Are you put off from visiting?

I couldn't afford it, so no I would not be able to go. I am fortunate as both my daughter's live in Scotland. One is about 150 miles round trip the other 3 miles away.

I’d definitely go, the GC grow up so quickly and tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.
Hopefully you’ll find a way to reduce your costs. Lots of helpful suggestions already.
If it’s a real strain on your finances then have a quiet word with your DD to see if she’s able to help. She’d hate it if you couldn’t visit if she’s in a position to assist and you never gave her the opportunity.

We’ve been invited to stay with DS and family for one night, just before Christmas. They live 250 miles away, no nearby train so we would have to drive. We have regrettably had to refuse as we are getting too old to drive so far, two days running, in the middle of winter.

Same here, we're in a different country from our daughter and her little family. Every time we go it costs us a lot of money,in travel, hotel, eating out (often) and of course gifts etc. We do it, will always do it. I don't see how to nót go . There simply is no other way.

I suppose it depends on one’s financial situation, shame to miss out though on seeing your family especially if over Christmas. Understandable if you cannot afford it. I would have to travel from uk to Canada which would cost near couple of thousand pounds, to visit my son who has now lived there for 2 years, we hope to do for Christmas 2023 but wouldn’t be able to do it every year.. if money was no object then yes maybe I would, or if not Christmas another time of the year.

I understand this well- but from the other side! I am retired now but lived about 100 miles from the area where both our families lived. They almost never visited us even though we could accommodate them. We always had to take the children to see them with all the attendant squabbles about which family was seeing us most. In the end I had to cut down the visits as it was wearying and expensive. Also annoying as his family always managed to find my husband lots of odd jobs to do for them as he is a builder (free of course!). Though my parents are no longer here, it’s still the same! I’ve lived in my new place for ten years and still no family visits other than when I take an expensive train journey to them; I sometimes have to fork out for accommodation too which I dislike as I am by myself now and it gets rather lonely!

I would suggest you look at self-catering - Airbnb, Vrbo etc. We prefer it to a hotel and find it's often cheaper as well as giving more flexibility.

Helenlouise3
Already explained that one. Sun 18:30
DSiL always offers to pay for the fuel-we don’t let him, as they have more than enough expenses of their own.
I just wondered as the title says “Does it (the cost) put you off visiting?”

I think the answer entirely depends on your general financial circumstances.

If the amount needed to visit is really going to leave you eating bread and butter to the exclusion of all else for a month, then no, I would not go, but explain to my son why we could not come.

On the other hand, family matters, so I would try to put a tenth or a twelfth of the amount needed aside every month, so we could afford to visit.

We pay every November to have snow cleared off our pavement, if and when there is any snow, as we cannot do it ourselves, or don't want to. I put a tenth of the annual cost aside every month -that way I find it easier to afford what is after all a task that is easier to pay for than do myself, and as it is illegal here not to clear your pavement, I can't just not do it.

If I could afford it YES
You only see them a couple of times a Year , I would make it a break away also . Have you booked hols for Next Year ? Depends how important it is to you for the visit ....

If cost is isn't the concern then I'd go. Do a thorough search for accommodation but as it's Christmas season it will all be more expensive than at other times.

Couldn't one of the grandchildren give up their bedroom for a couple of nights? Unless it would put me into debt, then yes I'd go, but perhaps explain to your daughter when you get there that you're finding it very expensive now. She probably hasn't thought about cost, just that it would be nice to see you

Try Vrbo and Booking.com as well as Airbnb, they both have dog friendly accomodation. Or just google dog friendly self catering in....

ParlorGames

Whilst I agree that you cannot put a price on the memories of special occasions within families I would also question why the AC cannot travel the 300 miles to see their parents before Christmas? It has already been stated that the GC have grown up somewhat so travelling with really young children cannot be an excuse.

Because some of them are working or rehearsing or performing on most days other than Sunday. I’m sure you wouldn’t really suggest that they do that drive just for a 24 hour visit.
I work, but not every day, DH does childcare but not everyday so we can organise our lives more easily that’s all.

If they lived closer, you would probably see them more regularly and possibly spend a similar amount over the same period of time, maybe?

Whilst I agree that you cannot put a price on the memories of special occasions within families I would also question why the AC cannot travel the 300 miles to see their parents before Christmas? It has already been stated that the GC have grown up somewhat so travelling with really young children cannot be an excuse.

DeeDe

Only you can decide if the visits worth it to you really ..

True, but it has been good to see that others don’t think we’re crazy!
I’m going with the “while we can, we will” school if thought.

Only you can decide if the visits worth it to you really ..

My son lives 200 miles from me - we see each other all the time. Later on.. I might not be able to drive that far, so I make the journey willingly whilst I can. He also comes to me equally as often.

If I could possibly afford to go I would. We think we have all the time in the world but no-one knows what is around the corner.

It’s easier to stay in a hotel- you have freedom to get up and set off when you like and it is more relaxing. We don’t need to because ours all live within a couple of hours drive but when we went to the UK we would never stay with anyone except parents.

Hillwaker what a lovely way of putting it I agree 100% 👏

My thought process would be whilst I’m healthy enough to do it,I would do it. Since retiring and seeing people dying around me I don’t hold my self back from doing things that maybe in 6 months time I can’t do anyway. Im now a live for every moment girl.

Time is our most precious resource - much more so than money. Unlike money, once 'spent' time cannot be replaced - it is gone for ever. I have learned this the hard way. Life is short. You should find a way to go and visit them.

Bit too late now, but train tickets booked in advance with a Senior Railcard aren't too bad. You might find an AirBnB more reasonably priced too. We have decided it is the memory banks, rather than the real ones, that are going to be our priority somehow.