daughter was born at home - easy,quick labour with midwive and hubbie present throughout. My parents there bathing and putting to bed No. 1 and midwife brought them in to see their new granddaughter - and she was handed to my Dad whilst she sorted me out. This started the wonderful relationship my Dad always had with this little girl.
Two years later (1972), baby 3 -planned as a home birth decided to come a month early so was sent to hospital. Despite trying to stop the labour, she arrived easily and was taken to SCBU overnight but was brought to me the following morning. Good care for us both until after four days, I said I needed to discharge us both as hubbie was having serious problems at home. Given dire warnings by hospital about taking home a prem baby. However, no real problems and she even stayed with me at home when, a month later, I got a bout of D&V. Doctor said my feeding of her gave protection to her.

Less than three years later (1975) I was expecting twins - brand new maternity unit at local hospital. Kept me in for seven days as babies were a little on the small side.
Only bad experience there was an agency nurse who found me feeding these babies whenever they stirred and tried to tell me that if I went on doing that I would 'run out of milk'!!! I was a b.feeding councillor and knew I really needed to build up milk supply before returning home where there were three small energetic older children. I did feed these two for nine months.
At all births (except the home one), I was shaved and given an enema. No stitches except for the first one.
With my daughters having babies I have been seriously alarmed at the ignorance of breast feeding by these newer type of midwives. My eldest daughter was told she needed to put baby onto formula when she was a few days old as she was gaining enough weight!!! Fortunately, she listened to me and did not do this so continued to feed baby herself.
Another one was also told to do part breast and part formula feeding - midwife did not seem to know and understand that to do that would decrease mums milk supply. Again, I was there and as my daughters had always heard me advising people on feeding (as an NCT Councillor), they knew this was wrong advice.

I do think midwives who trained as such only after being fully trained nurses were far better in every aspect.

My daughter was born in 1983 and I was considered an older mum at 37 so was offered amniocentesis and the chance to know baby’s sex. Three days after the due date I had some spotting so they told me to go in where they induced me. After about 10 hours of labour I was exhausted and they decided on forceps - DD was big at 9lb 3oz. They kept me in for five days. Babies were kept in the nursery overnight and mum’s were woken up if they needed to be fed but this was not obligatory. We were given a cup of tea while we nursed.
Compare this with my DD who was left in labour for three days before being rushed for an emergency C-section . She was sent home the next day!
A midwife visited me at home for the first week and a health visitor a few times. However I don’t think my daughter ever did have a visit. She had to go to a clinic if she had any concerns.
That was eight years ago and, from what I’ve heard, things seem to have got worse.

Oh Franbern I thought my first experience was bad till I read yours!

How good that you were able to help your own DC too.

My DD had a hard time trying to establish breast feeding after a C section due to downright ignorance of midwives and separation from her baby. Eventually her
DH intervened and protested and she was moved to a room near the neo natal unit.
All is well now!

My first pregnancy was one of two half’s.I miscarried in early January was sent home and told to come back if the bleeding continued .It did and when I saw the gynaecologist she discovered I was still pregnant and had lost one of twins.
I was kept in hospital from then ,late February,until twin 2 arrived early due to pre eclampsia in mid May
Went into Labour on the ward on the Thursday and was given drugstostop the Labour.My consultant was away for the weekend and none of his staff were brave enough to interrupt him.
On Saturday afternoon the head midwife said enough and phoned him he came in roaring at the staff for not calling him sooner .Baby was delivered by high forceps delivery just before 8pm .She was taken to the nearest scbu 20 + miles away where she died .
She loved just 3 hours shy of 4 days old .I never saw her ,Her dad saw her just before she died.No photographs or footprints nothing to show she existed apart from birth and death certificates.
Our next baby arrived on her due date and healthy ,the hospital kept us in for a week .
Our last baby was 11 weeks amd 3 days early ,the hospital had a brilliant ScBU by then and for most of his over 10 week stay he was the only baby there .
Hes the 38 year old dad of three beautiful daughters and we live in the same street as 3 of the midwives who took care of him in those first awful stressful weeks .They all take time to speak to him and his girls .
Births between 1977 and 1988

Had my DS in 1969, was in labour on a drip for 3 days before he arrived. All I really remember is being shaved and given an enema and then eventually being taken to the delivery room twice and sent back because I wasn't ready. Afterwards I remember being laid on a bed with my legs in stirrups while various people came, had a look and commented on the bad tear and they'd get someone else to stitch me up - horrendous!

