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Could I ask a favour?

(78 Posts)
Polly48 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:18:42

As a relative newcomer to Gransnet, you may think that what I’m going to ask is out of order, but here goes....

If you are reading a post and have a comment or suggestion to make, or a point of view or opinion to proffer - I wonder if I might suggest that you write it, then read it to yourself whilst imagining saying it to someone’s face. If you feel ok about that, then post away. It just seems to me that there are quite a few unpleasant comments being made - and many seem to be contributing nothing of value to the post, but just to be personal attacks or relentless, uncompromising viewpoint stating, with no real attempt at seeing another’s view.
Apart from that, I love Gransnet! smile

Jalima1108 Mon 12-Nov-18 19:29:42

I'm really sorry hillwalker but I am not keen on hillwalking these days.
But I'm sure we must have other things we can agree on - or discuss amicably. smile

I don't like to be sworn at though.

hillwalker70 Mon 12-Nov-18 18:55:20

I think you are right MOnica, it appears to be s very diverse forum which is great, as long as there is inclusiveness and acceptance of others views.

M0nica Mon 12-Nov-18 18:37:25

I would not expect to find any sisterhood on Gransnet, although we are always very supportive of members who are struggling with personal crises. We are such a randomly self-selected group, despite most of us being grandparents, I do not think we necessarily have much in common we are so varying in age and lives and experiences.

kittylester Mon 12-Nov-18 16:03:06

Well, gn has male members too so a 'sisterhood' wouldn't be right. Most of us get on fine and I'm not sure which 'top' names you are talking about but join in anyway.

jenpax Mon 12-Nov-18 16:01:51

I would never say anything here that I wouldn’t happily say if I met the person, but I tend to stick to giving legal advice!which is my profession.so little chance of causing offence but much of being boring ??‍♀️

hillwalker70 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:58:37

Agree Polly 48, I expected to find a sisterhood here, but haven’t so far, seem to be 2 or 3 top names who have been here for ages and do not want newcomers with different point of view, still, I read in hope there may be a like minded soul one day.

sodapop Mon 12-Nov-18 15:53:36

Nice one Nonnie
Sometimes things go too far but I for one would not like a bland GN where it was all sweetness and light. That is not real life either.

kittylester Mon 12-Nov-18 15:53:14

I doubt one reading a post would help as the people who are rude are never rude by accident and the people who are unintentionally rude are not known for being rude and therefore less offence is taken.

Baggs Mon 12-Nov-18 15:52:57

I find odd the notion that what we write about on here isn't real life. We are all real and what we're writing is real. What we read is real. I don't think social media has a separate existence from the people who engage in it.

Nonnie Mon 12-Nov-18 15:48:40

Well if we are going to have a thread about all the things people shouldn't do on Gn lets include telling other what they shouldn't do.

Witzend Mon 12-Nov-18 15:45:21

I think some people just enjoy having a safe, anonymous go at others. From all I've ever gathered, they're found on most forums. I often wonder whether they're types who wouldn't dare say boo to a goose in RL.

M0nica Mon 12-Nov-18 15:41:10

Jalima I have given up on typos, between being a very poor proof reader and being partially numb in most of my fingers on my right hand, which causes lots of typos, because I cannot feel the pressure I am putting on the keys so either miss letters/spaces or repeat them.

I reckon that as long as my post is intelligible, and broken up by punctation, paragraphs and capitals, in more or less the right places then that is sufficient.

Jalima1108 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:36:14

I was just advising Grammaretto which threads could be best to avoid as well as the AIBU threads.

Jalima1108 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:34:56

No, ilovehcheese I do not.

Some posters take a delight in trying to shock others with their foul language, personal remarks etc, and, if others take umbrage or get upset, it just encourages them.
Letting it go over the top of your head is the best policy.

Ilovecheese Mon 12-Nov-18 15:30:37

Jalima Wasn't your last post the kind of remark that you think shouldn't be posted?

Jalima1108 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:30:20

Anything to do with politics can encourage foul-mouthed rants from some Grammaretto, which is quite sad.

Grammaretto Mon 12-Nov-18 15:19:58

A bit edgy is good is it not but people do snap at each other a bit.
I haven't been on for all that long either but have noticed it's often the AIBU threads which start snipers off. Avoid those and you could be ok .

Jalima1108 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:17:32

but people just let your remarks go over the top of their heads maryeliza

because they are OTT

maryeliza54 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:58:18

I’ve just intended to be harsh on another thread - no apologies from me.

Jalima1108 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:54:49

Me too M0nica

I should also check for typos blush

M0nica Mon 12-Nov-18 14:51:00

I think sometimes it is a case it is not what you say but the way that your read it. Sometimes, as you type you are running the text through your mind in the light, flippant or humorous way you would say it. But once written down it is devoid of these tones and can read very differently.

I confess this has happened to me.

rockgran Mon 12-Nov-18 14:50:14

You are right - and because the tone of voice is not evident a post can sound very harsh when it might have been intended to be funny. I try to read my posts for spelling errors at least! grin

gillybob Mon 12-Nov-18 14:43:16

Welcome to Gransnet, (warts n' all) Polly48 smile

Considering most of us have very little in common with each other, we come from different backgrounds, lifestyles and parts of the world I think we do pretty well.

Obviously some subjects (politics and the royals????) do spark "a bit of heat" and controversy but I would rather have that than a 100 "yes me too" posts. I have had some brilliant help and kind advice over the years from people who I have never met. What could be nicer than that?

popsis71 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:43:05

I agree ! In my view contributors should avoid falling into the trap of using the cloak of anonimity as a cover for bad manners - it lowers the standard of debate.

maryeliza54 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:42:16

Sorry Polly I’m afraid you’ll just have to dream on - this is social media not RL