Finding the positive place

I'm in my positive place! Came home from hospital after 7 weeks, dreadful reaction to my first session of chemo for breast cancer, followed by sepsis, kidney failure, and dialysis. Am much better, should have had two more sessions by now, but deferring it until after the operation at the end of next week, not giving the darned thing any more time to grow! The look on my tiny granddaughters' faces when I got home was heart-melting. Yes, definitely my happy, safe, positive space!

Dear Grannymodh Welcome home!

GrannyMosh

GrannyMosh

Keeping away from negative people!

Has to be the right book, Gonegirl. Georgette Heyer Regency romance is a good group.Re-reading some of those is a positive place. Elly Griffiths detective books with Dr Ruth. I like spending time with the people in those books. Sorothy Sayers, Peter Wimsey ones are good too. Louise Penny's Inspector Gamache ones all seem to happen in a perfect place and I like those people too.

An E reader with a tea or coffee is my salvation when south west weather prevents me from a walk on the beach or getting out to my garden which is in dire need of attention.

It sounds horribly Pollyanna-ish - but I keep a Joy Jar. Anything that makes me smile, or gives me joy in any form, gets written on a slip of paper and put in the jar; so that on bad days, I can dip in the jar and remember, say, seeing 7 hares boxing on a field, or remembering a compliment someone paid me on a new brooch.

Reading anything by M C Beaton - the Agatha Raisin novels are my fave. I've read nearly all of them and there's not one that's been a duffer. And Agatha has loads of faults so I find it dead easy to identify with her!

So that makes me feel positive.

Getting up each morning with a purpose ..... and heading straight off to a yoga class or a spinning class as my No.1 priority to me before anything else bogs me down or takes over my time!

When I get back home around 10.30 am I feel positive, energized and good about myself and the world around me. At 76 I am grateful and thankful for my life and my surroundings.

If possible, get out of the house, visit a coffee place, restaurant or Coffee Morning and don't be afraid to get into conversation. It works wonders.

Keeping busy doing thingsI like and not worrying about what I can't control. Facing the inevitable is not worth thinking about, it's inevitable.

My happy place is in my mind. At the end of the day before I go to sleep I think about the home that I will have in the future when my circumstances change and I am able to move.

I really need help to find one.
I am worn out mentally and physically.

Me too annsixty but for very different reasons than you. Please be kind to yourself you have such a lot to deal with, it’s not fair xx

That’s exactly what I do HappyAmI

I lie and think about how things will be different in my next life . I will still have my lovely children and grandchildren but everything else will be much nicer. I can always walk through woods and lie on a sunny beach in my imagination .

Yes, I understand that ann and gilly, its where I am at the moment. The things that did work somehow don't now, I need space for a re-group and a couple of days to just focus on myself. Sounds very selfish doesn't it? It can't happen at the moment for a number of reasons, life eh? Be as kind to yourselves as you can everyone.

I've practised Shotokan karate for twenty three years. I train and teach three times a week. Our training sessions are ninety minutes long and I can honestly say that, for ninety minutes three times a week, I think of nothing but karate, no matter what else is going on in my life. It's very restful. If I'm finding it hard to sleep, I practise a kata or two in my mind. It really helps. Karate is a brilliant activity. It's physical exercise, both aerobic and anaerobic, but it's also mental exercise because you never stop learning and refining, so you don't get bored, as you might with the gym or with other mindless exercise e.g. aerobics or zumba. Karate is also sociable. Everyone is like minded and friendly. You can go at your own pace too.

So, my advice is to look for an absorbing hobby, preferably something you can learn and practise with others but also independently, something that requires concentration. It doesn't have to be physically demanding. You can get that by other means. It's the commitment to something you can learn, and keep learning (for twenty three years and more!) that helps to exclude negative thoughts.

Be creative.
Learn a language (there are free on line courses at FutureLearn and a 'community')
Learn to paint or sculpt.
Learn to sew, knit, crochet, throw pots, screen print... (Eye test and glasses of necessary!)
Volunteer.

Moxeyns that's so therapeutic.
I tend to sit on our rocking chair watching Escape to the Country or doing Sudoku or reading. It works best when I have the house to myself

Sunshine, trees, grass, my hobbies, "me" time, anywhere peaceful, family, grandchildren etc.

I can get very down, especially on Sundays, but I know it will pass as it is not in my nature. I am lucky enough to usually be a positive person.
I am trying not to worry about things I cannot control which is hard but today the sun is shining and I am about to take the granddog out for a long walk. I love the simple things.

I am so sorry to hear how down many of you are. Problems can seem insurmountable but I do hope you can work through them.

Grannymosh I am shocked to read of your experience. At least you are in Germany where the health service is excellent. I had assumed everything was going to plan. I do hope your operation goes well and the follow-up treatment is successful.

Sending all those in need

There are days when I feel I would like to be on a blowy beach, alone, walking along barefoot and letting the waves run over my feet. It is, for me, rejuvenating and puts all the madness in the world (and occasionally my life) into place.

It would be a drive to get to the coast so the next best place would be either in the conservatory, when it's warm, watching the birds in the garden, or in my favourite armchair with a book and a cup of tea. Alone.

For all those that are in real need of switching off for a while, I hope you can find a place and time to do it soon. I know for some it could never be that easy.

Believe it or today in International Happiness Day! Maybe check out Action for Happiness website. Lots of ideas and resources....

I know it’s not easy for some to stay positive, with all that is going on in their lives.

Gardening is my hobby, and fresh air every day, birds singing etc is very soothing ( and good excercise.)
Also realising that in the great scheme of things our affairs are paltry.
Helps me stay positive and calm.

I think "International Happiness Day" is a ridiculous idea.

There's something about being absorbed in an activity and losing track of time. That happens to me when I'm reading or watching TV and especially when I'm writing. Such a sense of satisfaction when a story/ chapter is finished.
I enjoy looking forward to things too: eg the DGSs are coming after school today, lunch out with my friend next week and also I love planning holidays - that can be almost better than going.
I'm feeling happy and contented right now but I know that can be very transitory. Sending best wishes to those not feeling so positive.