Embarrassing gaffe

My mum once spent 20 minutes talking to a friend, Mary who she hadn't seen for quite a while, as she had moved house. They covered all the usual small talk, about recent holidays, and family- yes, Mary's husband Derick was well, etc.

After twenty minutes, a name was mentioned that Mum didn't recognise, and it was only then that they discovered that this particular 'Mary' must have dialled the wrong number, and they were actually total strangers!

I can remember when I was at the local toddler group (many years ago). A new member came in and she and her child sat down by themselves. To welcome her I went over and sat down beside her and started to chat. I asked the usual questions and enquired if she was enjoying living in our village. She said she was, apart from her awful neighbours, who had been most unwelcoming, with her in particular ignoring her and not even replying when she said hello. I responded that this was a shame and where did she live. Turned out her neighbours were my b and sil. I explained the situation and she was very embarrassed. However I said not to worry, my sil ignored me too, as well as half the village, even crossing the road to avoid speaking!

Many years ago I used to work, occasionally, in a radio station.
They had one of those phone-in programmes and we often got rabid racists and malcontents letting off steam.

Once after the DJ had field such a call, very diplomatically, I said, 'I couldn't do your job Dave, these morons would drive me mad.'

The next caller said, "Hello, I'm the next moron...'

The microphone had been open and neither Dave nor I had noticed.

I have had lodgers on and off for years and found out awhile ago that those behind the nets had put out afew times about my toy boys Worse cause I brought up my son's on my own and paid off the house the nasty minded also more than once put out I must be on the game There are some sad people around whose lives are So small gossip is the only thing that keeps them going

I worked as an estate agent and was inside a house waiting for a viewer. I was chatting to the owners when the door bell went. I told them I would get it as it would be the viewer. I introduced myself to the man and said should we start upstairs. I had shown him a couple of the bedrooms and the bathroom when he turned to me and said 'I've just come here to pick up my mate and go fishing'. Dashed downstairs to find the real viewer waiting outside.

I was in a department store in a strange to me town. Went into the ladies, entered a cubicle and whilst there heard the entrance door open and close a few times. I never heard a cubicle door open or close though. Wondered why people seemed to just be coming in then leaving. On emerging to wash my hands I found a row of urinals where I expected washand basins to be. Talk about quick exit. On getting to the door a group of men were on the other side just about to enter. On seeing me with scarlet face one commented I surely hadn't found anything to interest me that I was leaving. Now I absolutely scrutinise the signs on public toilets.

Years ago when my brother was a mechanic in his first job (in Wales) he was working on a car when the owner was talking to the owner of the garage about my brother, nattering away in Welsh, she said my brother was doing a good job then said it was just as well he couldn't understand her. As she was leaving he said thanks and goodbye to her in Welsh Why she assumed he couldn't speak Welsh we are not sure unless she hadn't seen him there before.

My mother in law answered the phone to find the caller asking for her son by name. Who may I say is calling? Professor Batty he said. Thinking it was someone having her on she replied “by name & by nature?” He went on to say of Exeter University. He was ringing to offer her son a place at University!

I was at uni as a mature student. One day, a group of us were sitting drinking coffee when another mature student (short and plump) pulled out some photos of her as a younger woman, looking very slim and attractive.
At some point, what was meant to be an appreciative comment came out of my mouth as "gosh, didn't you look different back then"!
She'd never liked me, and although she showed no sign of having heard my spontaneous comment, it certainly couldn't have done anything to improve matters!

I have a male close friend who is gay. Several years ago he was on the bus to his mums and I picked him up at the bus stop. Anyway this particular night two ladies were on the bus behind him.
“ Oh he’s here again “
“I know I think he has got a girlfriend “
Oh I thought he was you know “
“Well she looked like a girl from the back!” Replied the other one.
I have no Idea what I look like from the front but at least I know I look like a girl from the back!!

Many years ago when we had a folding caravan we were travelling round Wales. We had gone some distance on a hot day and we arrived tired and wanting to go to the loo. The toilet block was not as clean as I would have liked and I walked through, pushing back the doors to try and find a cubicle that looked OK. I pushed back one door and there was a middle aged man sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper. He, quite unabashed, looked up and simply said "Afternoon". I'd mistaken the men's block for the women's block! Thank goodness we had planned to travel on and go to another site and left early the next morning - I would have been so embarrassed to see him again.

I never seem to learn to, as my Dad used to say "engage brain before opening mouth". At a social event a lady said how excited she was to have received her Freedom Pass in the post that morning. Another lady said she didn't look old enough to be eligible for one. I said you only had to be 60 to get the Freedom Pass (London pass). I suddenly realised, from the awkward silence that ensued, that what I was actually saying was "You look 60 but you don't look 65+" - and, on reflection, she probably doesn't look 60 but it was too late to put things right.

