And the award for "The Most Stupid Question" goes to.........

It must be hard going through life without a sense of humour.....

I was a volunteer on a 1 mile wide by 2 mile long island a while ago. I was asked "Is there any sea nearby?" They had just had a 15 minute boat trip to access the island!

Grandad1943 sorry to hear about your colleague, I'm currently trying to hold the fort in our small business while the boss is in hospital (again) with leukemia, and, like you I'm doing extra time in the office to try to keep it all going for the benefit of the rest of the team.

However, it does not prevent me from having a sense of humour, nor does it lead me to make somewhat snide remarks!

Apologies if I have taken your posts the wrong way, always try to give the benefit of the doubt but....................

PS May I add that perhaps GN should have a new "award" one for managing to bugger up what was meant to be a light hearted thread!

Please form an orderly queue with your nominations!

I think the problem may lie in the fact that while we men are not, by all accounts, good at multi-tasking, we are addicted to multi-thinking. We are so concerned with the great issues of the day - trying to work out whether Jose Mourinho could be persuaded to take on Barnier, Tusk and Juncker for us now he has time on his hands; pondering the relative merits of Trump and Macron as first change bowlers for the England cricket team; and why all brownfield sites cannot be turned into golf courses - that we may seem a little distrait when brought down to earth by the mundane pressures of family life, which are frankly beyond us.

Forgive us, for we know not what you do!

Thank you grumppa for getting us back on track to a lighthearted thread!

Kisses on the bottom, too!

Forgive us, for we know not what you do!
Alas grumppa we know only too well what the Misandry and Inclusivity Officer does, as we hear about it at interminable kength or possibly (yawn )

Anitampl did you not ask for permission to speak?

Actually, Maw as I complied yet another "to do, still to buy" list, I did point out to Mr P that he really doesn't have a clue as to what the person charged with organising the food etc (It would never cross his radar that bread sauce means extra milk!) so I think Grumppa's "Forgive us, for we know not what you do!" was meant kindly!

grumppa

Is Mr P winning so far?
I'm not sure about the man in Poundland though because I picked up a ball of yarn in one of those Pound shops the other day, confidently handed over £1 at the till whereupon the lady said 'sorry love, it's £1.29'!
(He could be in the first 10)

As one of the Assignment handlers said when she came in and somebody showed her this thread, " those posts must all come from people who are absolutely perfect wives and partners"
Well done to that wise woman - very perspicacious!

^It must be hard going through life without a sense of humour.....^
Grannybags I'm not sure that it is - it must be harder for those all around any such person who lacks a sense of humour.

Apologies if you took it amiss Grumppa sincerely not meant that way xx

DH always gives 'a politician's answer' - ie answering a question with another question.

Here's a recent example:

Me "Would you like fish for dinner"?
DH "Well, do you want fish for dinner"?
Me "I'm asking you, we can have something else if you like, just give me an idea"
DH "Well, if you want fish for dinner then I suppose I don't mind having fish for dinner"
Me [sigh]"I'm asking you what you would like"!
DH "Well, I suppose if you thought of fish for dinner then yes, I'll put up with fish".
Me "you can have anything you want!! Just say!"

As for where to go on holiday …..

Hey, we got all the humour we wanted today just reading the posts in this thread. All of us including me.

You obviously don't get out enough, Grandad1943, shame, really, your talents for repartee and witty banter are wasted.

I think I have just read one of the shortest Misandry and Inclusivity directives ever

Flowerofthewest
You should have made them swim back!

Jalima

Scene one : An Evening at Oor Hoose
DH: Do you want anything from the kitchen?
Me: A cup of coffee would be nice thanks!


Scene two : Another evening at Oor Hoose
Me: Do you want anything from the kitchen?
DH: What are you offering?
Me: What would you like?
DH: Well, what are you having?
Me slightly tetchily : Coffee, but what do you actually want?
DH: Surprise me.
Me now with gritted teeth : Remember when I brought a surprise banana and you ate my crisps instead?
DH: You're having crisps?
Me: No just a coffee, but I'd be sitting drinking it by now if you hadn't kept me standing in this draughty doorway...
DH: Oh okay a cup of tea then.
Me: Great and with great restraint and patience do you want anything to eat with it?
DH: I'm nae sure. What's the choice?


Thanks again for sharing the lighthearted moments, ladies and gentlemen.

Caledonail
Oh yes, it sounds so familiar

I took nothing amiss, MawBroon. Alas, the days when I might have taken a miss are long past...

purplepoppies. Ref your daft tourist, I remember reading about a one who asked why they had built Stonehenge so near the main road.

Or Windsor Castle so near Heathrow..

purplepoppies that is so funny.

TerriBull, don't worry "Gran" has been traditionally used for female grandparents but can now be re-purposed as an abbreviation of the word "grandparent" and applies to all who have grandchildren.
Anyone without grandchildren, but who wishes to identify as a "Gran" on this forum, is also welcome of course.