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Absent grandchildren

(28 Posts)
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Nannykaggy Thu 10-Oct-19 21:25:45

My son met a girl and accidentally they became parents very quickly. They had twins. The problems I have is they are over an hours drive away. Their mum doesn’t seem to want me in their lives as much as I’d like to be. The twins are 6 months old and I have only seen them 5 times, not through lack of trying. The trouble is her mum was a drug addict so she virtually brought herself up and has been on her own so long I think she finds it hard to accept family. I come from a very close family and I’m finding it so difficult. Does anyone else struggle with not seeing their grandchildren as much as they want?

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leyla Mon 14-Oct-19 08:27:59

Make sure that you are making it clear that you want to see her as much as you want to see the babies.

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silverlining48 Mon 14-Oct-19 10:29:05

She is clearly not used to a caring mother figure and has had a very difficult start. It may be that in time she will relax with you but try not to pressure her too much and as others have said, don’t make it all about the babies.
She is young and stressed at present with two tiny babies and basically us grandparents have to go along with parents wishes regarding their children however we feel.
Actually seeing them once a month isn’t too bad, never overstay, always take an interest in her and never offer an opinion on childcare unless asked. Good luck.

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