Grooming gangs. Where are the parents?

An Afghan migrant has been recently jailed for raping a 15 year old in a car park, and whilst I would concede that this type of rape could have easily been committed by a British opportunist. Nevertheless, the defence which sounded completely spurios, in that he was not aware of cultural differences. Shocking really! raping a minor deemed as a cultural difference and I'm wondering if that's some standardised line of defense in such cases.

If you Google this, you will only find evidence of a previous grooming gang of Indian men, not the white only one with women in the gang too.

''It is wrong to say group-based child abuse is predominantly committed by Pakistani men, the National Police Chiefs' Council (NPCC) has said.

Figures from the police database show where ethnicity is recorded, that in the first three quarters of 2024 - 85% of group-based child abusers were white, while 3.9% were of Pakistani origin.

what difference would it make if said boyfriends were 'ethnic' or not? Wow!

We all know that many grooming gangs were not 'ethnic' at all. I remember seeing the photos recently of those from Stoke!

windmill, where did you read that

It seems many were in care and their ethnic "boyfriends" would roll up and take them out without, apparently, and restrictions or questions from those supposedly supervising the care homes.

Either these places were simply grossly understaffed or no‐one gave a damn as long as enough boxes were ticked.

I know the residential home next to us gets paid an absolute fortune by the local authorities to look after these young people. I'm not sure it was as much as that, Witzend, but I know it was a considerable sum.

To me one particularly scandalous aspect is that the so-called ‘care’ many of these girls were apparently in, is provided by private agencies that charge the govt. an absolute fortune. I swear I once read £250k per child per year - far more than the cost of the most elite boarding school.,

I’m 66, at 13/14 I was in local pubs and clubs with my mates.

We lied to our parents saying we were at each others houses, just as we tried to get into n films we were too young to watch.

We did have some sense though and boundaries and good educations, these poor girls often had nothing!

Many of the girls were in care, some had learning issues, some were absolutely feral.

I’m sorry to disagree, but it’s not about discipline.

These girls were failed by the system, the police, the courts.

They were children and are victims!

This could happen to any young girl. When my daughter was about 15 all her friends went to Spain for a week after their exams. When they came home she withdrew her savings and flew back to stay with a much older man who worked in a club.We didn't know where she was but by luck a friend and her husband bumped into her on the resort and found that she had been staying with the man in a flat with no food.They sorted her out and helped her to get home. Even then she thought it was a romance and asked if he could come and visit.

petra

Mamardoit

The men may have been deterred if they were handcuffed and marched off in front of their families and neighbours.

I very much doubt it. That statement assumes they have some shame. 😡

That would have no effect on them whatsoever. The girls they exploited are seen by them, and others in their community as being worthless trash. That is why they exploit these girls.

They would probably see being paraded before family and friends as evidence of their machism and virility.

Some of the girls parents did report it, but nothing was ever done.

winterwhite

Parental support needs to start much much earlier and there is also a great need for youth clubs or similar where girls can gather when there’s no one at home and with luck join in activities.
Often the girls don’t know the real names of their ‘boyfriends’ so even if they can be persuaded to talk to the police nothing can be done.
It isn’t the case that social workers don’t care. Those are unwarranted accusations. They cannot lock the girls up and they can’t stop them going out. The homes are always full to capacity with teenagers with complex needs.
It’s facile to say ‘if this were my daughter’. It couldn’t possibly be. These are girls who have no one to teach them to keep themselves safe until it’s too late, and this is why there needs to be more and better advice targeted at parents.

One of the victims was with Maggi Oliver when she pointed out to Maggi one of the men who raped her.
He was in his uniform of a senior serving police officer
Maggi Oliver had been working with him 🤬

Sadly, children that do not get affection or attention in the home or a care home will be susceptible to the grooming gangs.

Mamardoit

The men may have been deterred if they were handcuffed and marched off in front of their families and neighbours.

I very much doubt it. That statement assumes they have some shame. 😡

If children in a 'normal' family home can hide their drinking from parents (and they do), then children in care can easily do the same. As I said earlier, I've seen this first hand with the young people who live in the home next door - the staff can't physically stop them from going out. One lad used to sit in the back lane beside our garden and smoke cannabis on a regular basis - when we raised it with the staff, they just shrugged it off and said that at least if he was going that, he wasn't 'kicking off' inside.

eazybee

Some of these girls were in care because they were beyond the control of their parents, which is why the Care Homes involved need to be called to account. Some parents did attempt to prevent their girls from being used this way but were powerless to prevent them, which is where the failure of the police to take action has to be investigated.
Some girls were aware of what they were doing, when they started, but the fact remains all these girls were below the age of consent, and all were vulnerable. Their behaviour made them easy prey for exploiters, and provided an excuse for their claims not to be taken seriously.

Exactly.

The parents were begging for help in many cases, they were ignored.

Quote butterandjam Wed 18-Jun-25 15:43:11
Anniebach
If the girls were in care would not them drinking be questioned
Teenagers living in the loving/ respectable parental home STILL manage to have a social life with pals in which drugs and alcohol play a part. Hidden from the parents.

Yes but I spoke of children in care

Anniebach

If the girls were in care would not them drinking be questioned

Teenagers living in the loving/ respectable parental home STILL manage to have a social life with pals in which drugs and alcohol play a part. Hidden from the parents.

Reading abut the childhood of Kim Woodburn, who died yesterday, you have a complete explanation of how these children end up exploited and abused.

There are no tests for whether someone would make a suitable parent before they conceive/father a child and from the endless stories of child abuse and murder that come before the courts, it is abundantly clear that many parents of both sexes lead lives that doom their children before they are born.

Forget about whose fault it is. Just make sure that you have the systems in place to rescue these children and provide them with the physical and mental support that will ensure that these children are not vulnerable to the blandishments of those who only want to do them harm.

Easybee wrote "Some of these girls were in care because they were beyond the control of their parents, which is why the Care Homes involved need to be called to account.

Residential care for children is not like prison. They can't be locked in.

I’m not defending or minimising poor practice but as sago commented earlier, there are some naive and judgemental comments here

It’s so easy to blame the parents, police, health, social workers, residential social workers if you have no experience of the complexity involved in trying to keep children, especially adolescents safe

...And of course at that age, young people are susceptible, they haven't developed guile and nous. In a similar vein it was why so many young women were drawn to ISIS, they were also groomed.

Indeed - my friend's daughter (then just turned 14) was groomed by an older man who had her completely brainwashed into thinking they were in a genuine relationship and he was the only one who truly loved her. No matter what my friend did, her daughter kept going back to him time and time again - she would sneak out in the middle of the night and so on. These men know exactly how to seek out the vulnerable and prey on them. It's very easy to say 'if that was my daughter' - until it happens to you.