Embarrassing gaffe

I was in a department store in a strange to me town. Went into the ladies, entered a cubicle and whilst there heard the entrance door open and close a few times. I never heard a cubicle door open or close though. Wondered why people seemed to just be coming in then leaving. On emerging to wash my hands I found a row of urinals where I expected washand basins to be. Talk about quick exit. On getting to the door a group of men were on the other side just about to enter. On seeing me with scarlet face one commented I surely hadn't found anything to interest me that I was leaving. Now I absolutely scrutinise the signs on public toilets.

I worked as an estate agent and was inside a house waiting for a viewer. I was chatting to the owners when the door bell went. I told them I would get it as it would be the viewer. I introduced myself to the man and said should we start upstairs. I had shown him a couple of the bedrooms and the bathroom when he turned to me and said 'I've just come here to pick up my mate and go fishing'. Dashed downstairs to find the real viewer waiting outside.

I have had lodgers on and off for years and found out awhile ago that those behind the nets had put out afew times about my toy boys Worse cause I brought up my son's on my own and paid off the house the nasty minded also more than once put out I must be on the game There are some sad people around whose lives are So small gossip is the only thing that keeps them going

Many years ago I used to work, occasionally, in a radio station.
They had one of those phone-in programmes and we often got rabid racists and malcontents letting off steam.

Once after the DJ had field such a call, very diplomatically, I said, 'I couldn't do your job Dave, these morons would drive me mad.'

The next caller said, "Hello, I'm the next moron...'

The microphone had been open and neither Dave nor I had noticed.

I can remember when I was at the local toddler group (many years ago). A new member came in and she and her child sat down by themselves. To welcome her I went over and sat down beside her and started to chat. I asked the usual questions and enquired if she was enjoying living in our village. She said she was, apart from her awful neighbours, who had been most unwelcoming, with her in particular ignoring her and not even replying when she said hello. I responded that this was a shame and where did she live. Turned out her neighbours were my b and sil. I explained the situation and she was very embarrassed. However I said not to worry, my sil ignored me too, as well as half the village, even crossing the road to avoid speaking!

My mum once spent 20 minutes talking to a friend, Mary who she hadn't seen for quite a while, as she had moved house. They covered all the usual small talk, about recent holidays, and family- yes, Mary's husband Derick was well, etc.

After twenty minutes, a name was mentioned that Mum didn't recognise, and it was only then that they discovered that this particular 'Mary' must have dialled the wrong number, and they were actually total strangers!