Betrayed

You sound as though you’re doing a wonderful job. Remember to be kind to yourself too.
At the moment my son, partner and 2 little ones are staying with us because of escalating problems with a neighbour. Big change for us but we want to be there for them but they’re not talking about going home and I’m wonder what the next step will be.
Good luck

So sorry to hear this. If your DGD is in school she can get counselling via school quicker possibly. Also get your son to contact Gingerbread for single parents and go to the support meetings. Offer to babysit if needed. Also get him to chat in online groups if he needs to offload anonymously and look at Meet-Ups online for his local area to expand his social life and invariably his support network. Above all don’t join in the criticism of Ex-DIL even if he or children do. Stay neutral and be the listening ear they need but remember to care for yourself too or you won’t be any use to them x

This also happened in our family but in reverse. It was my daughter and two GC who did the suffering over the years. SiL never did a thing for her or the children, didn't do a thing in the house and when my D took over the mortgage in 2016 after handing over half the value, her half went towards double-glazed windows ( of which there weren't any ) re-building a fireplace, skips, and the general worry of working until she's 70 !

GS fortunately still lives at home and GD is a single mother with children living elsewhere.

EX-SiL was already living with one of his g/friends.He's now in hospital having heart surgery following a heart attack 2 weeks ago. Karma ? You bet !

Sorry if this sounds harsh on my part but my D and GC went through the mill over the years and it affected all of them. So now it's his turn for a taster of how they all felt.
I hide my thoughts/feelings from my GC, who are now in their 30's.

The best of luck,the advice on Gransnet always seems very helpful so sad when family have such pain,keep in touch will help to write the problems down.

Just eep going patricia65, however hard and distressing it is at the present it will get easier. Good advice for our son to recheck his entitlement to the pay off. Stand strong and keep going. x

Pamhill4 Good advice.

Just keep showing your son and the children that you love them, that's all you can do. They WILL come through this.

As a Mum who has seen her own son come close to a nervous breakdown after 3 years of trauma which cost him and his bank account every penny of his hard-won 20-year savings, I can relate to your story.

I qualified as a erson-centred counsellor in 1996 and part of receiving that success was not only to have forty hours of counselling myself but to also carry out one hundred and twenty hours of counselling + supervision (for which I paid an already qualified counsellor for this all-important supervision. If push come to shove, is there a college near your granddaughter which offers the diploma in counselling (known both as person-centred counselling and humanistic counselling), where students wishing to qualify are looking for clients who need counselling support?

It's just a thought .... .