Weddings of yesterday and today.

Costs may be 'relative', but you can still have a wedding without spending an absolute fortune. You don't need to spend tens of thousands on what is just the one day. I'm sure most couples could put that money to much better use. If they're loaded and have the money to spare, then fair enough - but I just don't see the sense in couples getting themselves up to the neck in credit card debts or loans just for the actual wedding itself.

This wedding is at a 5star hotel with a 2AA rosette restaurant.
Just jealous I wasn’t invited.

annsixty

This wedding is at a 5star hotel with a 2AA rosette restaurant.
Just jealous I wasn’t invited.

Years ago my cousin got married and the reception was at one of the most prestigious hotels in Edinburgh. We were all looking forward to a lavish reception - and it was, but for one thing. The bride's family were Baptists and it was a 'dry' reception - not even champagne to toast the happy couple. The food was good though.

I have never liked big white weddings and by the time I was 8 I had decided that they emphatically were not for me. They have always seemed to me to be an incredible waste of money.

We married in 1968, 20 guests, a decent meal and the honeymoon delayed until the summer when we could have a beach holiday somewhere hot and sunny. My dress cost £5 from a little boutique on a local high street

Nothing has changed my mind since. DD decided not to marry at all, or live with anyone or have children.

DS & DDiL married first and had children later and had a lovely 'alternative' style low key wedding, with friends giving aspects of the wedding as presents, photography, catering, setting up and decorating the venue were gifts or a communal effort. The whole thing, including dress cost £5,000, which even in 2003 was not much.

My experience has been that the bigger and more expensive the wedding the shorter the marriage. For most of those I know whose marriages have lasted, the marriage was more important to them than the wedding, which were varied but low key and not expensive.

I'll never forget my husband's very unromantic proposal. We had been living together for over a decade (too old for kids). We were in the city centre and had stopped for a coffee. He suddenly said, "How do you fancy getting married and going on a cruise for a honeymoon?" I said yes. He dragged me down the street there and then to book the cruise he had just seen in a travel agents window! It was departing in a couple of months time. We then booked the registry office and I had no intention of inviting any guests or even telling our families that we were getting married but about a fortnight beforehand we did tell our families and invited my mother, our brothers and sisters and their young children who weren't at school. A total of 12 I think. We then had a meal at a local pub. The cost of the day was negligable compared to most weddings and it was stress free. The honeymoon was fantastic and over fifteen years later we are still happily together. I just don't see the point in expensive weddings.

We married at a very shabby registry office in 1963. After he had declared us married, the registrar leaned over the desk to shake hands, and said "Congratulations, that`ll be 7/6 please"!
Hubby wore his only suit that had been dry cleaned, along with a tie and socks borrowed from 2 of his brothers. My 2 piece suit cost £5, it was lemon, so was worn a lot afterwards. The "reception" was about 15 people (including bridal pair) in the front room of the house we were going to rent, cups of tea and sandwiches. Afterwards we caught the coach to Blackpool for a week`s honeymoon in his parents caravan.

i like the sound of that, Hellogirl1.
esp the tea and sandwiches in front room.

My daughter's wedding was in our garden during Lockdown, with only six guests on a glorious summer day. I think it has been one of the nicest weddings I have ever been to, they were so happy to be together. I was sheilding, so had to keep away from everyone.

Her wedding was cancelled because it fell on the very first day of the first Lockdown. The money they saved went towards a house deposit.
My only sadness is her beautiful dress is still hanging in the wardrobe, she chose not to wear it and her dad would have loved to see her in it.

My daughter's fiance did the whole romantic proposal thing. They've been living together for seven years. They booked a weekend away in the Lake District and he went down on his knee and proposed at some beauty spot. Unfortunately, my daughter tripped on the way down from the hill they were on and broke a bone in her foot and had to wear a surgical boot for three months. Here's hoping she keeps out of trouble over the next two weeks!

