Jokes 2019

Donald Trumps new bodyguard was very nervous on his first day. Trump was giving a speech when the bodyguard saw an assassin creeping up. He shouted out ‘Mickey Mouse’. Trump moved and all was well. Bodyguard’s boss was pleased but said ‘Why did you shout Mickey Mouse’ ? Well he said I was nervous and meant to say ‘Donald ...duck!’

In these bleak days (snow & politics) it would maybe life our spirits to have a giggle.
Trawling through the forum that was popular on GN in 2012 / 2013/. 2014 I liked this one:

Mick was having no luck finding a girlfriend and decided to discuss it with his doctor. The doctor asked him about his hobbies. Mick told him that he liked to go swimming. "Ah", said the doctor, "I think that next time you go swimming, you should put a potato in your swimming trunks and parade round the pool. Try it and come back and see me again to report progress". Two weeks later Mick returned to his doctor. "Now Mick, how did you get on?" he asked. "Well doctor," he said "I took your advice". "Yes? and how did you get on?" asked the doctor. "Well, all the girls screamed and got out of the pool and ran into the changing rooms!" said Mick sadly. "do you know what, doctor, next time I think I'll try putting the potato in the FRONT of my trunks".

Good idea. I can never remember jokes so can't tell one but hopefully others will

Thanks Urmsongran. Much appreciated.