dancing queen

My 50+ DD went through the Prom anguish so it ain't that new

The school leavers prom is an American import. When my children left school in the late eighties there was no prom but I first heard of it around 1990. The extravagance is nonsense. It must be a nightmare for many parents.

PS
next DD had 3 dresses , she partnered 3 different boys at three different schools

All my children had a 'Leaver's Ball'. In my view the name is much classier but the anguish was probably the same!

Dd3 couldn't find what she wanted so her friend's mum offered to make one for her. It was horrendous but she felt obliged to wear it so we spent a fortune getting it subtly altered.

DGD1 went through it 11 years ago; this year, now the GCSEs are over, DGD2 is preparing for the big night. When I saw her three weeks ago, she said she was growing her hair for it. Big sister is going to 'do' it for her. Whether the problem of finding a dress is over, I don't know, but then it was ongoing. Boys don't have half the angst that girls have. A rented tuxedo is about as far as it goes. I remember GD1's half-brother had a white tux and looked rather sophisticated. I don't think a stretch limo is to be hired. Dad is probably under orders for the big night.

I hate it I think it’s an awful thing and so got so far out of control everyone outdoing others in their style of arrival Cadillacs, helicopters, their clothes, £300 for a dress for one night the anguish, if you haven’t got a boyfriend it’s awful I wish it would go back to US where it popped up from
My kids had an end of school life disco nothing exotic great
I had goodbye hugs and a goodbye shake of hands with the teachers got outside, cried, threw our hats up laughed and got on with life

It's not as big an event here as in the US...yet...but it's an appalling waste of money anyway IMO.

We had a 6th form dance and that was it. I dare say there was as much angst over what to wear. I had just split up with my boyfriend so my aunt arranged an escort for me. He was friendly with other girls in my year that I wasn't close to and we spent most of the evening with them. Not my most enjoyable experience, especially since the ex-boyfriend got stroppy about the revised arrangements!

To have something to mark leaving school at 16 or 18 is fair enough, but it does seem to be getting out of hand. A 'prom' for primary school children is just daft.

I loathe oneupmanship of any kind and if this doesn't teach kids this insidious way of life I don't know what does.
2 years ago it was the turn of my GGC ( twins ) and their time for leaving primary school at 11 so the palava began.
My GD sent for half a dozen different dresses coming from China ( ebay ) cheap but pretty, the equivalent of the cost of one dress here !

After choosing one dress my GD then handed in 5 to the school for those less fortunate. There was also a 3pc suit for the male twin from the same source as the dresses. I have some beautiful photo's of that day and my D who owns a black Chrysler fitted as many children in the car as was possible for their big day so as to look the part for the few underprivileged who were full of excitement.

The smiles from them all were worth more than any price paid to look better than the next child !

They even have proms for pre-schools these days - ridiculous in my opinion!

Our local primary school has a prom,the streets have been awash with stretch limos that cant actualy turn in this street and as its a cul de sac there's no alternative.My oldest GD is at a small village school and theres only 12 in her class ...just 2 of them girls .No prom ,a Sunday day out at an activity centre and dinner at an Italian restaurant owned by one of her classmates family and gifted by his dad .Much more age appropriate too than the full makeup and dresses that are far too old for 12 year olds I've seen leaving my street.

Like Kittylester, mine had “Leavers Balls” I can’t recall any expense apart from a dress

My granddaughter however, seemed to take months planning it, enormous expense for my daughter, then she was excluded a few days before for a fairly minor demeanour, my daughter managed to persuade them to let her go, so luckily all was not lost!

In the photos, the girls all looked amazing, like models, but it seems a stupid amount of fuss and expense to me!

There was nothing at my school, we just left!

Was I the only one who saw the title of the thread and immediately thought of the cringing moment Theresa May robotically ‘danced’ on stage at the Conservative party conference last year to ‘Abba’?

?

EllanVannin
less fortunate, underprivileged ?
Those words, in the context of the thread, sound condescending.
Sounds like posturing to me.
I hope your daughter basked in the glow.

Mid 60s leaving disco. I wore an Aran sweater and tartan pleated skirt. I was hot in more ways than one !!

EllanVannin this was for 11 year olds leaving primary school?

paddyann I think something similar is being planned for DGC's class of primary school leavers, but probably an activity followed by a bbq.
I can say no more, it's a surprise

GabriellaG54, we don't do " basking " in our neck of the woods. Nor do I do condescending.

In the real world, not yours, there are lots of underprivileged children in case you haven't noticed and we as a family help out where help is needed.

What do you find that's wrong in that ?

We spend time and effort bringing up our children to believe appearances are less important than personality; that character is preferable to the prodigal spending of money.

And yet we stand back year after year and allow this imported parade of trivial, inconsequential, expensive nonsense which reinforces every negative stereotype and excludes children whose parents cannot afford such ridiculous artifice, to continue.

Despite so many parents being very much against it

If every parent who disagreed with the profligacy, made this clear to the schools - and asked to go back to the casual end-of-term party, I'd like to bet the majority of teenagers would sigh with relief that they are no longer to be put under such appalling pressure - and can actually enjoy the evening of music, food and fun.

Well said BradfordLass72.

Callistemon, I know it was for 11 year olds, my GGD was one 2 years ago, leaving primary school ! ( rolls eyes )

Agree with BradfordLass. I find the prom idea wrong on so many levels. It does exclude students whose parents cannot afford the dress, transport, hair, nails, shoes plus the after party! Tickets themselves are not cheap. My sister paid over £300 for my neice’s prom dress & that was 5 years ago.
It is very materialistic, plus the pressure of which boy is going to the prom with which girl.
In the school where I used to teach, they have the whole big prom thing at 16 (end of year 11) as they all have to go onto education or training, many of them stay at the school for sixth form, at the end of sixth form they have a leavers barbecue - much more inclusive!
As well as the prom let’s not forget the Year Books and Leavers Hoodies - again more expense for parents.

When my younger son was in his final year at high school, planning for the Summer prom by some over-enthusiastic parents started after Hallowe'en the previous year.

As other posters have described, the whole bandwagon started to roll - organising frocks for the lasses, highland dress for the lads, hair and nail apps, tanning sessions, limousines, photographers etc etc. More time and effort was put into this event by some than was ever expended on studying or preparing for exams.

Then, the week before the big occasion, a minor infringement of a school rule resulted in three pupils being banned from attending the prom. Appeals were made to overturn what seemed to be a harsh punishment, but to no avail. As a result, many kids withdrew from attending as a protest. Instead, they held a dress- down BBQ and bonfire on the beach, wearing jeans and eating hotdogs and having great fun.

Twelve years later, my boy's pals still have an annual beach party to share happy memories of that night and talk about the prom that never was.