I too have been feeling 'derailed' if that is the right term. Without going into too much identifying details, a relative was not what I thought he was and ruined a special event, an event which will not be repeated, and a sibling lost his rag with me and said some terrible things which cannot be forgotten. This year has been a terrible one, all the basis on which I thought my life was based, the bedrock of family, has apparently been a lie. I am thankful for my DH and my adult children and my friends, but face 'polite' interaction only with my sibling and his partner, all closeness has gone, evidently it was all pretence. I know we don't wish to bring politics into it, but I listen to politicians telling lies, watch Trump strutting about the world stage pretending to be a grown up and I feel as if the world is spinning on its axis.