I had our two boys 1983 and 1985. Spent about a week in hospital with the first one, it was too long, found it hard coming out of hospital with a new born.
It wasn’t easy being at home on my own and difficult to get out and about without the use of a car. Remember waiting at the bus stop with baby in a baby sling, no chance of getting a pram on the bus. Then when the baby was old enough to sit in a pushchair it was just as hard getting onto a bus, not like now where the buses have a floor which drops to allow access to buggies and wheelchairs.
Only knew what baby groups etc were on just down the road.
Now I think they have a lot more choice but it must be hard with all the information available on the internet.
Think it’s gone too far with all these baby showers, gender reveal parties.

I delivered our children in the 60s and 70s. Husbands were not present. I went home as soon as possible allowing me to get some sleep, hospitals are not for sleeping, imo. The food was just acceptable.

Two babies, 22 years apart.

First one was a horribly long protracted labour of around 24 hours. Several shift changes of midwife, one of whom was munching on a packet of crisps while down at "the business end." When I actually gave birth they asked at the last minute whether a student could deliver the baby, I said yes - I suppose they need to learn somehow.

Second baby was in 2010. I was quite old by then. All very easy, great midwife, left alone for most of it - which I understand might not be seen as ideal nowadays but I preferred it. Hopefully if there had been complications they would have picked up on it.

I had my first son in 1970, he was 2 weeks overdue. I was told I had been having contractions for sometime, was given the usual shave and enema at 8am, had my waters broken by doctor, who asked if I minded if students watched. I didn’t object they needed to learn! I then didn’t feel any contractions until 7.30pm when I felt the need to push. He was born at 8.10pm with virtually no pain. He was 9lbs 4oz, I only needed 1 stitch and was told I had had a ‘pain-free’ labour. In the maternity ward was told by other mums to keep my slippers on a chair to stop the mice getting in them. One of the other ladies in ward had a stillbirth but was put in the same ward as the new mums and their babies. Shocking treatment! My other two sons were born in 1972 and 1980. Both were also big babies and were also classed as ‘pain-free’ labours. Never heard of anyone else having pain free labours, but was very grateful that I did

I was shocked when I read the other day that Caesarean sections now account for 45% of all births in England,. This breaks down to 20% of deliveries being planned and 25% being emergency procedures. A caesarian is a major operation and it takes weeks to recover, making the first few weeks of babies life more difficult.
The number of births where instruments are used to help is falling though, and I'm guessing that the risk of harm during these births results in more caesarians as the fear of litigation is ever present.

Nobody listened then.
Nobody listens now.

Sadly, little change I feel.

My first child was in the special nursery, as it was called in our maternity hospital, for almost three weeks. No one was allowed in, we had to look through a window. While I was in the ward during the week after her birth, I suffered severe post partum haemorrhaging. The nurses saw the results, but all they did was massage my abdomen, to try to stimulate movement in order to ‘ abort ‘ any further remaining afterbirth. I certainly never saw a doctor. After I got home, I haemorrhaged again, but my gp just prescribed medication to once again stimulate the uterus. It wasn’t until he saw me after the fourth haemorrhage, that I was referred to the gynaecological department of our hospital. He later told me that whenever he saw the colour of my face ( tinged yellow ) he realised how serious it was. I immediately had a D & C, then a blood transfusion and intravenous antibiotics, and was kept in hospital for a week,
‘ for the sake of my future health ‘, I was told. Knowing what we know now, I realise it was neglect, and could have had very serious consequences. By the time I had my third child, the parents were allowed into the special nursery, and eventually able to hold the baby when she was well enough. Luckily many aspects of childbirth have improved, though we can see from news reports that there are still instances of dreadful outcomes that could have been avoided.

My pregnancies were in 72, 74, 80 and 87. They were all pretty simple and uneventful except for a rumbling appendix with my 3rd. I had very short labours, about 7 hour between them all, shortest being 45 minutes. I had a surprise baby shower for my 3rd baby, but my brother had married a Canadian girl so she organised it for me. Health visitor support was fine and a 6 week check at the doctor. Second hand prams and pucshchairs and white nighties and babygros. All my daughters had completely different experiences and I think mine was so much simpler.

First child born in a maternity home in 1960. I was put onto a delivery couch, given the gas and air apparatus, husband was banished and then I was left , alone. The gas and air was empty. A midwife popped her head round the door every half hour ,that’s all, until the birth was imminent. Afterwards, my son was waved briefly in front of me then put in a cot and wheeled to the far side of the room. I was ordered not to move, then was left alone again, cold with the shock of it all, for about 2 hours. My baby made no sounds. I thought he was dead. Eventually I was moved to the ward. The babies were kept in the nursery so were only seen at feed times. The bawlers

were brought in first, the quiet ones last. My baby seldom cried so was always last and I had little time with him. He wouldn’t latch on and I was scolded for not trying. There were ten horrible days of unhappiness to endure before I could get home where I was sure the feeding would improve. It didn’t. Many years later, we found that he was autistic which probably caused the problem.No one knew much about it then.

