Being Scared Of Youths In Supermarkets?

Macaydia

Cat call to elderly? Laugh in their face and put them in their place. They are only children

They are only children
Teenagers can be huge! and intimidating and some carry knives. I would not be laughing in their faces.

Some time ago I used to have to battle my way through a group of youths that would hang around by the station. I would guess they were 16-18 years old. Ish.

One day I realised I didn't have my lighter with me. Shocking admission about smoking. So I just glanced over and asked if they had a light.

Three or four of them all looking for lighters. Offered me one. Perfectly polite. Rather sweet really.

I'm not suggesting that all gangs of teens are delights, just that in my case they just looked threatening. Perception.

Oh, I'd best mention they were white.

I'm so sorry you had such an experience with those freaks.

Sadly, in this day and age, security and shop staff are no longer allowed to tell them to get out, just in case they're ''delicate'', have some sort of ''mental or physical illness, " or are ''snowflakes or woke''. Or they scream they ''don't like being told off!''

Numpties, the lot of them idiots!

Long gone are the days when security could physically grab such morons and toss them out!

NotSpaghetti

I wonder if you had spoken to them (say) "excuse me lads" and just walked past if they would have moved aside?

NOT excusing them - but speaking to people (especially with a smile) generally yields a more positive response I find.

Absolutely this. If in doubt, I smile. Usually works for me, almost invariably people smile back and step aside.

NotSpaghetti

I wonder if you had spoken to them (say) "excuse me lads" and just walked past if they would have moved aside?

NOT excusing them - but speaking to people (especially with a smile) generally yields a more positive response I find.

I was delivering leaflets around our town, the business area one evening.
When I went into the small covered shopping area there was me and a group of young people. I hesitated then I put on my big girl knickers and spoke to them. They helped me deliver the leaflets.

Sorry to read that you have had such a scare.
Hope that if you make a complaint, you will get some resolution.

I know we used to "hang out" in loud groups when I was a teen - especially when on holiday. I expect we were intimidating too at that point.

I think all groups can be threatening on first sight...

There were only eight or nine of them, no different to the strapping sixth-form teenagers (so no uniform) that gather at the supermarket here buying snacks at the end of the school day. Why on earth would boys of this age cat call an elderly woman? They wouldn’t do it to their nan, surely? If they are causing an obstruction just make a path through or around.

I agree with NotSpaghetti and others. Stop assuming groups of lads are hostile. They may appear full of bluster but that’s just the human species of any age in a group - no different to any group of blokes having a pint ... or indeed women ... or pensioners - read on.

Reka’s right. It’s about perception and communication. Ask the lads to reach for something on a high shelf for you or for a Lynx recommendation for a grandson. If teenage boys know anything, they know how to asphyxiate a room full of people with the smell of assorted body sprays. And don't be surprised if they laugh and push at one another. Its just a nervous reaction and what youngsters do.

Intimidation is often in the mind. Teachers work with teenage boys and girls every day and they manage for the most part. I’m not saying they are always easy but they are just people.

As a schoolgirl, I remember how we used to feel aggrieved by the large groups of female pensioners who used to leave the bingo hall at the same time as we left school. They would push their way to the front of the bus queue in front of us because they thought they had priority over children - which of course they didn’t. That’s not how queuing for the bus works. If we remonstrated politely we were told not to talk to our elders in that manner. It cuts both ways. It’s just how people are en masse.

Macaydia..you can't do that anymore,they don't care,the type of youths who do this aren't bothered about respecting their elders.My family had a horrible incident with a group of youths,the ringleader,known to the police was 14,my daughter was trying to prevent the group from following us ,this 14 yr old punched her in the face,it was all captured on CCTV but because my daughter walked up to him the police said it looked like he was defending himself, she's 43,she was asking him,not shouting to leave us alone,there's no fear of reprisals

Ou4 Sainsbury’s in Deal has a security guard.

These youngsters were behaving badly, and got away w ith doing so because no-one felt brave enough either to tell them off, or to ask to speak to the shop's manager, or to ring the police.

As I see it, none of us have a duty to put ourselves at risk, so I quite understand why no-one either reproved the younsters or complained audibly about their behaviour.

But if we want this kind of behaviour not to continue, we do have a duty to report it, first to the store manger, then to the chain's headquarters and to get in touch with the local authorities and the press.

The police cannot well do anything , unless they are called and manage to get to the store while the incident is taking place, but they should still be informed ,as the crime prevention squad needs to be aware of what is going on.

We had a similar incident years ago in the shops we used, and as it was very obvious from the languages spoken and the boys' names that they belonged to the Muslim community, my husband went along to the mosque the following day and had a pleasant and useful conversation with the Imam who had not known of the problem, but certainly took steps to ensure that it did not continue.

So, identifying which community a group belongs to is not necessarily racist, but can be a way of stopping the rot.

NotSpaghetti

I wonder if you had spoken to them (say) "excuse me lads" and just walked past if they would have moved aside?

NOT excusing them - but speaking to people (especially with a smile) generally yields a more positive response I find.

