I'm in tatters today

Oh dear I seem to have misplaced my usual stoic calm. I've had some health problems recently and I think the sedation I had at the hospital earlier this week has left me feeling rather fragile. This whole time of Remembrance is always difficult, but I'm not normally undone by it and yet this year has been particularly hard. I haven't even felt able to join in with local events because I know I'll just cry the whole time. I avoided the big commemoration service in town on Friday and went alone to place my poppies afterwards. A poor lady saw my tears and asked if I was okay and I ended up sobbing as I explained that it would have been my daughter's wedding anniversary, but her husband was killed in Afghanistan. I think I ruined her day, but she was very kind.

And now I'm on tenterhooks waiting for my son to call with news of my lovely daughter-in-law who is two days short of her due date and had severe haemorrhaging in the night. She's now in hospital and labour has started, but I'm anxious rather than excited. We've picked up their dog and brought him home with us (he's very used to staying here) and although he is usually very calm and placid he is now nervously pacing and whining around the room; he's obviously picked up on everyone's anxiety. Having texted earlier fairly regularly my son has not sent or responded to a text for almost two hours now and I can't help but worry.

The Wonderful Man is throwing himself into doing jobs around the house, but I know that it's displacement activity because he's anxious. I've tried to keep busy, but now all I can do is watch my phone - and pray!