Why do people do that?

Razor wire and landmines

pollyDolly you could put the veggie items outside in a suitable container and as for the knitting patterns/ any other unwanted items ..well how would anyone come to know about them in the first place?
Just leave a notice outside I suppose with details about how to get them?

Reciprocation? I am not remotely a 'popper in', but I would feel a certain obligation to someone who offered to share a knitting pattern or gave me a gift of food, unless it was an 'over the fence' thing, rather than a gift given on my doorstep.

Also, if you aren't already on social terms the neighbour might have seen them as a way of reaching out, maybe because of loneliness, so the offer of coffee could have been made on those lines? I wouldn't read too much onto it, or go into full-on deterrence mode unless they become persistent - it was probably well-intentioned.

Maybe they are lonely.

Maybe they’re just being friendly and neighbourly.
My friend and neighbour often comes round with her own cup of tea.

Keeper1

Razor wire and landmines

Love it! Lol

Granmarderby10

pollyDolly you could put the veggie items outside in a suitable container and as for the knitting patterns/ any other unwanted items ..well how would anyone come to know about them in the first place?
Just leave a notice outside I suppose with details about how to get them?

We have a group FB page with was set up during the first lockdown to enable us to check in on one another remotely. If anyone has anything they're gifting we all put it on there. Everyone else respects the boundaries but there's always one exception. Don't misunderstand me, I wouldn't deliberately see any one lonely and actually the person in question has a better social life than anyone I know but she used to have coffee with one particular couple - uninvited - every Sunday; they tried making plans but she would still show up, often as they were getting ready, and disrupt all their plans. They were just too polite to say anything to her but they'd moan to everyone else - I vowed that I wasn't going down that route when they moved away but seemingly I am now her target because she likes free veggies!

Politely tell them you're busy, and gently shut the door!

I have a horror of people giving me things they no longer need (or want cluttering up their house) but which they are sure I will find useful?

Sorry?

Keeper1

Razor wire and landmines

Oh my! I'm usually such a pacifist...but this made me laugh out loud

ha ha!!!!

You must be kind but firm. Offering surplus veg is not an open invitation.

Keeper1

Razor wire and landmines

??

Put anything unwanted on Freecycle.
My neighbours are lovely - there if you need them (and vice versa) but otherwise non intrusive.

To be honest,.I think people are lonely.
Maybe you've got a bit of magnetism and look like someone they want to get to know.
Just be firm...I know it's difficult but I wouldn't like anyone just dropping by for coffee. I'm too busy (and important) ? to stop and chat like that.
Working from home...some people don't understand that you are in fact .. working.
I love my neighbour and Family and regularly chat but I'd never ever dream of just dropping by like thwt and expecting coffee

Keeper1

Razor wire and landmines

This made me laugh ?

perhaps could find a modern version of my Granny’s way of dealing with this situation. She lived in a Victorian terrace, step in from the pavement. Anyway, before swinging open the heavy solid front door, she would ram on her hat, sometimes in winter a scarf too, open the door. Should it be someone she was pleased to see, would say she had just come home, come in, if it was an unwanted visitor, she would say, I’m just going out.
She never had a phone nor spyhole and couldn‘t see her front door from her front (parlour) window.

No one should be under siege in their own home, good luck.

Keeper1

Razor wire and landmines

??????

I used to be a target for ‘poppers-in’ because I’ve WFH for several years. I started to say ‘I’m afraid I can’t ask you in’ quite a lot!

I always try to give stuff to a charity shop. That way, the charity gains, and someone who wants it gets a bargain.
You have to tell people that you like your routine and don't like to get away from it. They might have accepted the things because they felt they couldn't refuse, and think you are reaching out for company -there's another side to this as well.
I

I’d like it. No-one pops in on me…but I don’t pop in on anyone either!

I live in an area with 6 other elderly neighbours. Most of them I don't see much off but one who speaks to my dog and gives her treats, I often, if I've been baking take her something , maybe 2 scones and a couple of pieces of cake. I've never been in her house and she has only once been in mine. She quite often brings biscuits or s little cake to me. That's just friendly and not a problem to us..

Keep door locked and don’t answer if not convenient