Ghosting - rude or the only way?

Once knew someone who would start the sentence with: "Would you mind very much if". ... and you knew that in truth she was telling you to go and do one!

Good for you Dragonfly!

I had to do this with a friend who used to ring for an hour every weekend. I really like her but it got too much so I just told her I didn’t have time every weekend to talk and told her I was sorry. We are still friends.

I think Sidelined might reply with "I'd like to discuss (politics, roses, William Blake, the climate crisis, 1950s Hollywood, old pop songs, horse drawn carriages, or --)simply launch into a topic that interests her, while ignoring what does not.

Then they may find some interest in common.Or not.

i don't understand what facebook is really.
i guess there are degrees of revelation, but just being listed on it must give some information away, ?photo, location, name ? else how can they identify you.
it's not my world.
it would have no advantage for me.
i like to be anonymous.

I would take the gradual fizzling out approach. It seems kinder than being blunt.

I know there are some circumstances in life where a direct approach is needed, but a casual internet friendship isn't really one of them - no need to be mean, but no need to stay in the friendship either.

I used to 'chat' to a women who started out as a friend of a friend. I realised very quickly that she could not talk about any thing other than how awful her 'friends' were. I had endless voicemails about their various shortcomings and iniquities but I always managed to somehow keep my replies neutral.

I never tried to find out but I am sure she went on about me to other people. Anyway, I told her I was going cold turkey with my phone and I would not be listening to messages as I would very busy for the next few weeks. After a few 'Are you there by any chance?' messages she gave up.

Having written this down, I realise how rude I must have seemed telling her I was too busy to listen to her or respond.
Still, it worked.

1 group I didnt want to be in in the first place, I "archived". A relief. Not sure who noticed or cared.

Personally, op, I would tell her that you feel the emails have run their course. And see what she says or does.

I would not acknowledge anything she mentions about her family , make you replies general and about the hobby you share, like others have said try not to reply to every Email. At least she is not ringing you up. Hopefully she hasn't got your number. Hopefully you can wean her off gradually.

i can’t understand the appeal of facebook etc,I’d never want people to know what I am doing

Just because you’re on FB, doesn’t mean others know what you are doing unless you choose to tell them.

Facebook doesn’t have magical powers, people can’t zoom into your life willy nilly.

Lot's wife ?
(think i've got salt on the brain, or maybe a lack of it...)

There is an important rule

Once you decide to stop responding, never look again

You said it yourself - be less available until she loses interest.

sound like you are being bombarded with those dreaded round robin letters that used to come at xmas.
at least it was only once a year usually, before the
e-age.
i can't understand the appeal of facebook etc;
i'd never want people to know what i am doing,
unless i choose to tell them in person.
maybe i'm old-fashioned.
i agree, just gradually don't respond.

I agree with others always be honest but as kindly as possible.
Gosh this social media malarkey is difficult.
I have made some on line friends, some contact me often, some now and then. I wonder if the latter are trying to let me down gently.
I, on the other hand am hopeless, the road to hell is paved and paved again with my good intentions.
Hope nobody thinks I’m trying to back away or ghost them. Must try harder.

I find ghosting a lovely solution to excess noise. Be polite and silent.

Fade away and become estranged, great choice.

Thank you all, I've never been very good with bold, honest endings and the ghosting option seems unkind. I'll have to be less available until she loses interest. Thank you.

It doesn't actually matter if you do it slow or fast, whether you wait a week to reply or just stop now, the implication the same

If you back of gradually you also may get follow up emails, questions about why you aren't replying and then that is where even trickier ground is crossed that involves excuses and potentially being dishonest

Better to just reach out and tell the truth, that the relationship feels too one sided and you wish her all the best then don't reply again

I was quite relieved when my talkative friend stopped phoning. I never phoned her but she pestered me every week with accounts of all the people she had visited ,all the trips she had made etc.
2 of her children no longer speak to her. She doesn't know why.

I would whisper away. I have had to do this with a social group I belong to. I went less and less, communicated less and less and they don't bother about me now because I became too boring. Like my cousin said: Go beige!

I agree back off gradually.

I agree with Theexwife that pulling back from this friendship gradually is the way to go until it eventually fades to nothing.

I really dislike ghosting.
Let things run down naturally and tell her that you have too much going on to keep constantly emailing.

too 🙄

Tell her you’ve found a toy boy and are far to “busy” to reply much. 😂