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Please tell me I am not being selfish!

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WadesNan Mon 28-Feb-22 12:00:52

A long time friend (we have known each other for over 60 years) has been financing her daughters divorce (4 years and counting as they can't agree terms!). She is now talking about selling her house in order to continue to pay the solicitor/barrister bills and has suggested moving in with me.

Whilst it is true I do have room I am a very private person and although I enjoy meeting up with people I also enjoy closing my door and having my "alone" time. I am in my late 70s and my friend is in her 80s and not in the best of health and I am worried I could end up becoming her carer - something I don't want to do.

As she is currently paying a large part of her daughter's mortgage I suggested if she does sell up (which I have advised her against) she could move in with her daughter but her daughter has vetoed that idea!

Today I have received a phone call from a mutual friend who has tried to convince me to take her in - I am holding out but am beginning to feel like I am being selfish and letting my friend down.

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eazybee Thu 03-Mar-22 15:17:28

Is it certain that all the money the mother is giving her daughter is going towards the divorce?
Could you persuade the mother to see an independent financial advisor because it sounds as though she is approaching financial disaster if she is prepared to sell her house to raise funds, or consider equity release.

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Germanshepherdsmum Thu 03-Mar-22 15:23:50

She will have to see an IFA if she’s considering equity release. I have a feeling that she’s being conned over the divorce fees.

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50ShadesofGreyMatter Sun 06-Mar-22 05:35:27

Imo you would be mad to even consider this. It's not your problem to solve, you don't want to do it, do not feel guilty. "No that doesn't work for me" is the best thing to say. Do not offer reasons as they will try to counter those and talk you round. Just repeat the "no" as needed. "Don't set yourself on fire to keep sometime else warm".

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