Helicopter parents!

back off and rest your rotors.
else you may be confined to the hangar.

Well I suppose recognising this is a start Jen. Does it upset your AC? Have they said they see you as interfering? If so you'll need to try and step back, if it doesn't worry them, then don't let it worry you.

It depends what you do. I’m frequently in contact with my adult children and I offer help if needed. Otherwise our conversations are about GC, holidays and mundane things.
What do you do that’s worrying you? Are they complaining about you?

I think helicopter parents are always hovering and looking for problems that may not exist, then stepping in to 'solve' them.

It's not the same as being involved in their lives, so if that's all you're doing, it sounds ok to me. Your children are the ones to ask though.

I am in my fifties my dad who is approaching 80 regularly rings me with a 'frost warning' before I go to work .

But does he ring your manager to ask them to let him know that you've arrived safely? ?

Imagine your mum doing this with you. When you were your kids age.

If you are not perturbed by that scenario then maybe your kids aren’t?

They are probably used to you!

Have they complained?

Doodledog

But does he ring your manager to ask them to let him know that you've arrived safely? ?

?? made me laugh Doodledog

I thought that helicopter parents referred to parents of younger children.
Perhaps I'm wrong.

Dinahmo

I thought that helicopter parents referred to parents of younger children.
Perhaps I'm wrong.

Yes I thought that too.

I've heard of HPs but not sure what they are. Suggests to me you are hovering around and probably interfering. Not good. Would you have liked your parents or in-laws to do that to you? Do you think the children in question are incompetent or just that you know better? Still not good. However, luckily you have become aware of your shortcoming (well done!) and I was always taught that recognising a fault was halfway to curing it. I certainly hope so. Good luck.

It depends on what your adult children think OP - are they pushing back about your behaviour? My dad is someone who I adore, but he is what I call a “fixer” so I don’t tell him about certain things because he will automatically want to take over and “fix” whatever is annoying or upsetting me. I find it irritating, so I choose what to tell him. That said some of his little overbearing habits now just make me laugh. I still have to text when I get home from visiting him or if I’ve driven any distance so he “knows I’m home safe”. And I know that’s because he worries and he loves me, so even as a grown woman I do indulge him with this because I know it’s coming from a place of love. So I go back to - it depends on how your adult children feel about how you act - but be prepared to never be fully in the loop (like my dad) if it gets too much!

You brought your children up (presumably) to become independent adults, capable of making their own decisions and running their own lives.

Of course, remain interested in them - but also trust them to make sensible choices. They are adults - they can vote, buy houses, change jobs, take medical advice, etc etc. Try and treat them as such.

As I said to my 15 year old DG, your kids are your kids no matter how old they are, but, you don’t interfere in their adult lives, unless of course they ask and need your advice.

I think my children have become more sensible than me. They could be termed as helicopter, adult children, always offering advice and fussing. My SIL is the worst!
However, I do know it's because they care.

When my youngest got a holiday job in a town about fifteen miles away, it coincided with her being a very new driver.
I told her to text me the minute she arrived safely, of course she didn’t, and she had turned off her phone.
We were at work, so I made my husband drive to her place of work, and drive up and down the streets till he found her car.
Obviously I’m not as bad now, but admit I’ll be a bit anxious about them all out driving in tomorrows storm.

Not normally, but this week I have been anxious about my daughter and her teenage children fell walking in the Lake District, in the fog, wind and snow on the hill tops. I also urged them to travel home a daily early.

My DD and her husband and their younger daughter are in York at the moment, coming back down south in the next couple of days. I'm going ask her to let me know when they get home, I don't normally, but 100 mile winds make a difference!

Our youngest flys a lot so I do ask him to text on landing, he is otherwise dreadful at keeping in touch!
He famously once wrote to us from school; “they made me write this letter”. We used to have a competition in the family to see who could keep him on the phone the longest.
From 18 he has lived abroad mostly so we have had to just trust he is OK, malaria and dengue fever featured in my dreams!

The middle one is so good now and always keeps us in the loop.
He was a horrendous teenager and didn’t calm down until he was nearly 30, he caused us many sleepless nights.
I once had to dash down to London from Yorkshire as he had a drunken fall that nearly cost him an eye.

The eldest speaks to each of us daily, she was a nightmare too!

We have had many scary moments, disappointments and sleepless nights but have never “micro managed” them.

I dare say I will “helicopter”my kids until I am in my box…?

When I used to travel up to the ex, he always found it amazing that I didn't phone my mum as soon as i arrived.
I always snickered at him when he came down to see me and had to phone his.

Then, after I'd met his parents a couple of times, I reached for my phone the minute I got to his.
To phone his mum and let her know I'd arrived safely!

When DH and I were first married we lived in Conwall.when we went back after a visit I always phoned my parents to say we had arrived safely. We weren't on the phone so I used to go down the road to the phone box!! Fast forward 30 years and it was me asking my DD to phone when she and her DH had arrived home safely after a visit to us! When they go away she always texts us to say they are safe, we do the same to her. My parents till the day they died, always worried when we went away, and were relieved when we were safely back. I'm the same with DD and she is the same with her DD,'s! Apart from that we rarely interfere in each other's lives, neither did my parents with us, only giving advice if it's asked for and then tactfully!

When DS was away at uni in St Andrews, he managed to fall down some steps in ice and break his nose. His friend set off to drive him to hospital, but the Tay Bridge was closed due to high winds. So what did he do? He phoned me!
I told him to call 999 which he did and a police car got him to hospital.
Unless they were sick, I have never fussed over my DC and in their turn they are not HPs either. We worry, of course we do, but we try not to show it.
Texting to say you have arrived home safely is a courtesy I would expect from any guest.

My mother used to phone me in the early morning with disaster stories from her dreams the night before that I had featured in. She genuinely believed that she was protecting me from the perils the day had in store for me. The fact that none of them proved correct did nothing to deter her.