Do you go to funerals?

Given the age profile of the more longstanding members of our U3A there are a lot of funerals locally. I rarely go to the service and never to the bun fight afterwards. Where there has been a private family funeral I sometimes go to the follow-up memorial service if it is someone I knew particularly well. I have requested an unattended cremation for myself. I'm not religious and don't want to line the pockets of funeral directors by paying for unnecessary extras.

My husband and I won't be having a funeral. We have arranged to go to the University for research purposes. If that doesn't happen we will have a Direct Cremation where there is no service and ashes are delivered to loved ones. Family can have their own ceremony later. Funerals cost £5000 upwards and in this day and age I would prefer my family to have the money.

If I go, it is out of respect for the people left behind. Recently the mother of my first serious boyfriend died. Over the years, she and I had met on many occasions where she always chatted to me and said she wished her son had married me as he was on his 3rd marriage. I didn't like to tell her that it was never in my plans! She was the most lovely lady and so was her husband so I asked if I could go but giving the family every opportunity to say no. I was so glad I did as everybody welcomed with me open arms and we were able to reminisce on better times with the beautiful person who had died.

After MIL's funeral, my M was being returned to her care home and remarked "This has been nice. We will have to do it again sometime" We did!
On the other hand a poem in a book I was given, written by Joyce Burton can be read at my funeral.

It seems quite good to me
To think of my dust blowing around the world to eternity
I'll drop my dust on my children's children
like a benediction
Carrying a breath of love long gone
It's just a fantasy I know but who can tell.
It's better, I think than visions of heaven and hell.

DH and I are just having a cremations where knowbody attendce.. When the family want to get together later they can.. But I must say I've been to some cracking funerals when I was younger.. One of them was best friend of my parents.. He was paint and decorator.. All his work mates turned up in overalls.. The church was packed.. After the service everyone decided to go to a club in Leeds which was in Chapel town... Where Jamaican / African people went to plus some white guys. We stood at the door and letterbox style atch opened with the bouncer looking at us all and we said George had died..please let us in.. We danced to the reggae music. Everyone joined in, black and white people. In them days everyone mixed really well.. It was the best send of for George.. He'd have loved it. One other was at my mother's funeral. Our Grand daughter decided she wanted to get in the car with 5 of us with the funeral driver sat in the front... She sat next to her great uncle and said guesd what I've got nitts... Haha people didn't know if to open the cat doors and run. It was so funny all their faces and moving away from her.. We then all cracked out laughing.. Her great nana would have loved that.. Even the driver was shaking with laughter.. What funeral.. Drinks after and plenty singing and dancing went on that day..

The last funeral I went to was my sisters ten years ago. Everyone seemed more interested in the flowers and my nieces had a row and have hardly spoken since.
At my mothers funeral the celebrant got her name wrong.

My friend's mum died at the weekend. I am absolutely dreading the funeral. I'd really prefer to stand outside the church then slip away.

Been to one today. A close family member. Non-religious and more a celebration of life with music, poetry and a lovely eulogy. I’ve been to too many funerals in my life. I don’t attend unless I was close to the deceased.

Is he Irish kircubbin ? the Irish seem to love funerals and go to and many as they can get to even someone they ve just passed the time of day with. Its almost a weekly hobby

Interesting. An in law of mine belongs to an ex serviceman association. If asked they will go to the funerals of other ex veterans. He's sometimes at several funerals a week. He is Irish, so maybe that explains it, lol.

My husband's good friend died suddenly in March and then husband's cousin died suddenly from Covid in June. Both men were close to turning 80. We went to the memorial gathering for his friend and it was really nice to hear stories about his life.
The service for his cousin was in the chapel at a funeral home with about fifteen people there. The officiant did a good job of including personal things in his service and we felt it was a good farewell. Even though there were just a few people there, they had been the most significant people in his life. One of the saddest funerals I have gone to was years ago when I was a young mother. The mother of one of my son's best friends died after a long battle with breast cancer.
My mil had taught first grade for many years. She was in her nineties when she died but several middle-aged former students came to her funeral which was very nice of them and appreciated by my husband.

During Covid, my BF’s stepson took his own life. At the funeral the celebrant was so overcome by emotion, she broke down and the deceased brother had to take over, until she got herself under control again.