We had a small registry office wedding because the thought of the whole church wedding thing frightened the daylights out of me! As we were living and working in London we decided that it would be easier to get married there - whichever way we did it otherwise, one party or the other would have had to travel either South Wales or to South Yorkshire! We had our reception in the home of DH’s best friend and his wife. It didn’t cost a lot and everyone enjoyed it. That was fifty seven years ago! As for my own children, one has been with her partner for thirty years and they have no wish to marry. If and when they ever do decide to tie the knot - it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if they pull two witnesses off the street and don’t tell anyone until it’s over and done with! The other, a firm believer in the married state, had a lovely, very lavish wedding that they paid for themselves. Horses for courses!

We got married in February 1965. I bought my wedding dress from C&A, it was £10, my Mum made the bridesmaids’ dresses. My parents paid for a meal for family and friends at a local pub, I think their budget was £50 and they paid for the wedding cake, my husband paid for the flowers and my father paid for the wedding car. We left after the reception to travel to London on the train and we were there for three days, it was freezing! I didn’t have a hen do and my husband didn’t have a stag do, I don’t think anybody did then. I don’t understand the huge sums of money spent on weddings these days, a friend of mine really went to town on her daughter’s wedding and she was divorced within two years.

1977 wedding, January. Hired wedding dress and veil, but brand new stock. Bought new whit shoes and had small bouquet of fresias. Small church wedding, no bridesmaids. Reception in community centre. Cousin was a chef so he did the food which was lovely. Mum made wedding cake and lady in village iced it.

Our wedding photos look like Wuthering Heights, as it was January it was cold and windy and we had them taken on a hill,overlooking the sea and a storm was brewing so the sky was navy blue! It was a lovely, happy day though.

We couldn’t afford a honeymoon so went back to our rented cottage and didn’t owe anybody anything. My son’s friend had a massive expensive wedding and it took him years to pay off. Another friend’s daughter had a very expensive one too and split up within the year!

I had my own lovely flat before our wedding and we asked our guests (around 80) just to attend but no gifts. My Mum underwrote the catering, one special (and extremely talented) friend made my beautiful dress, another couple of close friends were madly keen to pay for our tiered cake and we paid for everything else without problem. A wonderful day was had by all and we lasted thirty years before my husband died very suddenly. Incidentally, I had many Baptist friends in attendance and they drank as much alcohol or soft as they wished without problem. All in all a very magical day for me and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

I got married in 1969 on a cold February day. My mother made my dress and also the two bridesmaid's dresses. My grandmother made me a two tier wedding cake, but paid a friend of hers who was a professional cake decorator to ice it.
It was at 2pm and my father, who had started celebrating at 9am was two sheets to the wind by then, so it was more a case of me leading him down the aisle to prevent him falling on his face.
We had a small reception in the function room in a local pub afterwards
We stayed together for nearly 51 years until my husband passed away. Our younger son does to believe in big expensive weddings, which is just as well as he has been married and divorced twice.

We had a lovely wedding in my church in August 1989. Our reception was held in a village hall and we had caterers for the meal.
I have long thought that the amount of money spent on a wedding is very often in inverse proportion to the length of the marriage.

I married 40 years ago and my father organised nearly the whole thing. He organised the venue, food, car, photographer and flowers. I went with my Mum to choose a dress which he paid for but he gave me a budget. My SIL made the bridesmaids dresses, they were a disaster she decided to use hula hoops in the hems to make them stick out but when they sat down the front shot up.
We left the reception at about 6pm and went back to our new house where we had hardly any furniture. All the other guests went to my parents house and they had a great party until the early hours, we didn’t know this until the next day and felt a bit upset.
Saying that we had a great day, a lovely honeymoon to Austria then 40 years of very happy marriage.

Our wedding was fairly typical of the era- 1970 - church with a lovely vicar, reception at a nice hotel, honeymoon in London and Rome.