Babies 2 and 3 were born at home, lovely gentle experiences.

The elderly doctor who was present at the birth of baby one later thanked me for giving him the privilege of being present at the first perfect classic birth that he’d ever attended! Heaven help all the other mothers he’d delivered!

My son born 1988.. And my daughter 1992 both emergency sections.
He went into fetal distress due to a long non progressing labour.
By 1992 my Doctor wanted me to try a Natural birth. I wasn't keen but samething, that ended up, as a failed Ventouse, then another Emergency Sections. She ended up on Special Baby unit due to inhaled Meconium. That caused problems as my Sister (her Aunt) was the Special Care Sister. So they had to find someone else to take the unit as you cannot have a relative on your ward if you run it.

Apparently my babies heads never engaged due to a Pelvic lip, both big babies he was 8lb 10oz.. She was 9lb 4oz. I was told if nice 7 lb-ers I would have been OK. Interesting my sister had x2Section too, same reason.

I was in Hospital for a week with both, but my DH was in the Navy and away, so my last couple of months before the birth I was on my own.
My Son only met his Dad when he was 4 months old, that was a fun time. So pleased I had my Mum and sister around, as post op plus a new born on my own wasn't easy.
My DD slightly more lucky, she had her Dad at weekends for the first 2 years, but for me that was hard work too, but you do it.

1st in 1971. Labour lasted 32 hours. Even back then hospital very busy so basically left to get on with it. Had to tell a lie about husband being sent off for work before they'd allow me out before the standard 10 day stay. Was so bored.
Next 1974 with twins undiagnosed until 6 weeks before due date. This was only due to GP visit for check up. Student nurse did check, told GP had heart on right side. GP checked and he said No, left side.Nurse stuck to her guns saying definitely right side. A otger GP summoned and both listened and confirmed one on each side. I had been really sick the whole pregnancy and was declared underweight for twins. Shipped to hospital where I was for the delivery (5 weeks 4 days) and another six weeks afterwards. Babies 6 lbs 14 ad 6 lbs 13. I had lost a stone off original weight. Two weeks after deljvery husband was due to be a Bestman at friends wedding. I was allowed out for the ceremony and meal but had to return to hospital. I had good care, basically asked what I would like to eat and meals were geared to that. I even had coffee breaks in morning and afternoon tea. Other patients were quite envious! Home help organised for when I returned home and provided for 3 months. I had no family support , husband away, and GP/hospital felt I needed some support with 3 young children. GP and health visitor once after discharge. I did feel I didn't need home help after about 8 weeks but she decided to do other things to help eg shopping, going to hairdresser with me and watching children when there, going to baby clinic. Lovely lady. Can't fault hospital care. Scans weren't around then and would have been very useful. I did have an x-ray but only on admission to the hospital. Today it seems there is no time for anything in maternity care. I don't go for all the gender reveal , baby showers nowadays.

My son was born in 1970 at Queen Mary’s hospital, Roehampton.
We were visiting mother in law and we lived in Brighton at the time.
I went into labour and he was born at above hospital.
The care was very good from what I remember.

How the times have changed regarding maternity.

25% emergency cesareans??? Is that to do with no slow build up? Paying for prep classes.

Don't come in too early; no ambulance, too few midwives so no guidance during delivery. Put you home in hours. All by the numbers.

I had 4 babies in the 1970s, in 3 different places. There was good and bad about my experiences each time.
There were no scans, no epidurals, no help or encouragement to breast feed. It’s all heavily medicalised now and dire shortages of staff can make birth dangerous.

My children were born in 1988, 1989 and 1991. I had high blood pressure and had a lot of monitoring. My first baby was born by C section as they discovered she was breech at 38 weeks. I was in for a week, and then had midwives visit for a few weeks. One of them was very glamorous with long painted nails, which I remember thinking was very inappropriate. On one visit I was asleep and she told DH she didn’t have to examine me, and could just ask him. She asked “ what is she like down below” DH was very confused, he didn’t know if she meant me or the baby! On another occasion, when I was struggling to breast feed ( no one told me it could take longer for milk to come in after a section) she encouraged me to change to bottles, saying it was much better as DH could do some night feeds! I always thought she wasn’t in the right job.
However, nowadays there seems to be very little after care. DD and DDIL both had very poor treatment particularly as 3 DGC were born during covid. DDIL was basically shoved in a store cupboard and forgotten about whilst DS sat in his car because he wasn’t allowed in. She had a terrible time and suffered PTSD as a result.
My friend’s DGD was born in Leeds which has been poorly rated, and basically her daughter gave birth trying to walk down the corridor to the delivery room because they didn’t believe her that the baby was coming.
Hopefully with all the poor press maternity provision will now improve.

