Gransnet forums

Chat

Having a bad day.

(140 Posts)
merlotgran Sat 13-Apr-19 12:11:09

I'm not able to focus on anything today, even light hearted threads on gransnet (I'm avoiding any sad ones). Yesterday we were told that chemo is no longer an option for DD's gall bladder cancer and she is now under the palliative care team as her liver is failing. I'm beginning to doubt she will ever come out of hospital even though hospice at home is being discussed. The sight of her lovely clear skin and big brown eyes so jaundiced makes me weep.

I managed to hold it together yesterday (almost) but today I'm a wreck. I can't bear to go in the garden because this time of the year is all about hope and planning. I can't bear the view across the fens - too many memories of the children growing up. I can't be bothered to cook, I can't focus on reading or watching telly.

I don't have to visit today because others are going so at least I'm spared the drive. The pain is almost unbearable but has to be endured Poor DH just doesn't know what to do with himself. We thought we'd try planting main crop potatoes but CBA.

I know I must expect this awful helplessness. Others go through it, we're no different but God, it's hard.

morethan2 Sat 13-Apr-19 15:48:59

I have been thinking of you since I read of your heartbreaking news on another thread. There is nothing I can say or do to ease your pain. I’m thinking of you and your family. I can only say how very very sorry I am.

Nonnie Sat 13-Apr-19 15:49:16

So sorry Merlot imo all you can do is keep on keeping on and only do what you absolutely have to do or what you feel like doing. Sometimes we feel the need to be busy but don't want to do anything. So very hard.

Post here if you feel like it, so much support but if you don't feel like posting just don't. I am sure we will all understand. flowers

Wobbles Sat 13-Apr-19 15:49:37

My heart goes out to you flowers

annsixty Sat 13-Apr-19 15:57:41

Merlotflowers
I have just left my H in hospital waiting now to hear that he has been moved to a local community hospital for palliative and end of life care.
He is 83 ,has had a good, long life and it is the time for nature to take its course.
To lose a young person is unbearably hard and my heart goes out to you all.

jusnoneed Sat 13-Apr-19 15:57:48

Sorry to hear such sad news, cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling.

merlotgran Sat 13-Apr-19 16:06:08

Thank you so much, everyone. I'm feeling a little better thanks to DGD2 (different family) who has an offer of a place to study medicine at King's and has been there today to sort out accommodation. She's been sending me photos throughout the day. We're very proud of her achievement and her excitement has lifted us. morethan I know you are going through similar anguish. It's so hard but kind thoughts and messages help a lot especially as I'm avoiding friends in the village because I can't talk. Really can't get more than a few words out. I feel safe at home.

Callistemon Sat 13-Apr-19 16:10:06

I have no words either, merlotgran, except to say that thoughts and prayers are with you all
flowers

B9exchange Sat 13-Apr-19 16:23:53

Bless you, I am glad that everyone's kind thoughts here are giving you a tiny bit of comfort, I too am thinking of you, it is so wrong to lose a child, at any age, and you must be feeling so helpless, angry and despairing. I pray that you will be able to get your daughter home, our local Hospice at Home are completely brilliant in their support, not just for the patient, but the family too, do make use of that if you possibly can. I hope you are in touch with organisations such as Marie Curie too? I can't send you real flowers, but this is the best I can do with a big virtual hug!

Kalu Sat 13-Apr-19 16:32:47

Oh Merlot, you and your daughter have been in my thoughts since you told us the awful news of her diagnosis.

My heart goes out to you and your DH and your darling girl.

Whenever you need to vent and pour your heart out remember you have friends here who will always willingly help in any way we can. ?

farview Sat 13-Apr-19 16:35:08

Oh Merlot..that is heartbreaking news for you and your family..do what you can..when you can... sending hugs,love and prayers. .lean on us all here on gransnet..our shoulders...will hold you up...night and day...?

Greyduster Sat 13-Apr-19 16:46:08

Can only echo what others have said, Merlot and my heart truly goes out to you. You will always have a shoulder to lean on here. Your GD’s news will have let a little sunshine in for you. There are always chinks of light in the darkest dark.???

MamaCaz Sat 13-Apr-19 16:47:18

I know that I have no words that will help you through this most awful time, but I still wanted to say that my heart goes out to you sad flowers

GinJeannie Sat 13-Apr-19 16:48:01

What a dreadfully heavy load you have been given to bear, everyone on GN, I am sure, feels for you. We all, regardless of beliefs, wish you and your DH and DGD the strength to cope with the situation. Please use GN, we are all there for you and send our love. x

Buffybee Sat 13-Apr-19 16:55:08

I am so sorry flowers

Cherrytree59 Sat 13-Apr-19 17:03:01

So sorry Merlot.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
I wish I could provide comfort but a child is so precious.
thanks

Katyj Sat 13-Apr-19 17:04:12

So so sorry to hear this.Sending you and your daughter lots of strength and love .flowersflowers

kittylester Sat 13-Apr-19 17:09:49

But, well done to your dgd! merlot.

NanTheWiser Sat 13-Apr-19 17:22:39

flowersflowersflowers

Gonegirl Sat 13-Apr-19 17:25:44

So glad to hear that news from your granddaughter has helped a little through the day merlot. She sounds a GD to be really proud of.

SueDonim Sat 13-Apr-19 17:30:41

Dear Merlot, my heart goes out to you. My beloved sibling is in a similar situation and it's agony to watch the decline taking place. I cannot imagine how many times magnified your pain must be when it's your precious child you're watching. I am so sorry. Xx

labazsisslowlygoingmad Sat 13-Apr-19 17:38:13

flowers

luluaugust Sat 13-Apr-19 17:39:42

So very sad to read your news, thoughts with you and the family flowers

Alima Sat 13-Apr-19 17:57:12

I am so sorry Merlot, my thoughts are with you and your family.

tinaf1 Sat 13-Apr-19 17:58:23

? thinking of you

Nannylovesshopping Sat 13-Apr-19 18:13:06

So so sad for you and your beloved family