Have you had any?
When I was about 17, I went go my boyfriends house for the first time and met his dad, who was practicing a song by sitting with a finger in one ear and warbling away. (He was in a band)
His wife kept shouting at him from upstairs, and every now and then he would roll his eyes and mimic her mouth with his hand....
After a while he ignored her and carried on singing "rolling in my sweet baby's arms"
Suddenly she ran down the stairs in her bra and knickers, with the toothpaste tube in hand, then proceeded to squirt a huge dollop on top of his bald head. 
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Dinner at DH's colleague's house. Me wittering on because I was nervous. Told our hostess about our awful neighbours and that how ridiculous they were for eating sprout tops.