In tears because of GD

So did I - but evidently this family is delighted to marry off one daughter. Maybe then life will be better for the other. One can but hope. Much has been made of their respective ages and jobs so I think this is a family which (at least in the OP’s generation) sees success only in finding a man rather than in working hard and contributing in cash and in kind despite illness.

I don't think my eldest GD will want to live with me though
I don’t understand this I don’t understand the living conditions at all Why would the eldest need to live with you I thought she had her own room at home
Who lives with who this is so confusing!!!
Have the golden couple left already !!!
This gets more muddled every time I read it

It does. It just doesn’t make sense.

Why all the adulation for the youngest Grandaughter,a 31 year old who managed to save money due to not paying her way as you previously stated on another thread.
She has got engaged, so what alot of people do. Her sister texted congratulatons what more do you want.
The eldest not only paid rent but helped around the house with two very painful conditions, it is her whose praises should be sung.
The youngest daughter on what you have said before earns 9k and works only part time, lives free of rent and bills she sounds like a freeloader to me.

rafichagran

Why all the adulation for the youngest Grandaughter,a 31 year old who managed to save money due to not paying her way as you previously stated on another thread.
She has got engaged, so what alot of people do. Her sister texted congratulatons what more do you want.
The eldest not only paid rent but helped around the house with two very painful conditions, it is her whose praises should be sung.
The youngest daughter on what you have said before earns 9k and works only part time, lives free of rent and bills she sounds like a freeloader to me.

To be honest, I’m still struggling HOW this couple ever think they’ll afford to buy a property with one of their incomes only being £9,000 and how on this income younger GD saved up £80,000?

It’s all so confusing, this entire thread is full of confusion!

Norah

Germanshepherdsmum

All this jubilation at a woman finding a man is reminiscent of Jane Austen - though unfortunately it seems it is not he who is possessed of the fortune (yet).

I thought we were beyond "finding a man" - perhaps it's not 2024?

“It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley.” Here, Elizabeth talks to Jane about her feelings for Mr. Darcy.

However, it's the DGD who has the £80,000 deposit!

Youngest still lives at home but alternates between there and her now fiances home where he still lives with his partner. When they got engaged she was at their house, hence the text.
They have a big deposit which will help bring down monthly mortgage payments. Their joint annual income of 33k is low but the deposit will help. They have put an offer in so it is likely to be accepted we believe.

Someone suggested upthread that my eldest GD come and live with me to take over the house after I pass. I said I didn't think that is likely to happen.

Nobody thinks that finding a man is the only way to live but it doesn't mean that it isn't lovely and that undoubtedly, it helps you progress in life if you live near London as we do and want to be independent.

I am not dismissive of my eldest GD and her illnesses. She is in a great place with both and it needn't impact on her work or future.

With his parents I meant,
Both youngest GD and her fiance live at home but she alternates between the two homes.

I am even more confused. “ youngest still lives at home but alternates between there and her fiancés home where he still lives with his partner”??

What a fuss about an engagement.

I would be like the elder sister.
It's a shame I don't know her, we'd get on well!

I am not dismissive of my eldest GF and her illnesses. She is in a great place with both and it need et impact on her work or future

Seriously? Do you have the faintest idea what RA and Crohn’s disease mean for the person managing serious life changing disease.

Report away but I’m struggling to believe your posts are genuine

Report me too, I agree with you 64

His parents I mean.
As for the illnesses. You do realise that many, many people work often fulltime with diseases such as my eldest GD's? She has had an awful time with both but is now doing extremely well. Many are really shocked to hear she has the diseases. Not everyone is laid up and incapacitated.

they have a big deposit

I think it’s she who has the big deposit - what does the fiancé have?

I have R A diagnosed in my early 40’s but dominating my life from age 25 according to the prof who finally diagnosed.
I’ve worked full time and managed flare ups alongside meds so I do know how disabling this condition can be - flare up out of nowhere and the patient struggles with stairs, walking, living an ordinary life,
We get highly skilled at managing auto immune conditions, which travel in groups usually. Hence people believe ‘not everyone is laid up and incapacitated”

I conclude either you’re not genuine or you have an empathy by pass

He is earning 23K annually so this is why they are able to buy. I explained this previously.

YorkshireQueen

His parents I mean.
As for the illnesses. You do realise that many, many people work often fulltime with diseases such as my eldest GD's? She has had an awful time with both but is now doing extremely well. Many are really shocked to hear she has the diseases. Not everyone is laid up and incapacitated.

Gosh you have a heart of gold don’t you
Let’s just dismiss her illnesses in the need to dance our congratulations to a measly engagement
You just don’t get it at all we are ALL talking to the brick wall

YorkshireQueen

He is earning 23K annually so this is why they are able to buy. I explained this previously.

I’m so sorry, but you’re just going to have to report me too! Between them they are earning £33 pa? You genuinely believe that even with a healthy deposit they are going to be able to purchase a flat in the south east AND pay the mortgage plus all of their bills? Honestly what planet (or century) are you actually living in?? £23,000 for a full time job is very low! It suggests a low skilled role, which in turn suggests it will be hard to move up the chain at all. I’m just astounded!

YorkshireQueen

He is earning 23K annually so this is why they are able to buy. I explained this previously.

I defy anyone to live on £23.000 with a mortgage (as stated previously to be near London) and a partner who only works part-time...

This really is getting ridiculous

That's a really poor wage, particularly for London.

Cossy

YorkshireQueen

He is earning 23K annually so this is why they are able to buy. I explained this previously.

I’m so sorry, but you’re just going to have to report me too! Between them they are earning £33 pa? You genuinely believe that even with a healthy deposit they are going to be able to purchase a flat in the south east AND pay the mortgage plus all of their bills? Honestly what planet (or century) are you actually living in?? £23,000 for a full time job is very low! It suggests a low skilled role, which in turn suggests it will be hard to move up the chain at all. I’m just astounded!

We were discussing on another thread about nurses on a higher salary than that having to use food banks.

This pair are living in Cloud Cuckoo Land.
Or else he saw her (and her £80,000) coming.

I am Spartacus 🙂

OP has said they have made an offer on a flat for £190K. With an £80K deposit they will need a mortgage of £110K which is £660 a month at 5.3% over 25 years. Take home pay on £23K is £1655 per month. On £9K it’s £700 per month. So GD2’s salary covers the mortgage leaving them £1700 per month for everything else. It’s doable.

We see this scenario pretty frequently: improbable back story with the sketchiest of details but a great outpouring of self pity from the OP. Good advice is rebutted and never taken on board, rather, further details intended to support the OP's story are drip fed but are inconsistent. I think that most of us are well aware that 1) its hardly conceivable that someone working P/T and earning 9k pa can amass savings of 80K over 15 years given the miserable interest rates over this period of time and 2) couple with a combined income of £32k can obtain a mortgage for a London property.
Were this not enough, the utter lack of any compassion or empathy for the two serious and life changing conditions the elder granddaughter is said to have suggests to me that the OP should have far more to worry about than her crocodile tears.

I think it's less than minimum wage, on a 40 hour week.

TinSoldier

OP has said they have made an offer on a flat for £190K. With an £80K deposit they will need a mortgage of £110K which is £660 a month at 5.3% over 25 years. Take home pay on £23K is £1655 per month. On £9K it’s £700 per month. So GD2’s salary covers the mortgage leaving them £1700 per month for everything else. It’s doable.

What? In London?

Where is this flat?