Such a bad day - just a weepy heap

Here's to the next, happier chapter in your lives. ???

Wonderful news!! What a relief! So glad for you both.

Agree with all the foregoing and feeling so pleased for you Lucky.

No bingo and sing-a-longs at this place. It is very up-market! With up-market costs!

Financial advisor and son-IL coming tomorrow morning. Thank goodness as I am really starting to worry about the money now.

Well? you’ll sleep better tonight no doubt. What a relief .

I shouldn’t worry about the money. I’m a great one in believing something will turn up.

Dont worry about the money lucky. I am so, so pleased for you both.

And breathe!

Sounds like he's going to be very content there, Lucky So glad things are moving in the right direction at last.

I really do think he will be content there and I am fully confident that he will be well looked-after and pampered. I can leave him in their care with a clear conscience.

It will cost me dear as I will have to sell our bungalow and move somewhere tiny - but there will only be me so tiny is fine.

The awful unknown is how long I need to plan for financially. It is 3 years since they told me my poor OH was dying; and just 6 months since I brought him home from hospital having been told he would "not last long" - I spent time coming to terms with this; but now I feel in limbo in a weird sort of way: emotionally, financially and in every other possible way. It is very stressful.

But at least I now know that he will be content and that the misery that has been his life since February will be alleviated to the best of everyone's ability.

I will have to sell our bungalow and move somewhere tiny - but there will only be me so tiny is fine.

Take it from me, Lucky, small is beautiful.

Just make sure you have a garden seeing as you've been enjoying your recently found enthusiasm for gardening.

Despite the considerable financial anxiety it sounds like a new chapter for you both and a huge relief knowing that your DH will be getting good professional care in lovely surroundings. Keep us posted!

For what it's worth, I think it sounds best all round.

There will be a way with the cost lucky, there has to be. Sleep well. I hope you will feel much more at ease and are clearer once the FA has been. Sending love.

That must be such a relief!

So pleased to hear that home was suitable and DH liked it, you can get things moving now.

Good to see things are moving ahead positively for you both luckygirl, what a week you’ve had! You will be so relieved and hoping there will be easier days to come.

Well - it has all gone pear-shaped. The home has to sign a contract with SSD in order for SSD to pay their contribution directly to them. The contract that SSD have sent to them is not one for my OH specifically but a general contract for their relationship with SSD into perpetuity. The NH is quite reasonably saying that they need to run this past their lawyers and that this cannot be sorted before Saturday which is when OH is due to go in and when we have no care arranged from.

I was on the phone with the SW trying to see if a way could be found round this and she burst into tears and put the phone down - so where does this leave me?

The NH are prepared to take him in for a 4 week respite stay on full private terms - in fact respite care costs £100 more per week than permanent care. I guess I will have no choice but to do this - what else can I do?

I think it is me who should be bursting into tears.

Oh my word

What ! This is dreadful , just when it seems things are in place , I would be crying too , with rage ! ((((((((hugs))))))))

I am also very puzzled as to why the NH, which must have been under construction for at least a year and is part of a wider care organisation, had not sorted out its relationship with SSD a long time ago.

In fact, a few weeks ago I had a similar problem with the health authority, who has sent me a letter saying they would pay £167 pw if OH went into nursing care; but then rescinded it as they were not familiar with the home and had no contract with it. That did get sorted with the home saying they would sort that out in the fullness of time; but in the meantime they would charge me as if health were chipping in their bit.

Really and truly you couldn't make all this up. Thank god I am not 90 and trying to cope with all this.

Won't the NH let you sign up for just one week respite care? Running the contract past their lawyers is probably a formality. I can't see why it should take very long. Certainly not a 4week long respite care package.

Awful about the social worker letting you down like that.

It must be beneficial for the NH to get this sorted so they can take other residents in the future under the same terms as your DH.

Try not to get too down about this. All is not lost. You'll get there.

And I think the NH should let you have the "respite care" at the same price as permanent care, knowing that that is what you are working towards. Could you ask them if they would?

I'll shut up now.

Whilst I agree with gonegurl, I think you should do whatever it takes Lucky! Nearly there!!!!

What a day you’ve had lucky. As you say you couldn’t make it up but kitty is right, you’re nearly there. It will get sorted, hang on in there.