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Such a bad day - just a weepy heap

(314 Posts)
Luckygirl Tue 17-Sept-19 16:41:26

Having a really bad time today. Just having serious discussions with family and OH about him going to a nursing home - it is getting to the point where we are struggling to maintain his care at home even with live-in. He grasps that too in his non-paranoid moments. He said he understood but would "treasure every moment" he has left at home with me. That broke my heart. It is unbearable - watching him falling to pieces before my eyes. I really just don't think I can deal with this today - I have no reserves left. And no privacy to be a temporary weeping heap. Just don't know where to turn.

Alexa Mon 23-Sept-19 12:14:17

Luckygirl I bet you will look back on this period as a success because you have given it your entire attention and could have done no more than you did. I would liked to have worked for you when I worked as a carer. I wish you and your much loved husband all the best for the future.

nanaK54 Mon 23-Sept-19 13:36:32

Really hope that all goes well today, keeping everything crossed for you

luluaugust Mon 23-Sept-19 13:49:00

All the best for today Luckygirl.

GabriellaG54 Mon 23-Sept-19 13:53:43

Warmest good wishes for a happy ending today ???☘

Luckygirl Mon 23-Sept-19 14:27:35

WELL.................he loved it!!!!!!!!!!! smile

He looked at 4 rooms and chose the one he wanted, which overlooks the garden with lovely mature trees, now starting their autumn colours. His room is on the ground floor and has French doors opening out onto the garden.

He got on well with all the staff he met and ..........much to my utter astonishment.................he joined in with a story writing group that was going on! - and really enjoyed it!!!!! He was the only man and the women made a bit of a fuss of him.

The person in the room next to him is a doctor, and there is also a dentist there, so OH (a retired doctor) will have some fellow professionals to talk with and compare notes.

I am so, so relieved as you can imagine - but just beginning to worry about the money and I am sure it will cause me many a sleepless night until I get all hat sorted.

I have already filled in the form for council tax reduction! - anyone know of anything else I might be able to claim if I am living alone?

Thank you all so much for your good luck wishes - so appreciated believe me.

humptydumpty Mon 23-Sept-19 14:51:21

That's wonderful news, lucky smile

Septimia Mon 23-Sept-19 15:18:10

Oh, I'm so glad he liked it! I know that there will still be things to sort out, but at least you've got over this hurdle, and better than you feared. Hope the other matters will be resolved fairly easily.

Susan56 Mon 23-Sept-19 15:38:22

Fantastic news lucky?

Gonegirl Mon 23-Sept-19 15:40:15

Great news Luckygirl.

crazyH Mon 23-Sept-19 15:42:54

Great news Lucky.

Auntieflo Mon 23-Sept-19 15:49:13

Oh Lucky, what a result. Such a relief for you and also for your DH.
Now we must all think positive thoughts about the money situation.

Jane10 Mon 23-Sept-19 15:52:37

That's terrific Luckygirl. You couldn't have asked for a happier outcome. Good luck with all the financial shenanigans ahead.

Ginny42 Mon 23-Sept-19 16:08:00

So happy for you both! It sounds ideal, and you couldn't have chosen better companions for him. That is a huge weight off your shoulders and hopefully some knowledgeable GNs will be able to advise on any other entitlements you may have access to. smile

aggie Mon 23-Sept-19 16:12:15

I am so glad for both of you , now breath for a bit xxxx

Calpurnia Mon 23-Sept-19 16:19:47

Wonderful news for both of you. I am so pleased everything went so well. I am sure the care your husband will receive will be excellent - given all the resident medics!

Time to get your house back to yourself and for you to find inner peace at long last.

I do hope the financial matters can be quickly and painlessly sorted out. You have been through enough and deserve to start enjoying your life again. Well done today.

Scribbles Mon 23-Sept-19 16:23:21

What wonderful news. I'm so, so glad for both of you and, once you have him settled in, there will be a breathing space for you to recuperate mentally and physically before you have to start jumping over the money hurdles. (((Hugs))) I hope all goes well with his move and that he's happy there.

Nannylovesshopping Mon 23-Sept-19 16:31:07

This all sounds really good and positive, and at last some peace of mind, ?

dragonfly46 Mon 23-Sept-19 16:32:01

That is fantastic news. I am sure you will be able to sort the funding out. It is a great outcome for both of you.

Granniesunite Mon 23-Sept-19 16:53:59

So pleased for and your DH that today went well. Hopefully the money side will sort out for you too. I'll be in your position in a few years time so I was especially keen to see how it resolved for you. Best wishes.

Willow500 Mon 23-Sept-19 16:58:02

Wonderful news Lucky - you can at least feel happier in the knowledge it's the right place for him. I'm sure things will fall into place regarding the money too.

mostlyharmless Mon 23-Sept-19 17:15:44

So pleased for you Lucky.
It must be a weight off your shoulders.
Good luck.

nanaK54 Mon 23-Sept-19 17:20:41

Great news!

jura2 Mon 23-Sept-19 17:23:50

Fabulous news - so when is the big move x

M0nica Mon 23-Sept-19 17:29:39

What a releif for you.

mcem Mon 23-Sept-19 17:59:44

It isn't easy to admit but one great fear of mine would be that there would be no like-minded fellow residents!
The prospect of a life of bingo and singalongs would terrify me.
I am so pleased to hear that he had found 'neighbours' who might become friends.
Sending very best wishes to both of you. You have done a wonderful job of supporting your DH.