Marriage expectation in the 21st Century

Too many girls are still being brought up to think that, for a woman, the only true measure of success is having a boyfriend/partner/husband.

Too many girls are still being brought up to think that they cannot live a successful life on their own.

I am continually so, so glad my mother's focus was always on getting a good education and a good career, marriage was simply something that most people did, but being happily single was better than being unhappily married.

I think your niece has only ‘dodged a bullet’ because it wasn’t what she wanted. My DD is a stay at home mum and probably will me for many years to come, she wanted that, as did he. She does everything whilst he earns all the money. She is given housekeeping and is happy enough with their life. A life like this is only a problem if one party is not on board, there is no shame and my DD is not weak or downtrodden because she has chosen this for her and her family.

Scentia

I think your niece has only ‘dodged a bullet’ because it wasn’t what she wanted. My DD is a stay at home mum and probably will me for many years to come, she wanted that, as did he. She does everything whilst he earns all the money. She is given housekeeping and is happy enough with their life. A life like this is only a problem if one party is not on board, there is no shame and my DD is not weak or downtrodden because she has chosen this for her and her family.

her choice obvs and i am glad that she is happy...the big but is that its essential that she has some feel for the financial setup even if he manages every penny. Sudden death does happen and its 10 times worse if if the spouse who is left has no idea about where the bank accounts, savings and so on are....equally if your DD becomes ill or worse, her spouse will need to be at very least used to the basics of childcare.

Staying home also relies on the marriage lasting. My grandmother and great grandmothe were both widowed in their mid-30s, both had children and one was pregnant, they had immediately to work out how to earn the money to feed the family. In one case there was a small pension because my grandfather died in WW1, but in the second case - nothing.

That was my my mother put education and a profession ahead of everything else. Now, of course many marriages also end in divorce or desertion.

I fully understand the arrangement this lady and her hussband have chosen, but if everything goes awry, I do hope she has a profession to fall back on.