This is what I would have done, just an "excuse me lads" can I get to....! I refuse to let the younger generation .ake me feel afraid. My DD once told me off for asking a 20 something chap to pick up his litter and put it in the bin close by. He just looked at me
and said "ok love" and laughed. Not all are going to respond positively and yes I would have let the store know but I'd not be scared to go back in.

How horrible for you. Definitely get in touch with the manager. It's hard, but try not to let it make you scared to go out.

I am very cautious when out and about now. Not long ago I was punched in the back by a drunk who was chasing another drunk in the city centre. I was walking into TK Maxx with my daughter when I felt the thump in L2. I knew it was L2 because I broke that vertebra in a fall some years back.

These idiots weren't youngsters, they were older dishevelled looking drunks having "fun"

AuntieE

These youngsters were behaving badly, and got away w ith doing so because no-one felt brave enough either to tell them off, or to ask to speak to the shop's manager, or to ring the police.

As I see it, none of us have a duty to put ourselves at risk, so I quite understand why no-one either reproved the younsters or complained audibly about their behaviour.

But if we want this kind of behaviour not to continue, we do have a duty to report it, first to the store manger, then to the chain's headquarters and to get in touch with the local authorities and the press.

The police cannot well do anything , unless they are called and manage to get to the store while the incident is taking place, but they should still be informed ,as the crime prevention squad needs to be aware of what is going on.

We had a similar incident years ago in the shops we used, and as it was very obvious from the languages spoken and the boys' names that they belonged to the Muslim community, my husband went along to the mosque the following day and had a pleasant and useful conversation with the Imam who had not known of the problem, but certainly took steps to ensure that it did not continue.

So, identifying which community a group belongs to is not necessarily racist, but can be a way of stopping the rot.

Would your husband gave gone to the local church to speak to the vicar/priest, if they'd been white?

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Yes, as others have said, you should inform the manager. It may be that staff, as well as customers, feel intimidated by this sort of behaviour.
Ask exactly what the manager is going to do about it. If you get a shrug, say that in thst case, you will inform the police and Sainsbury's head office.
If you do nothing, you are in effect condoning the bad behaviour.
And by the way, as a fairly senior ex- secondary teacher, I find that, with young teenagers, a sharp but slightly humorous "Calm it, lads!" will often elicit "Sorry, miss".

NotSpaghetti

I wonder if you had spoken to them (say) "excuse me lads" and just walked past if they would have moved aside?

NOT excusing them - but speaking to people (especially with a smile) generally yields a more positive response I find.

Agree totally with this

We have problems at our Morrisons and Tesco youths and girls creating a distraction to enable theiving. Unless police are present there is little that can be done. They know they can get away with it, after school is worst

The only way is to ban under 18s unless supervised

They do it because they can! Recently I encountered a young lad scooting around the shop on a trolley. His mother was with him and begged him to behave but he ignored her. I stood in one of the aisles with the business end of my umbrella ready to charge him but he went the other way!
Just a couple of days ago, I headed to the Post Office and noticed a young person in a 'hoodie' standing nearby. I thought little of it, but later, on the local Facebook page, an elderly man took some money from the ATM outside the same Post Office and was approached by a young person who had been standing on the corner. Fortunately, the man's wife was with him and she must have looked threatening because the youngster changed his mind.

Our local Boots refuse to let young schoolboys in.
What happened to our youth? Girls can be just as bad

Well, given all the recent publicity about store employees approaching problem makers and ending up sacked I doubt if there would be any security in stores now. If stores do manage to capture problems on camera at least if you did complain to say a manager the footage coukd be given to the police in the hope that they are identified. Think I would complain to store, if they don't know they can't act.

Further to my previous text, I heard earlier that Sainsburys have made a whopping profit this last financial year and so can afford decent security staff. Morrisons have security staff, and there seems to be at least one. So why Can’t Sainsburys?

Definitely e mail or ring head office customer services. they will be furious that this isn’t being addressed.
I wouldn’t bother at local branch level .
But ensure head office know you are happy to involve the police if this is not addressed.
I’m so very sorry for your experience and the anxiety this will cause you.
Hopefully after a cuppa tea and some tv you might feel a bit better.
It’s totally unacceptable

Ok..maybe your just a bit sensative?.i visit my local coop at nite.They gather for somewhere to go.Not all teens are robbers or causing trouble.I just say." Alrigbt lads..out the way..

This bunch of youths were obviously idiots.. They do it because they can get away with it. Teenage lads nowadays are also big and tall.Around six foot.

. You are a vulnerable elderly lady. and an easy target. Sorry that they
picked on you and you must have felt very intimidated.

I bet they filmed the incident and posted it on somewhere like Snapchat. It makes them famous for a day

Do you have a mobile phone ? If you do and anything like this happens again Take a photo or a video.

I am also looking at personal attack alarms .

I meet a lot of younger people who are very helpful and are a delight. An absolute credit to their schools and parents So they do exist

Best Wishes
😻💐
Xxx