Our children have had very different weddings. A trip to Vegas for DD3 For example.
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Kittylester - nobody I knew in the 70s had a foreign honeymoon. I was married in 77 and we couldn’t afford one. All my friends who married around the same time had small weddings, receptions in village halls and community centres and if they did get a honeymoon it was maybe the Norfolk Broads or a couple of nights in Skegness.

In the 80s my friend’s sister had a honeymoon on Rhodes and we thought it was very exciting even though we didn’t know where Rhodes was!

Comparing "then" and "now" is really difficult.
I had what I thought was a really really lush wedding but looking at the photos maybe it was just fabulous for its time. It would cut much less mustard now!
Like others we had trestle tables with a white cloth over, flowers from the garden arranged by family, cake made by dad, all the dress alterations done by mum. I had my bouquet made by a florist but no professional hair/makeup etc. It felt very special and luxurious at the time - now it would look like quite an "ordinary" do!

The fabulous wedding my daughter-in-law-to-be is planning with our son is definitely a cut above ours!
Who are we to judge.

But, LRavenscroft, I've never been to a wedding where there was a choice of menu. I can't imagine how that would work if you were bringing (say) 100 meals out all at once.
May be OK if it's a small wedding and a large kitchen but logically is nigh on impossible if not...
Obviously there will still be "special diets" to make as well.

Would be interested to know if others had choices on the menu and still had a 3 course (or more) sit-down type wedding breakfast.

growstuff

My daughter is getting married in two weeks. Thirty guests for a three course meal in a nice hotel outside Manchester. No hen or stag night and no evening party. My daughter is wearing a normal ivory dress (not an expensive wedding dress) and her mother (me) is making the cake.

growstuff
I hope you all have a wonderful day, which I’m sure you will. The cake will be delicious. Are you making a flavoured cake or a fruit cake?

We had a Quaker wedding in London in 1969. Not only was it the first Quaker wedding, but the first wedding I had ever been to. I was 20, DH 23.
There was tea and cakes in the hall afterwards and then a nice neighbour offered her bigger sitting room and garden for a champagne tea. DMiL made the cake. We were allowed 30 guests each! We made our own sandwiches
My sister's new boyfriend helped with the washing up, much to my DM's delight, and they were married the following year and still are!

We honeymooned in Cornwall and 50 years later we went back to Cornwall for our Golden Wedding, a year before he died
DHs family had come down from Scotland and I think they were somewhat disappointed that there wasn't a ceilidh.

3 of our 4 DC had far more traditional weddings with plenty of kilts. None of us had DC first. One DS hasn't married his partner of 20 years.

Good wishes to your DD for a happy day
Growstuff

I prefer couples to wait until after the wedding before having children too. I was just 19, big white wedding, family and friends. Could write a book on life after that. Remarried to the love of my life eventually. I believe in marriage. That piece of paper is essential when things don’t work out. However it’s different times, party and holiday times, my grandchildren are appalled I married so young and had children, didn’t you miss the parties, the gigs, the holidays. No it was different times, if you left home it was to get married, that’s how it was. Look of horror. . Thirty is still young to them, in the future before they would ever consider a child, so much to do first before all that. Very different times.

Grow stuff, the forthcoming wedding sounds lovely. Enjoy.

People having children before marriage doesn't bother me which is good as 2 daughters have had that experience (1 twice) and 1 son has 2 sons and lives 'in sin' quite happily with their mother.

DD3 has a company which puts on wedding events - the people who exhibit at her shows are very varied.

In lots of ways they are an excuse for a huge party.

Register office wedding
summer 1969, 15 guests the majority parents friends. Ordinary White dress £3. No pub or village hall after, tea and sandwiches in parents back garden. Luckily a sunny day.
A matching dress and coat for going away outfit, had saved hard fir a week in Spain our first time on a plane. Thanks to Freddie Laker.
Wedding gifts I remember were tea towels, washing up bowl with brush, tea pot and cups and saucers.
About as simple as possible , even for those days and would have cost under £20.
That was 54 years ago, how times have changed,