Gransnet forums

Chat

Could I ask a favour?

(78 Posts)
Polly48 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:18:42

As a relative newcomer to Gransnet, you may think that what I’m going to ask is out of order, but here goes....

If you are reading a post and have a comment or suggestion to make, or a point of view or opinion to proffer - I wonder if I might suggest that you write it, then read it to yourself whilst imagining saying it to someone’s face. If you feel ok about that, then post away. It just seems to me that there are quite a few unpleasant comments being made - and many seem to be contributing nothing of value to the post, but just to be personal attacks or relentless, uncompromising viewpoint stating, with no real attempt at seeing another’s view.
Apart from that, I love Gransnet! smile

newnanny Mon 19-Nov-18 10:01:39

would

newnanny Mon 19-Nov-18 10:01:26

Jamila, I heard that man shouting down the caller on radio too and was fuming. He wouold not be getting any cooked meals or sex for six months if he was my partner.

newnanny Mon 19-Nov-18 09:59:06

I have often received good advice on GN. Sometimes an occasional post seems a bit harsh but I think, maybe they are having a bad day and need to vent. I don't think offense is taken.

Witzend Mon 19-Nov-18 09:36:10

Ditzyme, I also visit a forum that is predominantly male,
and there's certainly nastiness/downright rudeness there! Particularly from those who can't accept that anyone else is entitled to their own (different) opinion.

Rufus2 Sat 17-Nov-18 09:45:49

"Give me a child until he is seven, and I will give you the man".
Elegran; couldn't resist this Aristotle 2 upgrade! "unless he has a sex-change on the way" Quite contemporary, don't you think. grin

Jalima1108 Wed 14-Nov-18 13:22:41

Off to my U3A craft group in a minute.
Some of the conversations are extremely interesting - and startling grin

Jalima1108 Wed 14-Nov-18 13:21:21

a male caller berated the previous female caller by saying why should we be listening to the views of housewives

I wonder if he has a wife, a partner, a mother, a sister, a daughter.
Hope they have hit him with their frying pans (whilst wearing their pinnies, of course).

Then make him sit and watch 'Housewife, 49' on a loop.

GillT57 Wed 14-Nov-18 12:14:36

There are exasperating threads on GN sometimes, but it certainly isn't dull, I wouldn't have it any other way. If it was all about knitting and cute sayings of grandchildren ( not that there is anything wrong with that), then I wouldn't be on it. I love debating with intelligent articulate people who have a variety of opinions, life experience and life skills, and you only have to read the supportive posts when someone from the community is in trouble or has a tragic event in their life to appreciate what GN means to many.

EllanVannin Wed 14-Nov-18 12:10:25

What ??

Mycatisahacker Wed 14-Nov-18 12:03:50

MaryEliza54

I shouted at the radio at that. Cheeky fucker. I think she should have pulled the plug on him to be honest

Mycatisahacker Wed 14-Nov-18 12:01:07

I think it’s all about the topic. Politics, religion etc all fine to be robust about.

Relationships and posters needing a hand hold then no be nice.

maryeliza54 Wed 14-Nov-18 10:53:38

What was sad DH said was that she was cross but defended herself by saying she wasn’t a housewife but a professional with a good career - a pity she had been socialised into responding that way. The only real response is ‘And your point is?’

Elegran Wed 14-Nov-18 10:52:26

A bit like a man who told me he wasn't going to look at the Gransnet forums "Because I don't want to listen to old women going on about their grandchildren" (I had just finished listing the many and varied topics discussed by posters both men and women) It seems the only topics certain to bring male attention to women are the battle of the sexes and the battle of sex.

toscalily Wed 14-Nov-18 10:50:00

In 2018! I would definitely blame that remark on the male callers childhood/upbringing.

maryeliza54 Wed 14-Nov-18 10:35:28

My husband was listening to R5 Live this morning-(Brexit) - a male caller berated the previous female caller by saying why should we be listening to the views of housewives ?

Elegran Wed 14-Nov-18 10:31:04

A psychologist would probably blame it on their childhood, mcem. You know, the Jesuit saying, "Give me a child until he is seven, and I will give you the man". A boy child who shows behaviour like boasting about tricking people, showing off how he can beat anyone at anything, ignoring the wishes of "mere" female members of his family and only giving in when forced to by shows of strength by the males, physical or personality-wise, is indulged as "He's a real boy!"

mcem Wed 14-Nov-18 08:46:21

What is it with the men who post on GN?
With a few rare exceptions they very quickly appear patronising, chauvinistic, pervy or just irritatingly blokeish!

sodapop Wed 14-Nov-18 08:38:03

Oh definitely Maw

MawBroon Wed 14-Nov-18 06:51:22

TMI

Rufus2 Wed 14-Nov-18 05:59:02

Good grief, Rufus you do know how to start a fight in an empty room
Elegran; Good Afternoon; I cast the bait!; you take it every time! grin
Btw; you expressed an interest in my "smalls" recently; I can't recall owning a frilly negligee, ever, nor a nightie (not even a beige one) as I prefer sleeping in the "nuddy" if you must know. Best to avoid distractions during my 3a.m. dash! grin

Elegran Tue 13-Nov-18 14:14:25

"ganging up against me too" - Good grief, Rufus you do know how to start a fight in an empty room! Not all comments and references are about you, you know. You are not the focus of everyone's universe, even if you are at the centre of your own!

Rufus2 Tue 13-Nov-18 13:52:50

(part of your charm wink)
Oh thank you Jalima! For a while I thought you were ganging up against me too, so please keep those plaudits coming. I could stay up all night receiving them, but even though they say the elderly need less sleep I'm not that old and it's now nearly 1am, so "nighty-night." smile

Elegran Tue 13-Nov-18 13:43:28

Pressed send too soon. Last sentence should have been "No wonder new posters can't." (distinguish).

Elegran Tue 13-Nov-18 13:41:18

If we could see your face or hear your voice, Rufus, as you come out with your humorous remarks, we could probably deduce whether you were being facetious or confrontational. Without those non-visual clues, we can only rely on the actual words and what we can remember (may not be much) of previous form. Multiply that by hundreds of frequent posters and thousands of posts, and there are many opportunities for confusion and unintentional insults. Then there are a very few posters whose personal remarks come from the heart and are not unintentional at all. Distinguishing those snipings from misunderstandings isn't easy for newcomers who don't have any memories of posters' past form to compare.

No wonder new posters can

Jalima1108 Tue 13-Nov-18 13:26:55

you always confuse me Rufus
(part of your charm wink)