Yes breeze hobbit feet! PamelaJl thank you for reassuring me that the Consultant did believe me and it happens to your clients too. So we don't have mankie feet! Oh what a laugh reading all these embarrassing gaffs, it's good fun!

As I drove into the supermarket car park I noticed a blue Honda Civic car identical to mine, even the registration number was similar. I parked next to the car and as the driver got out I shouted "snap" and waving my arms about for good measure. He gave me a strange look and hurried off with his head down. Only then did I realise I had borrowed my daughter's car, a green Yaris.

When I was a young new Saturday girl in our local supermarket, I heard a call for someone over the broadcast system, so, I turned and said to my colleague “oh that’s a funny name!” And yes, it was her! Golly did I feel embarrassed- and sorry for her!

I must say I’ve had a great laugh at these posts! I must have a warped sense of humour!

I was on a hen do once...drinks in town with a lovely group of ladies. This one guy kept coming up trying to make conversation, i humoured him for a while but it was annoying, I was married and just wanted to enjoy myself with my girlfriends. After one too many approaches I turned to one of our group...it was the hen,s best friend who I didn’t know very well and said to her ‘I wish that bloke would bugger off, he’s really annoying not to mention not at all attractive’ she looked at me with a mangled grin on her face ‘that’s my brother’ I seem to remember I blustered my way out of it...

On a holiday to Berlin with my DD I needed the loo at the airport. I don't speak German but DD does. I mistakenly headed into the gents and she followed me without checking. Once inside we realised our mistake and beat a hasty retreat getting some very strange looks from the men going in as we left.

He believed you rascal.
It’s happened to my clients lots of times?

I didn't use to wear my glasses when I went swimming. One day as I was walking down the steps into the pool I noticed that the woman next to me on my way down was wearing the same swimsuit as me. I nudged her and pointed to it while laughing. She said nothing. I thought 'miserable besom'. Back in the changing room I discovered that I was wearing my other swimsuit. Poor woman must have wondered why I was pointing at her and laughing.
I wear my glasses in the pool these days.

rascal lol hobbit feet

I had a bath and put lotion on my feet the night before my appointment with the Consultant Rheumatologist. That morning I put on a pair of new black cotton socks. At the appointment the Rheumatologist asked to examine my feet, I have RA. I took my new socks off and to my horror my lovely clean feet were black! They were covered in black fluff or something from the socks! I was mortified as my feet looked dirty. I explained to him that my feet were clean and were black off the new socks. The worst part was that he didn't acknowledge what I had said. So it left me wondering if he believed me or not and was he thinking I hadn't washed my feet in years! Any appointment after that I do not put lotion on my feet.

A ranting email sent to my teenage daughter (by me) about the state of her room and horrors of old food etc discovered under her bed during my spring clean when she was away from home was accidentally sent to everyone in my address book! Aged relatives and business colleagues as well!!

I sat close to two women in a tea shop who were discussing a local man who was fairly well known, and saying how surprised everyone had been because he had suddenly married a woman half his age, and how they would love to know what went on in that house behind those gates. I wish I had said that the woman was my lovely daughter, and that it certainly wasn't 'sudden' - he had taken about five years to persuade her to go out for a meal with him! 'Decided that discretion was best, drank my tea and left.

There were 2 young women in a class I was teaching. They looked alike and I kept mixing them up. One, Christine, didn't mind but the other, Jennifer thought I should know them by now.
Christine was pregnant and as she began to show I gradually stopped mixing them up.
Come end of term and I was walking up princes street and who should I bump into but Christine. Hi what did you have? I greeted her. I'm the other one. I'm Jennifer she replied.

I borrowed a GPS to help me on a drive to London where I had to find a particular address. As I did not know how to work the thing my friend set it up for me and told me not to swtich it off until I got to the address. On the way I stopped at a motorway service. I put te GPS in my pocket. While at the services I decided to use the loo. Standing at the urinal I was relieving my bladder when a female voice in my pocket boomed out, "Wrong way. Turn around when possible". The line of guys at the urinals looked at me as the voice repeated the insrtruction overe and over again We all started to laugh! It was hilarious.

Orelse years ago a family friend would often ring up pretending to be someone else. One day Mum got a call from townwhereIlived murder squad. Mum assumed it was the friend as he was a policeman, but as she was telling him off thought that surely he wouldn't say something like that. It was the murder squad as someone had been murdered near my home and they had been doing house to house enquiries - I'd been visiting Mum at the time, never occurred to me that they'd check up on my alibi, so I hadn't told her!! Oops.