My first baby was born in 1962 and I was in and out of hospital for seven weeks due to high blood pressure. The maternity hospital was a prefab building put up in a hurry following the post war baby boom and was staffed by two nursing sisters on alternate weeks and 4 training midwives. My baby refused to be born after three attempts and in the end after a discussion with a doctor at the bottom of my bed the sister broke my waters and I had 24 hours of prolonged labour. My husband wasn’t allowed to visit during this time and as there was no way I could get in touch with him he didn’t know our baby had finally arrived until the next day when he phoned to ask how I was, he wasn’t told what sex or weight our baby was just he could have a short visit, it was a very unhappy traumatic time as I had a cut and lots of stitches as my beautiful baby girl weighed just short of 9 lbs but she was beautiful and still is. I stayed in for 10 days and aftercare was excellent. I had daily visits from the home midwife and apart from being very sore I recovered quickly.

1966 was next, it did take some serious thinking to go through it all again, and I don't care what anybody says I didn’t forget about it all but coming from a family of six I never wanted an only child so this time thankfully I had a good pregnancy worked right through it and started labour on my own, at home where I stayed until my panicking mother thought I would have my baby so an ambulance was called and I went to the same prefab nothing had changed apart from more staff. There wasn’t a bed available so I was allowed to sit on a chair in the passage way or walk up and down as I wanted. After 8 hours of that I went to the delivery room where it all went wrong, my baby was stuck, the midwife announced it was a big baby and thought I should have a section, as they were arranging the theatre things started happening and the excellent midwife managed to twist the baby’s shoulders and after a massive push on my side my son was delivered, all 11 lbs of him, but he was worth it or so I thought. I went home after a week and wasn’t well, the doctor called and found I had an infection and needed to go back in to hospital, I refused so had treatment with antibiotics etc at home. My sister looked after me and my whopping constantly hungry son and again I recovered but vowed that was it, I had a pigeon pair for which I was grateful.

1971 This is the baby who defied the odds, and gave me a massive shock, it wasn’t possible was it, yes it was. I hadn’t planned on another baby but I was pregnant older and supposedly wiser. Luckily I had a reasonable pregnancy worked almost the full time but got very tired after about seven months and was advised to rest. When I was full term I was advised to be induced as my previous baby was a whopper, that’s exactly what was said, so I agreed. The old prefab had finally gone and I went into a new state of the art building. I was put on a drip, which worked quickly, my waters went, soaked the poor trainee midwife who was taking my bp so I went to the delivery room and my baby boy arrived with a rush. He weighed in at 10 lbs and I had a couple of stitches as according to the midwife my previous baby had paved the way. My husband wasn’t with me in delivery but was in the waiting room so was able to be with me right away, and drank my cup of tea, for which I’ve never forgiven him. I went home the next day but after care was terrible, a midwife called once, assumed I knew what to do, there was no sign of a health visitor but the doctor called a couple of times to check how I was. I never had to buy any equipment, pram, cot, even baby clothes etc as we shared everything in my family. I have 8 grandchildren, my daughter had a section and a vacuum birth as she had two big babies, she didn’t bother with a gender party as it was only just becoming the craze and we didn’t know the sex of any baby, and now 5 great grandchildren the same. Sorry I’ve rambled on a bit just brought back a lot of memories.

GrannySomerset

Perhaps someone on here will know more but I do wonder if separating midwifery training as opposed to it being an add-on after SRN training has had any effect on care standards. I assume someone somewhere has researched this?

I was not aware of this as my daughter went straight from college to uni to do midwifery.

1st born in 1987 in Taunton hospital. Hubby in attendance. Gas & air. After 3 days, discharged and hubby drove me & baby to Bridgwater Hospital, undressed and back into bed for another 7 days then discharged home! Health Visitor visits at home for next 7 days.
2nd born in 1989, same hospital and home after 4 days as near Xmas. Health Visitor for a few days after Xmas.
Fast forward …..
GS born 2019 in hospital only 4 days
GD born 2021 in front seat of car and home following day !!