Calling round later.

Just don’t answer the door if you feel
Like that. Up to you of course. 💐

He sounds lonely.

How times change. When I was young most people didn’t have phones & members of the family or my parents’ friends were always dropping in & were always made welcome. We dropped in on them sometimes too.
The last time someone dropped in on me was a few weeks ago when someone called in unexpectedly to return a book I’d lent her. I hadn’t seen her for months. I was busy in the garden but I stopped & we sat in the garden with a cup of tea & nattered for an hour.
Much better to see people & socialise for an hour than just plod on with a series of jobs. And better still, we decided we hadn’t seen two other friends for a long time as well and a couple of weeks later we all went out for lunch.

I would not let this bother me. "Later" is so vague, that if I wanted to take a bath, go for a walk, or pop out to the shops and the friend who had said he would pop round later, told me he had come and got no answer, I would simply reply,

"Well, I did not know when to expect you, and I had to go up to the shops. Sorry."

Absolutely..my daughter in law is the same..i ask for a window..say 2..3..then im not in.Just dont open tje door.Drives me mad

When i sell odd items on gumtree, I always arrange for buyers to come at 6pm ish, that way I dont loose a whole day waiting in, sometimes they don't turn up...and a wasted day

I no longer do 'drop ins'. I insist on knowing a time otherwise I become too anxious and can't settle. I think it's rude that people think that they can just come whenever it suits them.

I need to know or I can’t settle, it can almost be guaranteed they will arrive when you are in the shower/loo or when you have decided they can’t be coming this late in the day and put your “stretchies” on.

You are all welcome whenever, I just love it when people pop in!

As I am less mobile than I used to be and it takes longer to get to the door I do ask people if they can text me before calling round. Mostly it seems ro work.

My aunt kept her door unlocked and she was rarely without visitors dropping in. It used to annoy me as one of them was the biggest bore of a rector who called several times a week and dominated the conversation even when family were there.
She never seemed to mind.

I used to just call on friends and didn’t mind people calling on me . Sometimes I wished the house was tidier but I always made a brew . Since being on sites like this I have realised a lot of people don’t like visitors so I always phone first now .

I know what you mean. I am hospitable and sociable, but I also like privacy in my own home. If I know people are coming I can move things I don’t want them to see, wear clothes I want to be seen in and so on. That way, both I, and the visitors can feel comfortable.

I don’t want to live in a ‘visitor ready’ way - if I feel like relaxing by watching Eastenders wearing joggers and eating crisps I should be able to do so without judgement from others. I know not everyone would judge, but some would, and I couldn’t properly relax if I knew my house was basically a public space.

Other than family dropping by I just don’t like being invaded by random visitors. I’ve never encouraged neighbours in for a cuppa either. I was quite immobile a few years ago and waiting for surgery…..a distant neighbour found out and messaged me to say ‘I’ll come and keep you company for a few hours and have a coffee” ……..I was mortified with the prospect! It might have come from a well meaning place but crikey…….I didn’t not want her here!
I like to know who’s coming…..and when.

I don’t mind short notice, but I think turning up with no notice is rude. It costs nothing to give a quick call to check that a visit isn’t going to be an inconvenience. We don’t just find ourselves at someone’s door - at some point we decide that that’s where we are going, so why not let them know?

In the case of the vague friend, it’s tricky for the OP as being caught off guard meant she didn’t ask for a time. All you can do in those circumstances is wait, I suppose.

I find some people so vague about timings .

Last week a neighbour called on me twice with a brochure .
He waited for his wife to return from holiday and mentioned that he hadn't been able to contact me.
She's extremely remiss anyway .
Anytime we make a date I can add on an hour plus waiting for her .
Fine I thought ,but why not phone or text me or shove a note and /or the brochure through the letterbox.

If you had been going out surely you would have mentioned it?
If anyone comes to my house unexpectedly I invite them in and they have to take me as they find me.
If I was doing the ironing for example I make them a drink and they watch me! They don’t usually inconvenience me.

I welcome all visitors if I am at home.

MT62

I don’t mind as long as I am dressed in the morning & house is tidy.
Husbands friend from work, stands at the window which I hate & think it’s rude.
Another one use to turn up at bedtime & not leave until until after midnight. Talk about ‘winding up the clock up’ & putting the cat out 🤣 they never get the hint.

😂
I used to have a neighbour who needed to be told it was time for her to leave.She didn’t seem to mind, in fact I think she may have been on the spectrum and didn’t know how to take her leave so liked to be told.

I don’t mind as long as I am dressed in the morning & house is tidy.
Husbands friend from work, stands at the window which I hate & think it’s rude.
Another one use to turn up at bedtime & not leave until until after midnight. Talk about ‘winding up the clock up’ & putting the cat out 🤣 they never get the hint.

Yes keepingquiet it's a horrible feeling when you realise your friendliness is being seen as an intrusion. You just wish you could turn back the clock.

Here 2 friends are very unwell, one is falling out with everyone without explanation, my cousin has died and another relative is terminally ill. I'd love it if any of them could pop in.

Yes, beachcomber76- same here.

Today my GC opened some of her cards and gifts from last week (we only see her Sundays) I got her to write out two thankyou cards and then we went shopping.

One of the people to whom she's written the cards lives five minutes away so I said why don't we pop in and see...? and say thank-you and show what you bought with the money.

I then realised I'd left my phone behind so we called on speck although I wished I hadn't have bothered.

This person was miserable, making judgements and rude comments and made it clear she didn't really want us there.

I felt like saying don't bother with a card or present next year...

Just wish someone would pop in to see me.

I agree. I just carry on as normal. If you happen to be home when and if he calls, then put the kettle on .

A neighbour called when I was out recently. She phoned to tell me she had called. I had not been expecting her so I tried explaining that I do go out sometimes 😉

Turned out she wanted to use my printer. It doesn't work so I sent her to the library.
None so strange as folk.

Me to GG. My awful MIL wanted me to arrive spot on at a certain time - not easy with 2 little ones to get ready. Even saying ‘teatime’ didn’t suit her!! It wasn’t as if she had anything prepared anyway.